Interview process.

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I don't know if a thread like this exist allready... I am going to make it anyway.

So i have been out of work for awhile and i fill out job applications, when i get called for the interview process i never seem to do well in it because of my inability to maintain eye contact, not fiddle with my hands when speaking, and sit still.

After the interview is over i never get a call back or i get called back for re-interviews and the process on my inability to do the previous things reoccur. I have a hard time getting hired.

My questions to the community are: Does anyone else have any tips? Has anyone had a similar experience?

I appreciate your feedback

On a related note... I also have a problem filling out paper applications because i am really embarrassed of my hand writing and i try to get a family member to help me because i believe that employers look at the hand writing quality before they make that call.

Same questions apply for this topic as well as the other.

Thank You.

I'm really not great at interviews, so my advice is of limited veracity-but I can suggest what I try to do myself:

1. Be confident and friendly. Smile, laugh at their jokes, try to present yourself as a positive, happy person. Honestly, I think that matters as much as your qualifications with some people.

2. Leave far ahead of time, or go find the place the day before, so you don't get lost or arrive late. I have blown an interview or two by getting lost and then getting very anxious and, as a result, having a terrible interview.

3. Talk about yourself and your skills with lots of confidence. Focus on what you do well, and talk it up (without seeming cocky, of course). If asked a difficult question like "What's your worst trait?", don't try to put a super-positive spin on it, and don't be too self-deprecating. Just be honest and that will usually get you points.

4. Here's the one I have the most trouble with - Don't say too much! I have a tendency to go off into left field and say something that ruins the interview.

5. Dress as well as possible. It really does matter.

Good luck with your job hunt

Be early!

Try to do a little eye contact. Try not to fidget too much. If you can do this they will probably interpret your behavior as natural nervousness.

Don't sweat the handwriting. Mine is so bad I actually had to force myself in my 20's to work on it just so I could read what I wrote, and have never found it to be a problem.

Hope that helps.

i know i had the same problems...it's not easy, but keep trying.

for the hand fidgiting, i just clasp my hands tightly in my lap. do not cross your legs, because this could lead to leg-bouncing. sit up straight, and try to stay focused on doing these things.

for the eye contact, i find that as long as you don't have your eyes darting away every few seconds, then it's not too bad. smiling a lot is good too, and if you can, look at them when they ask the question. the questions are usually short, so it's not that long a time you have to be maintaining the eye contact. when the question is finished, then you can breathe (lol!) and look away...i always try to make it look more like i'm thinking about the response to the question rather than about not wanting to make eye contact. the other thing i do is not look them in the eye, but over their shoulder. it still looks (kinda) like you're looking at them.

my biggest problem is when i get asked questions, my mind goes blank, and it happens even for the easiest questions. in my last job interview (for the position i currently have) i had it with both the district manager and regional manager present...talk about intimidating! the rm asks me to tell him about myself...ummm...i completely blank! i think i responded with the answer...'well, my name is karen...uhhh...could you ask me something more difficult?' duh!! ! good thing he had a sense of humour...i couldn't have given a more lame answer if i tried, i don't think! but, he must have been okay with it because 10 minutes later, he offered me the job.

keep trying, you'll eventually do well enough that even when you make comments like i did, someone will like your personality enough to hire you.

good luck!

My own tips for interview process... While I still interview badly, I have improved dramatically.

1. Eye Contact:
Practice with an NT. I am not sure of your particular problems with eye contact but I tend to lose concentration and focus when making contact for extended periods of time (i.e. NT amounts.) Some people describe sensory overload, others just merely irritated eyes. My own solution was merely to practice with an NT friend of mine. He would ask me questions and I would have to answer them while maintaining eye contact. Get a friend (or family member) to do the same. If they could give you feedback on if you are staring or making "too little" eye contact as well so you can practice, all the better. Basically it's just a matter of getting used to it. You might have to adjust this advice based on your own specific problems for eye contact. If it's just dry eyes try eye drops before the interview so that your eyes "last."

Remember interviews only last a short while (depending on job applied for) so you only have to concentrate for that length of time. Once it's over, you can relax and go back to normal.

2. Fidgeting:
This one is a little hard to control. Especially if like me you are completely unaware that you are doing it. There is no real simple way to combat it. I have found a multi-faceted approach works well.
a. Before your interview do extended vigorous exercise. Make it short and sharp but make it debilitating. I.E. SPRINT around the block till you collapse. Then shower and go to your interview. I find when I am tired I tend to naturally fidget less.
b. For 2 days before your interview don't eat ANY simple sugars. Complex ones are okay, but no sugary foods. Or caffeine. Sugar agitates the muscles and they contract as a way to simply get rid of the sugar in the blood stream. (think butterflies in stomache, that's a release of sugar into the blood stream for expected fight or flight) If you have a lower blood sugar level (or one made up of complex carbohydrates) it will naturally calm that muscular system down.
c. Diversion. After all that I still find I fidget a bit, especially in stressful situations. Try a diversionary tactic. Get a specific thing to fiddle with. Something small an not noticeable and which fiddling action is small and not noticeable. A small coin is a good one. Flip it through your fingers, or turn it over and over in your off hand. I.E. if you are right handed flip it in your left.
d. Concentration. For the duration of your interview you might just need some good ol' brute force will power and concentration. I know taking cognitive power away from the interview process is probably not the wisest thing to do, but if you're going to start rocking or flapping, or making loud noises or being distracting in some other way, then you'll probably want to tone it down for the duration of your interview. If all else fails you might just have to concentrate on keeping still. Just remember not to beat yourself up if you let something slip. Just re-affirm control, and take it from there.

3. Sitting still:
Much like fidgeting (except for c.) This one is just one where you have to exert some willful self suppression. Find a comfortable position to sit in (you can practice it at home) and will yourself to that position. If you find yourself moving, don't sweat it. Bring yourself back to your "home" position and start again. Remember not to beat yourself up over doing any of these activities. It will only make the situation worse. Practice the serenity prayer (see Signature.)

4....
Remember EVERYONE is nervous when going for a job interview. If it didn't mean anything to you (the job) you wouldn't be going. Remember that everyone, even NT's, are nervous and that a certain amount of fidgeting and what not is perfectly natural. The goal is not elimination, it is limitation. The best advice is just to relax. You've already got enough difficulties getting along with NT's as it is. So adding to your stress levels isn't going to help. To get that relaxed state think of your happy place. For me when I am about to go into a stressful situation I think about spinning on a swivel chair, or watching sci-fi with my cat, or reading my anthropology journals, or driving my convertible in the sunshine, or listening to my favourite music.

I hope that advice works. It has worked for me. While I am still a "bad" interviewee, I am getting better. And am far better than I was in my early 20's.

Thank you guys, all really good advice.

I will practice on working at it and keep you updated.

Thanks again.

good luck, and hard work

I would concur with all of this.

I think that the point about not talking too much is worth re-emphasising. I read once about the two minute rule: never talk for longer; keep you answers succinct.

With regard to eye contact, I would practice outside with a trusted friend/colleague.

My main advice would be however - be yourself. I know that this is difficult at times because of conscious feelings of shortcomings, but you can't be something that you are not; and this includes when you are actually in the job as well.

You will find a company that is suitable if you just keep at it and stikc to this requirment.

Kornik

Like someone else said, I think it really helps to get an NT friend/relative to practise with you. They can also ask you some of the more common interview questions so that you know what you want to say, this will make you calmer when the real thing comes. I also think that it's important to buy a reeeaally good interview outfit. People judge how together you are by how good your appearance is. It may be a prejudice but its an easy one to play to.

I always always have a CV ready rather than filling in a form. CV's are better for selling yourself. And obviously no one can tell what your handwriting's like.

After the interveiw do not stress out wondering what you might have done differently to better your chances on a your prior job interveiw. Focus on the next job interview. I was so sure I did not get a promotion job I applied and interviewed for. I knew I had blown the interview I did not say any of the right things so I felt at the time. Imagine how shocked I was when I was told I got the promotion and guess what they said it was mostly because I aced the interview.

I think that the interview system is very unfair on us, since we are judged on our ability to practice a set of social skills that often are not even relevant to the job.

In the past, I have had a similar problem to yours, and could not hope to be hired via the interview route. I ended up registering with temping agencies. I was sent to a few jobs; in the last one I was sent to, after a while the employer could see that I was doing the job well and offered it to me as a permanent contract; I've now been there for the past seven years.

If it is feasible for you, I suggest you try the same strategy. It works both ways actually: if you have done the job for a while already, when you are offered it permanently you have a more objective impression of what the job is like than you would after just a short interview, as well as the employer having a more objective impression of you. Disappointments are less likely.