A Parent with Resentment Issues

Post Reply New Topic

I work in education and everyday I see the products of over protective helicopter parents come through the doors. They are like timid deer, they can do very little for themselves, sometimes have mommy call the professor, and are generally ill suited for the world.

Parents need to give kids independence, let them explore, make mistakes and learn. If he can do it, he needs to be pushed to do it, otherwise he will won't.

I wasn't suggesting she was overprotective at all. I mentioned that because of my own past situation and the struggle that I had to be able to be independent because of my mother. It took me 18 years to achieve escape velocity, and I got it by marrying an abusive idiot which thankfully didn't last.

I think the OP has simply fallen into this pattern with her son and now feels trapped and doesn't know the right way to get out of it. I think if she were overprotective she wouldn't be very concerned with wanting a life of her own now, she would still be focused solely on taking care of him.

But you are correct about some parents. It happens with NT kids as well as spectrum kids and healthy kids as well as physically ill kids. It can happen to anybody.

I think that because she recognizes that this isn't right and wants to change it, she's in much better shape than someone who just sighs and says "It's what I have to do" and puts everything else but the kid aside. I think she will figure out a way to do this, although pushing him to independence may take some time, and she may feel horribly guilty at times, doing it. It's worth it though, for his sake and hers.