Ive always known something was different about my baby....

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My son can't read 'All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome' without breaking into a fountain of tears for "those poor little kittens." We have heaps of empathy, just not the way many NT people want us to. Your daughter sounds like a spectrum child.

Why push imaginative play if she is interested in flowers? You know something interesting? If she were not a spectrum "suspect", the vast majority of people in the world would suggest her interest and knowledge about different flowers shows a genius level ability. Why not a book on identifying wildflowers in your area as a gift? Why not do some botany experiments like learning about seeds and/or learning the parts of flowers, different leaf types and petal structure? You could have an expert botanist or famous hybrid creator there on your hands. Montessori has some great materials for this, perfect for her age as well. If you google Montessori nomenclature plant parts you will find a lot of stuff out there.

There are ways to engage her within her field of interest and expand on that, is what I'm saying. I used computer games to teach my son to read. I used his "perseveration" about spiders to branch out into spider anatomy and then from there into human anatomy, etc., etc.

I don't know where you are but we were dismissed when my son 18 months by a GP and again by a GP and specialist when he was two and a half (and "issues were raised" at his daycare). He wasn't diagnosed until he was 7, nearly eight years old. I wish I had known what was going on sooner because those years are gone. My son did all those things you've posted last, too, but by the time he was six it was very obvious he was not developing the way his peers were. That's just my experience. Also yes, if you do decide to go through with it, see a specialist who deals with autism specifically.

Oh and just for the record and so you know, autistic people always get a label. If it's not autism spectrum disorder it is "weird", "lazy", "unmotivated," "strange," "freak," "misfit," "too intense," "odd," or something else entirely. It's never usually a nice label. I'm sure there are a myriad of other labels that folks here could share with you that are much worse than Asperger Syndrome or Autism that many of us have received in life.

I agree with pyschohist, the doctor sounds sensible. Your concerns haven't been dismissed; it kind of sounds like you've been told you have time, and time will make things clearer. I can't argue with that; my son was diagnosed at 7 and while it would have been nice to know earlier, it wouldn't have changed anything in our unique case. I often tell parents here that the best therapy you can give a young child is the ability to be loved as they are for who they are and let them learn and explore in their own way. They will lose some of that freedom soon enough.

A parents love and patience is the best nurture a child can receive. This week gone by I've been giving her so much more attention and helping herewith her speech (helping her pronounce words and correcting her mistakes in a fun way) and it's unbelievable but she is talking in full sentences now and for the first time asked me a question today...and listened to the answer. She is also on her way to correcting the pronoun reversal. I am pleases with her ability to learn so fast and it's been a fun and bonding time for us...more one on one attention and she is showing me much more affection also. I think she felt very left out after the birth of my new baby and I'm glad we are staring to share some nice time together

ok i feel its time to post some advice. i am a 14 year old with AS. both of my parents have AS so i get plenty of support and understanding from them. First of all, you must not panic about your child. doing so will drag you down into a cycle of grief and your child's reaction to your grief which will end up in a very bad place... you must also be calm to make the important decisions that you need to make to care for your child. you must be careful what treatments your child gets. autism is a social disorder, therefore any treatment that does not have to do with treating social skills is quackery. if your child complains about treatment or nurseries it would be best to remove your kid from what could be a bad situation. medication for autism is a bad idea in most cases. trying to remove traits of autism can also be a bad idea. for example, stimming is a common trait of autistics and aspergers syndrome people. autistic people stim to cope with stress and sometimes they may do it for fun. when this trait is removed the autistic person will not be able to cope with stress and they will go insane from depression and anxiety. the biggest advice i would give you is to try to bring up your child normally except to keep social occasions like school, parties, and friends in mind. your kid may need lime to rest and calm down after school or any other social thing. also, this forum is a good way to learn about how autistics think. check out everything about politics, social stuff, depression, and opinions. the kids and adolescents forums are a good place for you to learn about stuff too.

Thank you for your great advice
Its really helpful...
Should I avoid social situations with her? She finds it quite stressful ...will she get used to it with time? She likes the park but I find children look at her a bit strangely due to the hand flapping

Your daughter is still very young. From how you have described her, she does sound like she has many AS traits. However, her speech is coming along and she is having some interaction with other kids. I think your doctor is right to wait a bit. Some of these things could even out over time. But at least you have it in the back of your mind. If she does get diagnosed, then you won't be thrown for a total loop, but I think waiting until she starts pre-school will be fine. Really the main early intervention that would be done for her at this point would be speech therapy, and it sounds like she is doing okay with speech, and she could really begin to blossom in that area. I have a friend whose daughter is almost 3, and her speech seems very delayed to me, but she doesn't seem autistic at all to me. So you really just never know.

Keep coming here if you need support or advice while you are waiting it out. We are here for you......Just try to enjoy her toddlerhood. It will only come once! I know it is hard, I went through the same thing with my son.

As far as social outings, I would definitely try to take her places as much as she will tolerate. Just take it in small doses if she seems overwhelmed. I know it hurts when other kids look at your daughter when she is flapping her hands. My son does it too. Your daughter is still so young though, and many NT kids will flap hands at this age when excited.

Hello all
I thought I'd share some updates
My daughter had her third birthday and we held a small party with a about30 Guests (not to overwhelm her) she is improving and learning to blend as time passes...she didn't cry when any of he guests arrived...which was a usual occurrnce before. She played with the other children on the bouncy castle and seemed to enjoy herself . She didn't have a melt down and at the end of the evening! my friend and I took her out in the stroller for a quiet walk where she would usually get overwhelmed bythe flowers outside and have a meltdown but she didn't and also she has also started to allow us to tie her hair up.Which was another problem ...the flower obsesssion has eased and no longer causes distressing disruptions but she is now interested in drawing roses... thousands of them! and teaching herself letters and numbers Which she has now learned and loves writing letters. Pronoun reversal is still there but half of the time is correct. Her stranger anxiety has really improved greatly but she still has terrible separation anxiety. Gets very distressed if I leave the room has to follow. She enjoys visiting new places but has a terrible fear of hand dryers. she has some obsessions still present and can't stand willy clothes or blankets...I'd say life is easier for us now With the decreased stranger anxiety and less flower obsession...she has got into a nursery which specialises in speech delays and limited socialised children...but is still for nt kids

Sorry I ment to say woolly clothes damn auto correct lol she will start nursery in September I hope se doesn't find it too overwhelming ...3 hours per day. I will keep a close eye on her