I'm a mom and I'm so confused. Aspergers? Non Verbal? Or?

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Your son sounds just like mine(minus the sensory) at that age. Matthew is 11 & two weeks ago was Pre diagnosed with Asperger's. When he was five he was reading at 2nd grade level & now reads at a college level. He LOVE ANIMALS & NATURE & can/could tell you anything about those subjects.
I have been reading EVERYTHING I can about Asperger's since I found out & STILL haven't gotten an appointment @ the Children's Hospital yet.

Some signs I didn't notice from his early yrs were, talking late, walking late, & very clumsy. Always falling down & tripping, causing bruises on his forehead. I just figured & others told me, every child learns at own speed. He eventually did all this so didn't think anything about it. Also potty training, he was almost 4yrs old, but again, I was told boys take longer than girls. He could name EVERY construction equipment/vehicle & knew EVERYTHING about Thomas the Train. Wanted every Thomas & construction toy. AGAIN, Aren't 4yr olds like that?

Matthew is such a intelligent & Loving(toward parents) child, that I NEVER thought anything of his Different Emotional Behaviors, In my mind. & I think my Husbands still, He is so darn smart that there CAN'T BE ANYTHING WRONG. And that's where I am at now. I AM HAVING A HARD TIME ACCEPTING something is 'WRONG OR DISSABILITY". We just always said he was in "Matthew's World" which wasn't BAD just different.

I took him in because he has really gotten bad with patience, anxiety attacks, & not being able to calm himself down. My 16yr old been diagnosed with ADHD & I have ADD so I knew it wasn't that. I really thought he had anxiety & depression as it runs on both sides of family. That's when Doc told me & I got all info I could. Matthew exhibits 98% of symptoms. How could I as a MOM not have known something was WRONG? Probably because I STILL haven't come to the realization something is WRONG with him.

I DO KNOW ONE THING!! I WILL NOT PUT HIM ON MEDICINE!!He does have anxiety, however, meds for that work almost opposite on kids than adults. Also through all my research thus far, I am really thinking My oldest, 16yr, may not have ADHD, & maybe some sort of Emotional Developmental issues. The only thing is he is different from Matthew. He is able to socialize somewhat & has had a best friend & friends since 4th grade. BUT Alex,16, has always been "shy" or "rude" when meeting new people that I know. Also not knowing on his own how to show appreciation or love towards family members, outside of me. Now that he is 16 I am REALLY CONFUSED, because alot of his behavior is typical teenage behavior. UGGGGG I am just so confused!! !

But I will end this on WHAT I AM NOT CONFUSED ABOUT!! ! I LOVE MY 3 KIDS & JUST WANT TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM TO GROW UP & LIVE PRODUCTIVE HAPPY LIVES!! I will not let my own selfish "Mama Bear" feelings & emotions stop me from doing or going ANYWHERE to get them the help they need to achieve that.

Thanks for "listening" & I hope some of what I said can help both of us. Good Luck & I think finding this support group is going to be a great help for both of us. God Bless, Tracy

Congratultions! It sounds like you could have a little Aspie there. My recommendation would be to get a psychologist to do a workup and see exactly where her strengths and weaknesses are and get that diagnosis on paper. You already know a lot but having it all down in writing and signed by somebody with a lot of letters after their name goes a long way with teachers and school administrators. Even if you've got a good situation now you never know when you'll hit an inflexible teacher who just can't accept that things need to be done differently for your child sometimes. My third grader is going through this now with a teacher who just can't get her head around the fact that he's not being difficult, he just has different needs than what she's used to. His previous teachers have always adored him so this is a real eye opener for him.

Sometimes insurance companies will drop you if you have certain diagnoses. You should make sure that you aren't vulnerable to that before getting her tested. In some states it's illegal to do that and hopefully that will soon be the case everywhere.