Your Child is Awful!

Post Reply New Topic

LOL my little guy has scratched and clawed his therapists, thrown nails at one (I'd like to see that), and bitten them and also chomped on one girls fingernail so hard it went black and came off (I felt really bad about that actually ). They know what they're up for, he doesn't really understand anything, while they do.

I really don't doubt my son was a little bit difficult, but he is four. Autism or not, he is a child and I think certain behaviors are typical of most children. Hitting/Scratching/Biting, toy throwing, crying and defiance seem to be standard of most children are some point in their lives. Although I don't think the babysitter fabricated everything she said (she may have exaggerated), I find it ridiculous that she could not tolerate and handle a four year old. Her main thing was she has her own baby to protect and my son throwing stuff was unacceptable. Well, I would ask, if there was something around that he could throw that could potentially break something or hurt the baby, why didn't you remove that from the situation? Kids push buttons. They touch things they aren't supposed to. As adults and caregivers, our children's safety is our responsibility. Rules and safety are left up to the adult, not the child. For someone with a supposed decade of child care experience, I find it hard to believe that my son is the one child who pushed her over the edge.

When I first met with her, I explained that Nathan has PDD-NOS and I talked to her about his behavior and his likes and dislikes. I told her the things he enjoys and the things he doesn't like and suggested ways to deal with certain situations she might encounter. I honestly think that she totally disregarded anything I said and did whatever she wanted. I highly doubt she has had any of the experience with "special needs children" she claims to have had. I am not a caregiver and I know it must be difficult to watch someone else's kid especially when they are not on their best behavior, but if you can't handle children or break at the first sign of misbehavior, perhaps you should choose a different career path. This entire ordeal has been beyond frustrating for me and it has been very discouraging. I think I may do as some of you have suggested and look for caretakers who are professional and who I can verify have worked with Autistic children.

When I was 18 I use to watch my two cousins when they were little I would rough house with them until they were too tired to misbehave or I kept them busy playing battleship or connect four. I bet the babysitter was too busy texting her friends or playing around online to show any attention to the kid so the kid misbehaved for attention. How hard is it to play with a kid to keep him busy?

Todesking, I agree with what you said about her probably texting or playing on the Internet. Before I make my next point, let me state that I know all parents think their baby is the greatest and we gloat and stare at them in awe, and see them as 100% perfect. I did it myself (and I still think my son is the greatest ). BUT...I have an account on a Social Networking site and this babysitter is one of my "friends" through that site. This girl has something around one thousand pictures of her four month old, video after video of her baby and does those annoying status updates several times a day, always saying something about how she has the best baby in the world and how... I don't know, just excessive gloating about her baby. Basically, she is constantly online. It literally seems like every time I go to check my mail or something (maybe twice or three times a day) she is online regardless of what time it is. Mind you, this is her first child so she is probably just doing the mommy thing, but it is all she has to talk about. But even with all of the care a baby needs, she finds time to be online 12 hours a day. What it comes down to is I wouldn't be too surprised to find out that her child is the first child she has been around regularly and is the extent of her babysitting experience.

Anyhow, I remember always saying that Nathan was such an easy baby and was more behaved than other babies, but he was just that.... a baby! Yes, babies need more attention than young children and that can be exhausting, however all they do is eat and sleep for the most part. Feed them and change their diapers and they are usually set. Now, I ask you to look at that same child when they hit about three years old and I think it might be hard to convince others that this is the perfect, best tempered child there is.

In regards to what you said about rough housing and keeping kids busy, Todesking, I also agree. All kids need something to keep them busy, something to hold their attention. They need something to entertain them. Nathan does not watch TV and doesn't particularly like to color. He is more into playing the computer (which we gave to the babysitter for him; the laptop that is), listening to music or playing outside. I have a lingering feeling that the babysitter was probably sitting on her computer, uploading pictures and videos of her own baby, or that she was so wrapped up in her own stuff that she neglected to pay attention to Nathan. That would explain why he would have lashed out. Still, I don't think her just throwing her hands up and having a fit over his behavior was warranted. I have seen some bad kids in my day, but I have yet to encounter one I couldn't handle. Kids stress me out, but I have never lost my cool the way this girl did.

I remember when I was about 15 and the people down the street from us adopted a 6 month old baby. When she was about 8 or 9 months old, they went out for the first time to a family member's wedding. I really think they wouldn't have gone had it not been a pretty special event. They asked me to babysit. Well, that little girl was happy for a while but then she got upset. I tried everything i could think of, feeding, changing, rocking reading walking singing... She cried for about 3 hours without stopping. I was sure glad when they got home but I held it together. I have to think that if a teenager could handle a tough situation a grown woman ought to be able to keep her cool for a couple of hours with a 4 yo.

Maybe he has super-powers you aren't yet aware of...

The babysitter sounds like a totally incompetent piece of crap. I feel really mad on your behalf that you ended up with a babysitter like that and that everything blew up the way it did. Your child is not an awful child; the babysitter is the awful one. Definitely make a complaint.

lol, that was NOT my infant!

sorry, a little off-topic, but I could so NOT relate. Mine has gotten easier over time; his being to communicate all his odd needs helped a lot. And learning about the AS. Everyone adored him as an infant, but they were all smart enough to figure out that caring for him would not be a walk in the park. I learned very very early on, as a result, to invest in my caregivers developing a real relationship with him.

My daughter as more like your son as an infant, though.

Maybe you could check at your son's daycare to see if they could recommend someone.

Sorry you had to go through that, but hopefully, someone will show up that can give you a break from time to time!

Sounds to me like she's a liar... nobody who had minded children for ten years would have never experienced that kind of behaviour before. Any child can get upset, throw things, or scratch someone. It's not nice, but it's par for the course.

You need to take a deep breath, and next time you have a break, try and get a sitter who your son actually knows, perhaps someone who assists at his daycare. That way it's a familiar face for him, and someone who knows his personality.

Perhaps your son was badly behaved, but if so it was nothing an experienced sitter would not have experienced already... and the constant stream of abusive texts was really unnecessary.

Complain to the agency, and explain that this ruined not only "date night" but has left you unhappy with their service, and unlikely to use them again, unless they can absolutely assure you that their sitters genuinely have the experience they claim.

I'm really annoyed on your behalf... I know how I would feel.

If I can look after my cousins kids (who are all around that age) for hours at a time, singly or in groups without problems as an aspie with relatively little childcare experience, then surely that experienced babysitter could handle an aspie kid for the time it takes to watch a movie. You should make them remove her from the listings as a fraud. By the way I don't have kids myself, but I find the parents discussion valuable for trying to understand my parents.

Maybe your kid was awful by her standards, but she was awful by yours. I'd probably say something curt about it being unfortunate that she didn't have the skills to manage a special-needs child.

I know how hard my friends with NT kids find it to get child care that they like, trust, and can reliably get. I can't imagine how much of a challenge it is when your kid is special. Have you tried contacting any nearby universities with ECE programs? There might be a lot of students working on those skills who would love to have the opportunity to babysit a child to get practical experience handling different kinds of issues. That way, you'd get a sitter who is genuinely interested in finding the best ways to interact with your kid... and may want your reference for future job or scholarship applications.