I just got wore out by the whole thing. Please Help!! !

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I started working at this grocery store in Cincinnati Ohio back in July 25th of 2007. 1 year before I received an official diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. After 1.5 years I started attending classes at the University of Cincinnati. While receiving lots of help for my disability I was working on average 25-32 hours a week while receiving the full amount of federal loans as well as my Montgomery G.I. Bill. I was taking about 2-3 classes per semester up until I graduated in April of 2013. Now keep in mind for 6 years I had worked second shift almost the entire time. Went to school in the morning, worked at night and any time that I had, literally I spent studying, or cooking my meals. I did not take one decent break through this whole period of time.

By my last year of college I was SOOOOO bored with stocking shelves that it began to show in my attitude and my level of productivity. My level of professionalism slowly slipped further and further until I could barely hold on to it. My professional situation got so bad that they put me back in the original janitorial position that I started with. But at least I get to keep the $14.15 an hour, thank god. You may ask the reason why I stick with this job and not get another one. Well the problem is I am 35 years old and I don't have the luxury of being able to live with rich parents. I am living by myself, supporting myself, paying my own bills, including student loan payments. When I got my bachelors degree I was not able to obtain any kind of internship position due to the fact that my academic skills were so poor I had to put in the extra effort to revive them. Thanks to having lived with a mother who was undiagnosed herself and tried to raise me and a father whose picture should be illustrated with the definition of clueless on wiktionary.

However I have started volunteering at a local Hospice in an Administrative Assistant position which will give me the hard skills I need to obtain that government position I want so bad. I am also taking anywhere from 15 to 30 mg of Adderall daily but I find that I don't really need it if I am in a situation that I am in right now, or maybe not. I have the city Vocational Rehabilitation working with me, thank god. Plus I have my disability counselor that I still keep a relationship with to this day.


But those facts do not change the fact that I am physically and mentally exhausted. Emotionally I want to punch every customer who comes into that grocery store. The economy is climbing but it gave me the middle finger because I obtained a liberal arts degree with no other hard skills. I just......I just need to rest. I don't know what else to do, I really don't.

I'm not a doctor, and will never be a medical doctor, so any medication advice I offer is only casual. That being said, uh...Adderall? A lot of aspies are misdiagnosed with ADHD when they're kids, then later get a diagnosis for Asperger's or HFA. So, maybe you don't need the Adderall. With that idea out there, keep in mind that unless you really are naturally hyperactive, Adderall is going to do other things to you. It calms some people down. Others use it like speed for studying.

If you're already comfortable taking pills, you could add or switch to LOW dose Xanax or Ativan for when you're emergency stressed out, or get on an antidepressant for social anxiety. Something like that can make unavoidable social situations bearable.

What's your Bachelors in? Can you focus on getting a new job in whatever your area is? It would be better overall if you could just do something that doesn't bore you to death and pays a decent wage.