Gave notice, and left dept. store job.

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I quit. It’s already over. I had to play it by myself, feel and texture. I did it right. A week ago Tuesday I gave written two-weeks notice. This Tuesday was my last day. They didn’t even need me the whole time.

I thought, a job like this, getting there on time each and every time was key. They didn’t even hardly seem to notice.

What was important was closing promptly. Some people start shutting down an hour and fifteen minutes early, so that the moment they call for bags they can take them. That, and not leaving returns and put-backs by your register. It’s almost obsessive compulsive in that regard. It is not a serious, professional sales environment at all.

The other thing is to just not care that much. You can’t fake it. The solution is really not to care. You do not want to end up caring more than the manager. I cared too much.

The day it all went bad (way back in December but it didn’t get any better). I let a lady in shoes talk me into calling and asking to be moved. (what I should have done-->’No, this is where they assigned me.’ And, ‘If you have a problem with the scheduling, you need to take it up with the management.’ Just be matter-of-fact about it as if I don’t give a damn one way or the other, and that’s the way to play it.)

The fact that I requested the transfer changed the dynamic and made me less confident when I went over to suits. And a little bit I fell into trying to be a good sport. I get over to suits and this guy is there who’s off duty. He starts off saying, “You know, what you said the other day was really dumb . . . ” And he goes on and on. That is, he is talking trash on his day off. He is coming into the store on his day off and causing problems. (what I should have done-->said ‘Excuse me.’ and calmly walked over to another register and called the manager on duty. ‘ . . . and he’s talking s**t on his day off.’ and probably should have put it in those exact words and the manager might get the point.) Instead, rather felt I should stand there and take it, or I fell into this. And I tried to respond to the content of what he was saying at the end. Well, it had nothing to do with content. It has all to do with that, as commission salespeople, they resent the hell of the store hiring new people for the busy Christmas when they could make some real money, and they basically look for things to nitpick regarding the new people. That is, it had to do with context. I neither poached sales nor let them walk over me. I walked that line. But that was not enough. And really, being transferred back and forth between two different commission depts., almost no win. Wherever I’m at, they’re going to wish “that guy” is at the other place.

Once this guy leaves, after he’s destroyed the workplace (and I should have laughed at him, at least on the inside or after I walked away), *Edwin seemed to pick up the anti-, the treating me as a problem, trying to “assign” me a task. I tried to deflect it, saying let me finish this first (what I should have done-->'No, we are co-workers. No, I’m not going to do that. Neither one of us has the right to assign tasks.' [and I’m a good worker. I do a lot of stuff on my own. Thought that would build some street cred as it were. No, didn’t work that way. But that’s still the way to play it.] That is, I should have stood up to him right away. Which would have been risking, since the managers are so disengaged, so passive, that they defer to the senior people in each dept almost as if they were assistant managers. But it might have been worth taking the chance.) So, being a good sport I agree to put the dress shirts down off the top into the cubicles. But I do it my way, walking around fixing anything glaring and then getting more and more detailed.

I am picking a plastic pack of T-shirts off the walkway. White, clear plastic, almost a potential slip hazard.

The guy walks right over to me. With barely restrained anger he says, either shaking his finger in my face or that much anger as if he was, “When I give you a task, I expect you to do it!”

I say, “Son, you are not my boss!”

Then, realizing that I had raised my voice loud on the sales floor, I said in a more regular voice, “______ is my boss. And _____ is my boss. You know I’m going to have to talk to someone.”

He said, “Probably the same person I am.” He’s not a bad guy. But he let the other guy influence him too much. (Previously, I had thought of him as a kind of a friend. Probably too much. Probably not even a potential friend, just an alright co-worker. At the beginning, then this happened.)

I go to another register. Call the manager on duty, “Something bad happened. Would like to meet privately where we can discuss this in a mature, responsible way.” She says to meet her upstairs.

I am shaking with anger. I walk to the bathroom, just to have a little chance to walk somewhere and get my energy out. It occurs to me that the guy made a major breech of conventional etiquette by causing problems on his day off. The line occurs to, I’m at my assigned work station in business attire. He’s there in street clothes talking trash (really wanted to say talking s**t, but talking trash is the more polite way).

I then pick up my paycheck. Kind of a source of power, at least in my book.

I go to the executive offices, saying I was asked to come upstairs. ______ passed me off to the main assistant manager for the whole store. We had about a half hour conversation. I talked too long. Well, I’m a good observer.

At the beginning, he said, “I don’t think *Edwin has any kind of supervisory authority.”
But then, back in my department at 5:00, he says “You have your work cut out for you.” And he said this about the shirts for crying out loud! As if I was the problem.

And when I told my area manager about the entire situation on the phone the next day, she seemed to get it.

But the following day she said, “Commission sales people are territorial.” as if this main assistant manager had talked with her, as if she was trying to steer some kind of weird middle course.

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Other bad stuff. It didn’t improve. Other posts:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt142494.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt143671.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt145558.html [<--some of my previous description of this incident]
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt147656.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt155745.html

Skimpy hours. And about a variety of things, almost feel like I’m going to blow up at someone. And I read on the Internet that this company uses “coupon abuse” and claims of financial impropriaties to file more long-term people, really just to cut the higher wages.

So, abundant reasons to fold the hand.

Still don’t feel great about it. Feel hurt. Feel embarrassed.

(And still, if someone needs space, go ahead and give them space without the intervening step of asking whether they should need space. I still believe in this method. Didn't really use it, not going to work all the time. One of a number of methods.)

And I want to do another post in the future just as long and just as detailed about a social or work situation that works out! Or, I invite you to help contribute to that positive side.

This sounds like something that would happen to me.

I don't take direction and criticism well, so a person who I consider to be an equal telling me what to do would be difficult. I have learned to have a gentler response to most people, but I still have difficulty with authority figures, even false ones. When I get into conflicts like this I try to think, 'Is this worth fighting over." I wonder if this battle is really worth it.

Chris, thank you for responding and Welcome to WP!

Yes, those are some of the very things I've been asking myself. All I can say, this one, the way it turned out, I wish I would have raised more of a stink earlier, and then let a decent manager come through in a somewhat winning way. But a lot of this, six of one, half a dozen of the other, it's very, very hard to tell in advance.

I am trying to develop more middle skills.

I am also trying to add the skill of a matter-of-fact "Okay" or "Wow." That is just where someone is at, as far at a particular time.