Aspies: Would you teach your children about Santa Claus?

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I wouldnt explicitly teach about Santa Clause, since Santa Clause is Christ-Angels partner, that is responsible for bringing the gifts to the kids of north america. But I dont see anything bad about telling my small future kids about the Christ-Angel, bringing the Spirit of Christmas and presents for the nice kids.

I see nothing bad about, and it will be ruined soon enough, when the kids go to kindergarten and get informed by other kids who got informed by their latter siblings, ...

Personal View: No I would not

I asked my 6 year old sister what christmas is about, and she said: Toys and Santa.

As a devout christian I hold Christmas to be sacred, (and since I plan on being a pastor someday) I would give my children presents, put up a tree, etc. But Santa Claus is taking it a little too far.

I don't lie to a child, children live what they learn.

No, I wouldn't tell them one thing or the other about Santa until they asked. For one I am not strictly speaking a Christian, I put up a tree because it is actually an old pagan practice that got hijacked. And for another thing doesn't it teach that deceit is acceptable, at least if you hold a position of power?

Not sure I understand the question. Do you mean telling your kids there's a real Santa, or explaining there really isn't (though a lot of kids believe it?)

Just whether or not you lead them to believe in a fat old man at the Magnetic North Pole

You know, in the past before I had kids I'd have said yes, but now that I have kids I do feel like I am lying to them.

Kids are 5 (ASD/non verbal) and 3 (NT.)

I tried telling them about Santa last year. I remember recently I picked up one Christmas toy and said "Hey remember, Santa brought this?" and the 3-year-old said, "That's not from Santa, it's from a store."

So anyway I will probably continue with the Santa thing mainly because it's a tradition in the culture I grew up in but I am not planning to push it if they start really questioning me about it.

As for religion I grew up Catholic but don't practice any religion at all anymore.

No wonder Santa doesn't exist, you killed him!

I was pretty coy with my kids and it worked out really well. My Aspie son believed for a while, it would have been pretty hard to escape and why would you want a child trying to talk all their friends out of Santa Clause? But he got suspicious relatively fast and I never lied to him - I just kept playing coy. The concept to me is that Santa Clause is, as an idea, very real. But is he a man in a red suit who delivers gifts to children all over the world? No. He is you and me and everyone who engages in the spirit of Christmas.

So I tended to ask my son questions back that would eventually lead him to conclude the above. He never felt lied to, and as he figured out the truth he fully engaged with the idea that while maybe most magic is slight of hand by people in this world, it is still a really cool and fun thing.

He is still wondering how I get the special Santa presents wrapped and under the tree. Just one each, because Santa wouldn't give more gifts to rich kids than poor ones. The rest of the gifts have always been from us. That piece of "magic" still drives my kids nuts. They have scoured the house for the special Santa paper and never found it.

Because in a way, magic is real

I love that they haven't solved this one little thing yet.

As I explained above, you don't have to lie. And, believe me, you do NOT want your child being the one telling the other kids Santa Clause is not real. The tradition is way too special to so many families. It isn't like you can escape this tradition just by "not" teaching it; your children will ask and you need to have an answer that isn't going to turn them into social pariahs.

As for making sure children understand what Christmas is really about, that isn't difficult. You follow the story line that Christmas as the birth of Christ came first, and the whole Santa giving presents on that day thing came later. Which is consistent with all the cute cartoons and movies about Santa. Then place your nativity and other religious decorations front and center in your home, instead of the tree and gifts.

There was a real Santa Clause, you know. Saint Nicholas, from Asia Minor I think it was. Obviously he took on quite a few changes over the years, including a whole lot of traits from Norse mythology, but he still was originally inspired by the generosity of a real person. If you want to raise giving children, who are generous with others, the stories are worth sharing. My kids saw the inconsistencies in the stories pretty fast, and that opened the door to play the coy game. We all had a whole lot of fun with it and, more importantly, I never lied about anything, and my children know it.

PS - My son is about your age, 16, but has no interest in posting on message boards. He's into designing games, Boy Scouts (he is an Eagle), Acting (all the school plays), and Magic (as in the game).

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 06 Nov 2013, 12:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I can offer you our middle european christ-angel, that was the one, bringing the message of Jesus birth to the shepherds and so became the deliverer of the spirit and message of christmas = the saviour is born, which he brings every year again to the humans by visiting them on christs eve, bringing them the message of hope into their homes.

I think it fits a bit better to the regular christmas, then the old fat guy. ^^ Still, because of all the US media and series, it was necessary to integrate the not so christian Santa Clause guy into the story. As written above, most people tell their children simply, that the guy is responsible for the north America department. XD

St Nick was a Moor. (So if I do put up Santa Pictures Christmas, I'm putting up Black Santa)

I just don't want to teach my kids that because, as a future minister, I want my children to grow up in a religious setting. I'm not gonna take the fun out of christmas, I just want to take it back a few decades. Stringing cranberries on a tree, hanging stockings, etc.

I dont like the commercialization of what, for nearly 2 millenia, was a sacred holiday

That is so sweet

Just be mindful of all that your children will encounter that you cannot control, but need to prepare them for. Talk about the spirit of giving, and the wise men, and how all that eventually led to today's Santa stories, but leave it short of telling them Santa does not exist because, as I noted, you don't want them blurting that out to kids who believe. That can all lead back to discussion of how we're a country of all sorts of backgrounds and beliefs, and how you have to respect everyone else's choices. Just my suggestion

PS - Something else you should be a aware of is that kids do have a strong need to conform to their peers, and while teaching them to care less is a good thing, you have to be careful of going too far, and being too different. If you read our "raised by an Asperger's parent" thread you will see a slew of complaints, resentment and even life-long anger against ASD parents who insisted they knew better and the child's requests and desires were silly. Remember this: what a person wants is NEVER silly to them, and if no real harm can come from giving it to them at least in some small way, then its time for the parent to stop being stubborn trying to shove their ideas onto the kids. This whole area of how to celebrate Christmas is going to fall into one of those not worth being overly stubborn about boxes. Yes, always keep Christ at the center, because that IS an important value, but if you find the kids sulking about some of your other ideas, or wanting to have a rip-roaring-over-the-top-Christmas JUST once - then its time to let go. Hopefully you won't have to as kids really can appreciate the simpler things (mine honestly do), but keep your eyes open. Don't let yourself get too locked into your own ideas of how things should be that you stop paying attention to what your children actually need. That seems to be greatest danger ASD parents face, not being able to see and adjust.

I'm religious, or spiritual, or whatever, though not precisely Christian exactly.

Santa Claus and the commercial mythology drive me completely and totally crackers. I HATE it. I have told my kids the story of Christ's Mass over and over and over-- generally I can't even get the Holy Family to Bethlehem before they're asking about Santa Claus.

I don't ever remember not knowing that "Santa Claus" was a story, that Christmas presents came from Daddy, and that the "Santa list" was made out every year because Daddy really, really hated guessing at presents. I was, in fact, pretty darn glad when we quit doing the whole Christmas gift exchange hoopla sometime in high school, and started just enjoying time together and hanging out with family.

There's another Saint Alan Story: When I was a teenager, I got really bent out of shape about the Santa Claus Lie. So, I'm fairly certain to shut me up and keep the peace with the Santa Claus believers, Daddy explained this: "Santa Claus IS real. It's a feeling in your heart, what makes you want to give stuff to people. Some people choose to symbolize that as a jolly fat man in a red suit. That's all. So don't let your alligator mouth *towel snap* overload your hummingbird ass, and let 'em alone. Can I steal a devilled egg?"

I did not teach my older three Santa Claus, and I won't teach it to the baby either. So why is it that I can't get through the Nativity story without hearing about the Jolly Fat Man in the Red Suit?? Three words: MOTHER-IN-LAW.

I guarantee that SOMEONE will be more than happy to handle the kids' education in the cultural mythology of the holiday season. I smile and nod, and then after the season is over I explain, AGAIN, that we're celebrating the Birth of Christ (even though he was probably born in the spring) and the joyous fact that we still have family to get together with for the holidays.

I'm sure I'll get it through their heads some fine day. That fine day is probably quite distant, however, because they DO seem to enjoy participating in the cultural mythology, and the folks do seem to greatly enjoy sharing the Santa delusion. Who am I to take the NORAD Santa Tracker from an enthusiastic 6-year-old??

So I will shut up, devil the eggs, and not let my alligator mouth overload my hummingbird ass.

Paraphrased from "On the Banks of Plum Creek," by Laura Ingalls Wilder:

"Laura had a terrible thought. 'Ma? Santa WILL come, won't he?'

'Yes, Laura. Santa will come. You're old enough now, Laura, to know that Santa can't possibly be everywhere around the world in just one night.'

'Yes, Ma.'

'Well, Laura, Santa Clause is everywhere, and every day. Santa Claus is the feeling in our hearts that makes us want to make others only glad. Whenever someone is unselfish, Laura, that is Santa Claus.'"

I remember there was a Jehovah's Witness kid in our class who every year tried to convince us all that there was no Santa. We told him he was crazy.

Well it's not like my kids can blurt it out in school, I'm going to homeschool my children



I understand that, but teaching them to believe in Santa is different from honoring their wishes. Personally, I would have preferred that my mother had not taught me about Santa.



...I get the feeling that you're calling me lazy

I'm really not much of a game person, or a scout. But I am an actor, I'll be doing my 8th play soon, in only two weeks ( ) AND I've been on a game show