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EmileMulder
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12 Mar 2014, 8:12 pm

mamabear78 wrote:
That's the thing...I see no reason to treat for ADHD in the manner of meds. He does fine at school thus far. \


That's good. There are also behavioral interventions for ADHD, and it's possible to get schools / insurance to pay for them. The sorts of behavioral issues you have at home may be covered. They are on the milder end of what gets covered though, so depending on where you live, and how tight the purse strings of the people involved are, it may require more or less of a fight to get those kinds of services.



mamabear78
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12 Mar 2014, 8:18 pm

I briefly looked through that first article link you posted. I'm going to print out the entire thing to be able to read it all. Thank you so much. It looks like awesome information.



mamabear78
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12 Mar 2014, 8:47 pm

Do you guys ever hear or read about people who have more asperger-type brains (thinking, logic, patterns) and communication skills, yet are not necessarily aspergers socially? Or from everything I've described does it sound more like a child who has ADHD?

I was just talking to my son and he's so literal. He makes me laugh, but he is so literal and often calls me weird. I take this as a compliment.



ASDMommyASDKid
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12 Mar 2014, 9:02 pm

It is a spectrum, so he could be on the very mild side, or he could have "traits" but they could maybe not be clinically significant. Being literal is a communication aspect of autism. Do other people have issues with being too literal? I would guess so.



mamabear78
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12 Mar 2014, 9:05 pm

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
It is a spectrum, so he could be on the very mild side, or he could have "traits" but they could maybe not be clinically significant. Being literal is a communication aspect of autism. Do other people have issues with being too literal? I would guess so.


What do you mean by not clinically significant? How many people out there walk around with just the traits I wonder?



zette
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13 Mar 2014, 12:27 am

Welcome, mamabear!

There is something out there called Broader Autistic Phenotype (BAP) for people who have a lot of similarities to autism in how they think and act, but yet it does not case them significant problems serious enough to warrant a diagnosis.

It may be a matter of degree -- to get a diagnosis, many doctors want to see significant impairment (I'd have to look it up in the DSM to get the exact wording). It sounds like your son is not having major behavioral issues at school, and you're concerned but not seriously distressed at home. For comparison, my son was kicked out of two preschools, and needed either a full time aide or a special day class in elementary because he was screaming, throwing objects, and running out of the room.

BAP is an informal description, not a dx, and it's hard to find info about it. It might be your son qualifies for the ADHD dx, but only for a BAP description. It may be that he hits a wall later when other kids social development outpaces his, and he qualifies for an ASD dx then.



EmileMulder
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13 Mar 2014, 12:44 am

clinically significant is subjective term. It essentially is anything that causes significant distress, or significantly affects functioning. Again that word significant winds up being subjective. If a psychological problem doesn't meet those criteria (whatever the symptoms), it's not considered a disorder and is not typically considered to be worth treatment. Examples may be a fear of bats for someone who doesn't live near them. This fear wouldn't really affect their lives, and so they wouldn't typically be diagnosed with a phobia; unless they moved somewhere where bats were common.



aann
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13 Mar 2014, 8:01 am

mamabear78 wrote:
Do you guys ever hear or read about people who have more asperger-type brains (thinking, logic, patterns) and communication skills, yet are not necessarily aspergers socially? Or from everything I've described does it sound more like a child who has ADHD? I was just talking to my son and he's so literal. He makes me laugh, but he is so literal and often calls me weird. I take this as a compliment.


Socially your son sounds very much like my son, except yours seems possibly more ASD than mine. Mine was labeled Asperger's, which is now ASD, but we don't need it because he is homeschooled. Mine is also very silly and affectionate when he is happy, and is a very talented artistic.

I bet that parenting him as if he has Asperger's would help you, and it if not, just stop. Read up on parenting Aspies. Make sure he has the environment necessary to excel. Take him seriously - one problem with undxd Aspies is that adults punish rather than understand them. Deal with the symptoms as they arise. Then if you feel the need for a proper dx, get it from a different source and have them use the ADOS.

I hope this helps.



ASDMommyASDKid
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13 Mar 2014, 8:16 am

mamabear78 wrote:
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
It is a spectrum, so he could be on the very mild side, or he could have "traits" but they could maybe not be clinically significant. Being literal is a communication aspect of autism. Do other people have issues with being too literal? I would guess so.


What do you mean by not clinically significant? How many people out there walk around with just the traits I wonder?


To echo what was said: Diagnosis is not just about presentation of x number of y symptom; it is about degree of severity. If it is not found to be a significant impairment, then diagnosis is generally not done. (There are some people who do get misdiagnosed with it, of course as well, as EmileMulder stated. ) I would have no way to quantify how many "aspie like" people there are plus undiagnosed adults, too old to have a diagnose, plus anyone who was too mild to be on anyone's radar or just too mild to get a diagnosis.



Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 13 Mar 2014, 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

mamabear78
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13 Mar 2014, 8:57 am

Thank you all. I'm starting to understand more.

I'm now going to need to get some of the books on parenting. As mentioned above my fear is that I do get upset by behavior that I find to be offensive when I think my DS can't really help it. I need to take a step back, research and try to better understand. Do you guys have a rec on where to go to better understand this notion? And steps to help in parenting?

Thank you all a ton. I feel understood.



zette
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13 Mar 2014, 11:02 am

If you'll PM me your email address, I'll send you the list I've been keeping of books that I found really helpful. My current favorites are:

Lost at School by Ross W Greene
The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene
Parenting Your Asperger Child by Alan Sohn



DW_a_mom
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13 Mar 2014, 11:16 am

I haven't read everything, but remember that the label isn't the child, AND that each of these diagnosis involve multiple traits that aren't always exclusive to the label.

In other words, a child that does not have enough ASD traits to meet an ASD diagnosis could still have multiple ASD traits that are best parented as if he was ASD.

And vice-a-versa.

But also remember that none of these professionals see the full and complete picture like you do.

In the end, you just need to figure out what works best for your unique child, and since it sounds to me like he does have many ASD-type traits, this site could prove useful. Try things out and see what works.

We have several lists of resources in our "stickies," above, so that is a great place to start.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


mamabear78
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14 Mar 2014, 1:02 pm

Thank you guys. I'm going to read the stickies when I have a sec. I truly appreciate the feedback and help. I think this will be my go to resource in that it just sounds more like my son in the realm of many of his behaviors.



mikassyna
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14 Mar 2014, 2:13 pm

mamabear78 wrote:
The silly social as I'm labeling it is the rude jokes he makes that most people don't find funny. He will smile big while saying, "have a terrible day." He thinks it's hilarious to say this to a little girl as she walks in her house. He is smiling huge, thinking he just made a joke. She is walking in the house offended, because jokes are funny...that is mean.

Maybe ADHD kids do these things too. I don't know.


My son does things like this. He goes on his "opposites" tangents. I usually go along with it, because I realize that is how he is trying to draw me into his world. But it is a good opportunity for a teaching moment too. If he does this to someone else who doesn't understand his intention, I might use that time to explain to him that the other person doesn't know that he is joking, and point out the negative expression on their face, and paying to attention to that is important and becomes a good time to say, "Oh I'm sorry, I was just joking with you, I didn't really mean it!" Even if it doesn't help him gain friends, at least it won't gain him any more enemies.



mamabear78
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14 Mar 2014, 3:39 pm

mikassyna wrote:


My son does things like this. He goes on his "opposites" tangents. I usually go along with it, because I realize that is how he is trying to draw me into his world. But it is a good opportunity for a teaching moment too. If he does this to someone else who doesn't understand his intention, I might use that time to explain to him that the other person doesn't know that he is joking, and point out the negative expression on their face, and paying to attention to that is important and becomes a good time to say, "Oh I'm sorry, I was just joking with you, I didn't really mean it!" Even if it doesn't help him gain friends, at least it won't gain him any more enemies.[/quote]

Awesome advice on teachable moment. This is the kind of thing I need. I will do that next time...and that is exactly how to describe many moments with my son when you say "opposites" tangents. I get it.



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14 Mar 2014, 3:47 pm

There are Word Girl episode (PBS Kids) with the villain, Nocan the Contrarian. One of them (I forget which one --has the kids celebrating Opposites Day, and I remember it showing how it is funny when you get it, and not so funny to people who don't know "the game" is going on.