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SadAspy
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12 May 2011, 4:37 pm

As if I needed any more reasons to quit my current job, I'm constantly being harassed by younger and less educated people for being shy, awkward, introspective, and spending my lunch breaks reading. Clearly, these are AS traits.

Anyone have experience with this? What should I do?



tomboy4good
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12 May 2011, 4:57 pm

Yup, I know just how you feel.


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Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
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anewman
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12 May 2011, 5:07 pm

It's a difficult one.

Complain and you will get branded with a "reputation" as a complainer and the complaint won't be taken seriously..

Give it back to the offenders and chances are they will make a complaint about you that will get you sacked. You would be one person complaining about many, they would be many people complaining about you. Sadly majority rules - same with issues of bullying at school, schools rarely take action against the majority who are bullies and instead try to exclude the child who is bullied.

Have you divulged your AS to colleagues? Doing so may make them more thoughtful of what they are doing, if done so in a manner aimed at the harassment - but again this could be a motivator for further abuse, and a reason your employer might want to get rid of you as whatever "disability" means, difference is something people do not like (hence the harassment).



Chronos
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12 May 2011, 10:24 pm

SadAspy wrote:
As if I needed any more reasons to quit my current job, I'm constantly being harassed by younger and less educated people for being shy, awkward, introspective, and spending my lunch breaks reading. Clearly, these are AS traits.

Anyone have experience with this? What should I do?


I doubt they are intending to harass you. They are probably curious about you because they don't know a lot about you, and are trying to socialize with you to get to know you better.

This is not unreasonable of them.

You might try interacting with them a little more. I think NT's are a bit like cats who aren't allowed to go into a particular room. The cat will become incredibly curious and obsess over going into the very room it's not allowed into, and try to get in it any chance it gets. However once the cat is allowed to explorer the room and sit in it for a while, and once they know the can go in it most of the time they want, they generally lose interest in it.



anewman
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12 May 2011, 10:45 pm

Chronos wrote:
I doubt they are intending to harass you. They are probably curious about you because they don't know a lot about you, and are trying to socialize with you to get to know you better.

Whether this is true or not depends largely on the behaviour. For example, I have had neighbours smashing eggs on my car, leaving card board boxes on it, and intentionally setting the alarm off - not that I ever did anything to them or reacted in any way to these events. I suspect I just hacked them off because I had a car, they didn't, and I was shy and they thought I was an easy target. Also I have experienced quite bad bullying at school. Those are not normal curious behaviours - yet they are quite normal ways for NT's to behave towards Aspies. Even in a work setting. Many NT's, if they do not like something and think they can get the upper hand, or gain control in some way, they will take every advantage available to them - including their social skills, even if to do so is detrimental to the other person. Afterall this is exactly what "discrimination" is. When Aspie's social skills are impaired, it is not unexpected NT's will take advantage of this, and that Aspies are unlikely to be able to respond effectively to thwart such attacks. This is also why NT's suck up to superiors and brown nose at work.

If it's a bit of banter or comments intended to initiate conversation, then you're probably right. Otherwise, NT's do have the capacity to be particularly nasty to Aspies, often without realising it themselves. There is just no justification for name calling, or things like practical jokes - particularly if when the Aspie returns the practical joke they are likely to be punished for it. All too often these types of behaviours are acceptable NT -> Aspie but not Aspie -> NT. I know that's rather simplistic, but it gets the point across.

Likewise I accept also that Aspies have a tendency to view workplace banter in a negative light and see it as something more than it is. But I think with experience interpreting such behaviours is something many Aspies can get quite good at.

Sorry to be technical, but I think the cat thing is about marking territory etc. I guess when you think about it the NT approach similar to how you describe is somewhat the same. If you won't mark your territory, an NT will.



SadAspy
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12 May 2011, 11:13 pm

I see Chronos' point and I don't even really mind people asking stuff about me, but they were way out of line today. I mean....ridiculing me for reading during my lunch? REALLY?



zer0netgain
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13 May 2011, 8:20 am

SadAspy wrote:
As if I needed any more reasons to quit my current job, I'm constantly being harassed by younger and less educated people for being shy, awkward, introspective, and spending my lunch breaks reading. Clearly, these are AS traits.

Anyone have experience with this? What should I do?


Well, you give way too little info to help.

1. What kind of place do you work at? Do they have a HR department? Do they have a way to file a grievance or are you in a small shop where it's basically you, them and the boss? This would go a long way to figure out your options.

2. Are you formally diagnosed with AS or other condition? Most assertions of "discrimination" mandate that you prove you have a disability. Many people who are confident that they are Autistic don't have a formal diagnosis due to limitations in resources or finances to pay for a diagnosis.

3. I can tell you that if you feel a need to file a grievance, you should make a formal complaint to the EEOC or state-equivalent agency in advance of saying anything to the employer. This is just my opinion because I know IF you file a complaint first with the employer, they can find a reason to fire you and if you later claim to EEOC that it was because you are disabled, you must prove it was so. If you file the complaint first, and copy the employer on your complaint when you file a grievance, if they fire you the EEOC will very likely regard the termination as retaliatory and the employer must prove it was not.

I honestly do not know if filing complaints gets you labeled as a troublemaker or not. I've never had an employer tell me I was unlikely to be considered because of my history of filing complaints against some employers (happened about 3 times), but I'm sure if someone really wants to check your background, they will find out how often you've filed complaints against former employers and so there's no telling of how that will impact future opportunity. If you were a racial minority, it probably would mean nothing, but those of us with neurological disabilities have no groups advocating for our opportunity and advancement in society, so we do take some risk that a complaint today might burn a bridge later down the road.



gc1ceo
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19 Aug 2011, 7:21 pm

Yep, gotten similar. The younger snarker ones with less experience/knowledge but better social skills have thought I was Forrest Gump, the older ones who are stuck at their level because of lack of education, whatever dont think how someone like me might one day be above them.

Have run into something like that several times in several jobs.