bad day at work - need coping tips!

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I had a really bad day at work today. I work in a creche for teenage parents - very part-time because I wouldn't be able to cope with anything more. When the parents came to collect the children, one of the mother's started swearing at me, saying I hadn't looked after her child properly before storming off. I was reassured by others at work that I am a good child carer and this mother is well known for being very volatile and I was told just to forget about it. However, I find this very difficult to do. I feel like I am completely in the moment of her ranting at me and I don't know how to get over it.

So, does anyone have any tips about how to forget about a bad day and move on (that don't include drugs, alcohol or self-harm)?

A prize for the most useful answer!

....

I thought I had the perfect solution, but then you said "no alcohol"

I understand the difficulty in dealing with people yelling at you. I've worked with a couple of people like that and it is extremely stressful. As Chronos wrote, a long walk can be helpful. I do that when work becomes so stressful that I can't concentrate. I find any kind of conflict very unpleasant and so dealing with people like that can stress me out for the rest of the day (or week if it's particularly disturbing.)

Sensitivity to noise and difficulty assessing emotional states makes dealing with volatile people far more stressful for Aspies. I've heard that very often people like this think little of their anger and may be over it within minutes. It's just how they relate to the world. For them, yelling and screaming is just normal. It makes life miserable for everyone else, but they can't see it.

It might be helpful to remind yourself that their reaction is really just an extreme expression of a normal emotion. It's like they have their volume turned up way too loud and they are so deaf that they don't realize how they come across. Their anger and explosiveness may be their way of expressing exactly the same emotion that you might express with a slight frown. Maybe the best thing you can do is recognize that they are the ones with a problem and you should feel sorry for them for their inability to cope with reality successfully.

I also used to work with parenting teens, and while most of the moms were happy to have support and care for their children, there were sometimes emotional outbursts.

I was taught by the other workers to keep in mind that a new mom is dealing with with a lot of stress, including (but not limited to) being a single parent, being stressed about the cost and effort of raising a child, possible strained relationships with their own families/partners, and having to learn trust that others might be better qualified to care for their little ones. It was an opportunity to teach and learn at the same time, and not always easy.

i found it comforting to know that just having myself and the other staff members around helped greatly expand that child's circle of adults, and would, in the long run, prove intangibly valuable. In terms of immediate relief from stress, I also find it relaxing to go outside and breathe deeply. I alsohave some very nice rocks that I've collected that I stack, I call them serenity rocks. they're all irregularly shaped, and they *can* be balanced on one another, but it takes some care and focus. I keep at it until I can stack 3 of them at least two different ways. by then I know I'm calm enough to return to whatever it was that I fled from in the first place.

Keep a fidgit by your side.
Fidgit= Just in case you didn't know, stress ball, small toy, key chains, and other stuff that you can play with.

I echo what Sandrana and Jagatai have said. Take a walk, take a hot bath, do whatever is it that rejuvenates and soothes you. I have also worked in a creche. It's so jolting and horrible when you get yelled at by some parent especially when you've done nothing wrong. Just keep on telling yourself that as long as you have done your job correctly then THEY are the one with the problem and they do NOT have the right to make you feel bad........don't allow their attitude problem to affect you. It's incredibly hard I know........makes you want to curl into a ball and never leave home again but there is always going to be someone at some point or another who will have a go at you through no fault of your own. People often lash out and vent their frustration or anger at whoever is the nearest or easiest target.

Thanks loads for all the supportive answers, I have felt a lot better just reading them - though Lene, where has your post gone? I read it earlier and thought "that's really useful" and now it's disappeared.

I guess I had difficulty understanding why someone would behave in this way, because I don't think it is something I would ever do and my main way of making sense of human behaviour is to relate it to how I would feel and react in a situation. It is, as Sandrana said

Many thanks, Lene - it is certainly good advice.

Pagangirl
xxx

I've always felt the angry emotions behind things the most hurtful out of anything. A hard punch from a friend is welcome, but a slight touch from someone with anger behind them is excruciatingly painful and defaming. Usually these types of things bother me so much that I feel my heart pound and my feelings rush, I feel hurt - I feel sad. Rooted from the regret I feel, whether my fault or not. Or perhaps from the sadness I feel from being hated..

In the end the only thing that works is to step back and remove myself from the mindset, tell myself there will always be that time, and always that setting. That one person from their own bad day, or just because its who they are.... will come up, jab me i the gut, and walk away..