My son is newly diagnosed and I need all the Help I can get.

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Thanks for your response momsparky. I should explain with the communication issue. It's not that he doesn't understand what I am telling him to do, it's that he will ignore me the first 4-5 times I call his name and then if I change the tone of my voice, like I am getting angry, he will turn around. If my husbands calls his name sternly, he will respond. But if I just call him in my regular voice, he will ignore me. He now asks for something in the form of a question. He will say, "Do you want orange juice?" and then I will ask him if he wants orange juice, then he will say, "I want orange juice". He wasn't even doing this 2 weeks ago. But he was doing better, 8 months ago. He told his father this morning, unpromted that he likes to swing. So there are things he can say, unprompted. We don't really need pictures right now because I can understand him, even though his language is jumbled.

Regard getting him engaged, that's a little different. He has to be interested. So, he likes to read and will happily get a book and bring it to me for me to read it, if I tell him to get the book. Otherwise, he will try to read the book himself. He isn't bothered though if I pick up his book while he is reading it to read with him or do something else. He has no issues with transitioning or doing something new, or going to somewhere new or even meeting complete strangers. In fact, he seems to like it. I am not sure if that is just the baby in him.

If he is not too interested, I have to really work to keep him engaged. And, I think he only goes along with it because I get so excited when I try to engage it. He is a laugher and it's pretty easy to get him to crack up. I think what throws people off is when he laughs, his whole face lights up.

But even with all of that, when we go to someone's house, he gets obsessed with the TV, always pressing the buttons and always wants to play with their light switch. Total contradiction.

Thanks for your reply and you are absolutely right, I know absolutely nothing about autism. Up until 2 weeks ago, I thought my son's language skills were poor and he would outgrow it. The pedi never noticed anything. It was my sister's SIL who is a teacher who noticed something and then we all tried to remember when was the first time we noticed anything different (which was about the same time his baby sister was born). Until then, I had only met one non-verbal autistic child who had a lot of other developmental issues.

I am trying to learn all I can now. We have only been dealing with this revelation for 2 weeks so we are no where near being informed about what autism is all about. I feel like I get a better understanding of what is going on when I hear other people's stories and share my son's story. What I don't see in my son is the overstimulation that I read so much about. His 2 main moods are happy or mellow which a few moments of being upset. I guess I was expecting a little more emotional volatility or the other extreme where he would just shut down.

I also don't know if it's because he sings a lot. He sings a lot for a 3 year old. Some songs are from his shows, others are ones he made up. Maybe his singing is his stimulation and that keeps him leveled? I know it sounds out there but I can only tell you what I see. I have been home with him everyday for the past 2 weeks (I normally go into the office 3 days a week) and I a just not seeing the voilent tantrums.

Also, alot of what I am looking for is what the other websites says is the signs of autism. But also, they never tell you how many symptons they need to qualify. I used to have an oral fixation, like my son, which I outgrew (I always need to have a lollipop, now it's gum). I am going to get another opinion at my appt in April. This is all so new and confusing.

I really understand where you're coming from: we got our first diagnosis of autism from the school at the end of 1st grade, and it made absolutely no sense to us at all: we were thinking mood disorder or something else, because it really seemed like my son could communicate well. We finally got a full ADOS when DS was 10, and that was done by a group that offered a very detailed explanation of where his deficits and strengths were and what each one meant (that piece is critical. Make sure your neurologist isn't the type who sticks a label on and goes away - which is what the school did to us.)

The thing to remember is that each child is an individual, and they all have their own unique take on things. One of the issues I have with the current DSM mess is that kids with only 1 or 2 symptoms still need help, even if they don't qualify for the autism label. There are also lots of misconceptions about autism, the biggest one (and the one I had) being that it comes as a very specific package of stuff that is constant all of the time.

Thanks for your reply momsparky. I actually just did a couple tests with him, based off your reponse. I spoke to him with regular voice and asked him to do a few things and he understod what I wanted him to do, and did it, however, on his way, he got distracted by the window handle and i had to remind him, in my regular voice, and he was able to do it.

Where he doesn't respond is, when I call his name. Sometimes when I call his name several times, he doesn't respond. But other times, he comes running to me. He is also very very slow when it comes to putting on his shoes and socks. The PT says I should encourage him to do that for himself. The neurologist did a test with him by jingling some keys behind him and he was indifferent. When he turned on the flash light, he was hooked and was even trying to examing the doctor with it.

So what I am trying to say is his communication is specific to his name and following the directions of some people. He followed the directions of the neurologist, but not the psychologist or speach therapist. Maybe it was the difference in approach.

He definitely has problems following tasks with multiple steps. Would pictures help with that? So he would know what to do next by cataloging the pictures?

I checked out hyperfocus and if came up with ADHD. There are 3 things which I see in my son. The hyperfocus, him not sleeping as much as he should, and his impulsiveness. He will run away from us at the drop of a hat. When we are outside, he seems to always be moving (unless he is staring at the plane or cars passing by), but when we are inside, he is atually pretty average, when it comes to his activity level. He can easily sit for meals or for me to read a book to him or even to play with the puzzle.

Regarding LKS, the neurologist does want to do a 24 hour EEG, maybe he was thinking that too. Also, today he has been doing some imaginative play with feeding the baby and talking to his Elmo toy.

Another thing to remember is that it's just autism. It's not the end of the world.

as far as insurance, the best person I have found to ask was the person who handles referrals at my pediatrician's office.... a lot of insurance companies do not cover ABA therapy even with diagnosis, but might still cover speech or OT under ASD or another diagnosis.... our school does an excellent job with pragmatic speech, so we stopped seeing our outside speech therapist...

Thanks for the info.

I have Aetna and it sucks! they said they would pay if it had a "finite" date. Basically, no long term speech therapy, OT, etc. The diagnosis of autism automatically denies treatment. they have a list of what treatment they will pay for with a diagnosis of autism and none of them is any therapy. I will have to see if my husband's insurance is any better.

On a positive note, my son finally answered "My name is ..." which we have been working on for the past 2 weeks. He also has worn a short sleeve shirt for 2 days. Yesterday I had to console him for about 5 minutes. This morning, he cried for about 1 minute. I have been reading a alot about Temple Gradin and I am taking a lot of her advice.

Momofthree - if you're in the US, check your State's Department of Human Services website and see if they have any kind of health insurance for kids with underinsured parents. You can often qualify even if you have family insurance; these plans usually cover autism treatments.

The other thing I did was to call an ABA therapy provider in our area to ask what insurance generally covers ABA therapy. If I had not called them, then I would have never known that my insurance has a supplemental insurance plan to cover therapy, because the insurance company never mentioned it. I don't know if this is at all common with other insurances. Some states mandate coverage, but I don't know a lot about this... all I know is that we are on a border with another state that mandates coverage.