My moto on labels is simple: a label is only as good as what it gets you. Beyond that, it has no meaning at all. So choose, for now, the label that will allow your child the most access to services and accommodations that meet his needs. If the label becomes a hinderance to your child, get it changed. What you know is that your child is on the spectrum, and that alone will help your parentng quite a bit; there are many things that appear to be common across the spectrum in the way of special needs and understanding.
As for your own possible diagnosis, I think it is quite common for parents to look at themselves with new eyes after their child has been diagnosed. In our household, my husband decided that he is probably AS, while I decided I have quite a few traits, but probably not enough to "be" AS. It doesn't really matter at this point; it's more for our own understanding of ourselves and how our child might have gotten the full combination of genes. What we've told people is exactly what I've written above, and people seem to accept that. If someone were to inquire further, I might talk about the fact that AS is believed to come from a combination of genes, which makes it likely that either or both of us have at least some aspects, and I might also note that reaching a definitive conclusion about an adult can be difficult, given how one learns to compensate over the years.
I think the whole discussion was much broader in the early years, when people had a hard time seeing the AS in our child much less anyone else. Once people learn more about the subtleties of the spectrum, they understand your theorizing better. But most of it will always be more interesting to us than to anyone else. I don't go into how I see the possible inheritance in the family unless someone wants to know.
Best of luck to all of you.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
03 Jul 2009, 12:12 am
