strange situations at work

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Hi,

I have been finding at work that one of the people I am working with on data entry has been asking me many questions and getting me to help her all the time. I helped her, because I thought it was the right thing to do, though at times her lack of common sense was astounding.

This morning, after asking for my opinion again twice, she passed me a business card and said "Can you phone for our timesheets."

She is from another country and has ok english.. she is perfectly capable of talking on the phone but for some reason asked me to do it. I felt really annoyed but I did it.

Then when the timesheets arrived hers was wrong and she came up to me again and asked me to phone them and request they send her correct timesheet.

I said "Why can't you make the phonecall?"

The guy next to me offered to call, which immediately made me seem mean and petty, but I couldnt understand why she needed people to make phonecalls for her.

Anyway I feel really confused over this.. perhaps it is because english is her second language, but if she had explained this I would have understood, I just thought she was lazy.

I think it is rude to go up to someone and suggest they make a phonecall for you (twice) without a reason, but perhaps in Crazy NT world this is ok?!?!?

Any thoughts?

Maybe shes an Aspie-many of us don`t like talking on the phone.

I dont get the impression she is an aspie at all.
Im happy to help someone out, as long as I know they are not taking advantage of me.

That was my first thought. I have asked people to make phone calls for me.

As English is her second language she may feel making a non-personal phone call in English is a minefield. It simply could be a confidence issue for her.

I am wondering, though, why she is always coming to you with questions and 'could you make this phone call'. It could be she feels she has found someone to rely on, and you are her go-to, or it could be she is taking advantage of you, and you are her crutch. Look this one over. You're the one who's in the middle of it, so you have to make that call.

I think it is fine to ask for a favour but if it is something you can physically do yourself you should say "I find it hard to talk to them" or something.

I am not a mind reader. How am I supposed to tell the difference between someone thinking im a soft touch, and someone genuinely wanting help? this is the problem.

I feel like NTs expect me to be a mind reader all the time and understand things that havent actually been put into words.

Sorry for sounding ratty but im upset. I just cant cope with situations where I am presented with stuff and the way I have reacted is again wrong because I only could see what words were being said.

Does her job title differ from yours? Sometimes people are presumptuous enough to think that they outrank you, and therefore you should perform menial tasks for them.

While I am trying not to sound xenophobic, I have found that this is more likely to happen with someone from another country, who may simply have a different concept of 'pecking order'.

I don't blame you for being bugged, especially when someone else steps in to seem chivalrous. Well, let's see how long the guy enjoys doing her chores

Maybe she is taking advantage of you?

My gut instinct would be to stop helping her. I know this sounds mean, but especially if you are dealing with something as sensitive as payroll and timesheets, you could easily get caught up in an ugly situation and lose your job. For example if she were to be caught falsifying her timesheet and blamed you, it might be your word against hers. Regardless of whether she is Aspy or is just having cultural issues, you aren't doing her any favors by doing things for her that she could/should be doing on her own. I work with people from many different countries so I know they might have some problems with language and adjusting, and I am willing to make allowances for a lot of things, but I have also seen situations firsthand where someone tried to use their race or the fact they were from another country to take advantage. Sad to say they often get away with it because it is not "politically correct" here in the US to call attention to that; if you do, you're in the wrong.

At the very least I would try to find out what is the problem here, why she cannot or will not make phone calls on her own. Because sooner or later she will have to fly on her own. What happens when you aren't there?

Thanks for your help (((((((all))))))

Yes I realise now that it was just a case of her being a person who likes to get things done for her, she seems to lack confidence and as a result rely heavily on others for stuff... I kind of wish she would distribute it evenly instead of putting it all on me.

Anyway I feel better now, I was just upset at a difficult interpersonal situation and I thought it happened to me because I am not good with social stuff. But I now realise that anyone would have got annoyed at her.

That's a weird situation.

If it happens again (or something like it), it wouldn't be rude for you to ask "Why do you want me to do this for you?"

I had a similar situation at a job I once had. A woman was hired to work in my department and our job title was the same, so she was not my boss, but she would constantly ask me to do things for her that she was perfectly capable of doing, she just didnt want to get off her butt and do it. "Can you make a copy of this for me?" "Can you hand this paper to Tom?" " Can you make a call for me?". The first few times I went along with it, I guess partly the Aspie in me and partly just to be nice. After a while of doing this I finally just started making up excuses "I'm sorry I'm on my way to do something" or something like that. I'm not really sure the right way to handle the situation myself but the excuse thing seemed to work I guess lol. In retrospect I should have just told her straight up that I have my own job to do and such, but I would probably come off looking like a complete a** like usual.