Incredibly stressed at work
My place of employment has become extremely stressful. Specifically because I work one-on-one with a client who has a severe personality disorder. I have trouble understanding people's intentions and emotions and my client has found my weakness. She is very manipulative and I have been getting in trouble alot at work. I would like another job and have been sending out applications with no success. The only reason I got the job I have now is because they had walk-in interview days. I have a college degree and am overqualified for my job now and the positions I've applied for. The problem is that the places I do qualify for want at least 5 years experience to even be considered...I have two years experience. I'm not quite sure what to do; I've spoken with my supervisors who seem to think I'm impenetrable and can take my client's behaviors in stride. In actuality, my stress level is so high, I've been having health problems. At this point, I'm tempted to throw in the towel and quit (with no paycheck coming in). Any suggestions would be great. Thanks
I can relate, we have the AHole consultant here and I had scheduled a meeting but we experienced a sever production problem that I had to take care of. So I was 5 minutes late for the meeting.
So this moron starts in on my "When you call a meeting it needs to be on time, you're wasting my time"...etc
I looked at him said "Production issues take priority over meetings , and the next time you come to one of mine leave you attitude at the door."
And I haven't had a problem with him thereafter...
My point is be direct and tell her, "Look, if you want my best effort in achieving the outcome you want, certain things need to change" and outline specifically what will help to improve the working relationship. Don't get personal, don't get pushy, simply say what needs to happen in general terms for the situation to improve.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
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Location: Houston, Texas
There is a way to half quit.
"No, I can't give you more information than that. It is something I have to take care of."
This is a fib. This is a lie of deflection, a lie of self-defense. I think it is ethically acceptable with the exception that if you have a close personal relationship with your boss. Notice that this is the more mature, adult way of calling in sick. It is also more flexible. You can take additional days if need be.
But please be aware that it is kind of half quitting. The job might go away. It's kind of like a gambit in chess or a 'play' at the poker table.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas
Okay, there might be a way to finesse this. They reacted exactly like if you had gone to them with the understatement "Starting to be a problem . . " (When in fact it was a problem, had been a problem for some time. For some reason, it sounds like your supervisors, as is often the case, did not invest the emotional energy to really engage and really listen.)
So, try and view the first conversation as if it had been a heads-up and a first pass. And maybe approach the second conversation with something like, "You know we talked about how it was beginning to be a problem. Well, it's now a problem. I'd say at least medium [have a little fun with it deliberatively understating it] problem."
[Maybe watch an episode of Boston Legal to get the approach]
In a sense you are giving them a second chance to doing a good job at listening, and doing so without blaming. You are taking a mature approach as if you are the boss and it's their job to help you, only you're just not being obvious about it.
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If you want to give some specifics (Mr. L, *Robert, changing some details for privacy), people here at Wrong Planet are often very good at kind of thinking through a situation and thinking of good responses.
And good luck with what is clearly a difficult situation.
