Touching private parts
I love it, too. I do think the series began badly, with all the characters (including Penny, who I found obnoxious for most of the first season) being simple stereotypes. It's become such an insightful, affectionate look at nerd culture, though. I mean, there was actually an episode where the guys dressed as Star Trek characters for a convention. When have the main characters of ANY tv show done that before? My only *tiny* complaint is that I wish there was a "word nerd" character. Not all nerds are scientists. I suppose the comic shop owner sort of fills that niche.
(Sorry, TBS has been showing A LOT of BBT lately, and I've probably been watching too much!)
I love it, too. I do think the series began badly, with all the characters (including Penny, who I found obnoxious for most of the first season) being simple stereotypes. It's become such an insightful, affectionate look at nerd culture, though. I mean, there was actually an episode where the guys dressed as Star Trek characters for a convention. When have the main characters of ANY tv show done that before? My only *tiny* complaint is that I wish there was a "word nerd" character. Not all nerds are scientists. I suppose the comic shop owner sort of fills that niche.
(Sorry, TBS has been showing A LOT of BBT lately, and I've probably been watching too much!)
I have been watching a lot of BBT on TBS, too.
They don't respect other fields very much, (especially Sheldon) so it does make sense that they don't know many non-scientists. I actually like that Bernadette and Amy are also scientists, instead of stereotyping the women into the humanities.
The do have random characters the they reference like the "French Literature" PH.d that Sheldon said Leonard knew when Penny was asking if Leonard only dated geniuses. Also in the episode where Raj convinces Sheldon to go to the graduate school mixer, and he is the "wing man" they meet up with women from the Lit department, I think.
Yeah, I have been watching this show way too much. LOL
KingdomOfRats
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it depends on the individual on the spectrum rather than it being a definite just because its naturaly expected.
although different gender;am LFA and have never done that or felt need to,have got no sexuality development at all due to ID and extreme asexuality.
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It sounds like he may be in the pre-puberty phase but it's difficult to tell. My own son has had touching his privates as a stimming/sensory issue for quite awhile now (started as a baby actually). He is 8 right now. He tells me he does it because his underwear or privates don't feel right but changing his underwear/clothing has had no effect. He tends to do it when he's anxious or in the spotlight too which makes it worse. I can't tell you how many baseball games I've had to tell him to keep his hands away. He's so high functioning no one knows about his AS and I don't tell anyone unless I have to for fear of a label (people are really judgmental and mean in our school district) so I frequently get asked by parents why he's doing something including this. I just tell them he has an itch or something and blow it off.
One thing I DID find as a stimming thing is that his stims may come and go and vary. This year he didn't "adjust" himself as much at baseball and I didn't understand why until I asked him not to wear a necklace that he had from school because it had a lot of weight to it and I was worried it would fall off, hit him in the face while he was running or he would lose it (has a lot of sentimental value to him). Lo and behold, the moment he took it off he was back to grabbing himself again. The necklace had somehow reduced his urge to stim in that way. After that, I let him wear the necklace again lol. He has a couple of rubber bracelets too that seem to keep him from stimming too much. Just a thought, maybe you could try a replacement behavior? We've had some success with that.
My son discovered his private parts as a toddler and pretty much never lost interest, as far as I know. We used to joke in the mom's group about this "phase" and when it would end ("never"). Even the preschool had a protocol for hands in pants.
So, the rules:
In private only.
Wash your hands afterwards, before touching anything else.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
Thanks for your responses. I haven't noticed him touching himself too much in the last few weeks. I am wondering if maybe he was just bored and was doing it more as a stimming thing. We went on a trip out of town and had a lot of excitement, and I didn't notice him doing it at all during the trip.
If anything, it has made me realize that I need to start reading up on puberty while I still have time. As with all things in ASD, I have no idea what to expect. There certainly isn't a road map for parenting a child on the spectrum, and some days I feel completely inadequate at facing the challenge. All I know is that I love my son and am committed to doing the best I can for him.
I think that most boys play with their private parts. I remember that even before puberty (when it started "working") touching it just felt good. There were no sexual feelings, it's just that the penis is sensitive before puberty too.
During puberty boys usually get a wet dream, or after playing leave some "evidence". I think I was 12 or so when it started working.
Erections also do not necessarily mean that a guy is having erotic thoughts. They happen randomly, also (and especially) during sleep. People often wake up with what they call morning wood.
m 50, single Mom of 3. My youngest is hi function autistic. He lives in grp home but stays w/ me several days in a row several times a month. Recently noticed him fondling/rubbing on his penis almost non stop when he's sitting down on laptop or tv & the 1st thing he does when he lies down at nite. I know it's perfectly natural to have sex drive but should i be concerned? And is he masturbating if there's no ejaculation? And cuz of his autism it's difficult to know what to say to him, if anything at all? & he doesn't talk much. Idk. ..it sounds silly now I've written this all out. Im probably over reacting/making too much of this? He's my baby and it's just something I've never dealt w/ b4...if any of u have advice or comment i would like tohear it. Ty
I think this thread probably will answer many of your concerns. I don't know how old your son is other than that he is prepubescent. He needs to learn to keep it private, obviously but otherwise there is nothing wrong or necessarily unusual. It may not be sexual, so much as a stim, or it just fells good without him having sexual thoughts. It could even be a scientific adventure in the cause and effect of erections. If I were a little a boy, I could see thinking that is pretty cool trick.
Is this an issue at the group home, and why is he in one, if I may ask? HFA is a spectrum in and of itself, so if we know what his specific communication challenges are it may help us give you more specific help about how to word the privacy thing. The basic way would be something like "penises are for private," (and then redirect him to a private space); but depending on what his intellectual/emotional/receptive language skills are, that might be too childish an approach. You want to tailor it to his level.
Thank you for responding ASD Mom (btw...this is the very 1st time I've ever "blogged"). You're right..i neglected to note my son's age. He is 20 1/2 & he's living in a group home for two reasons: He had terrible violent behaviors beginning at age 4 - 5 and he became too large to physically restrain him and the other reason being single & 2other children i was raising alone, i had no other option being an RN w/ class schedules and 12 hrs shifts there was no consistency in our daily routine. He became more manageable when placed on a regular daily routine and with staff who were better equipped/trained to manage his behaviors (also had behavior specialist at grp home).
And you are right...he is likely only enjoying the sensations w/o sexual fantasies. He only does it at home and the grp home hasn't mentioned anything about it. He isn't hurting anyone nor is he being overly consumed by it; therefore i believe i will let it go & observe for a minute.
Again i thank you for your timely & generous advice!
have a very nice evening (or day....)
Jacqui
And you are right...he is likely only enjoying the sensations w/o sexual fantasies. He only does it at home and the grp home hasn't mentioned anything about it. He isn't hurting anyone nor is he being overly consumed by it; therefore i believe i will let it go & observe for a minute.
Again i thank you for your timely & generous advice!
Jacqui
Jacqui,
Based on your prior post I inferred a younger age. I would guess that at 20 he may also be having sexual feelings. Some people are asexual, so I do not want to make a blanket statement about that. Hopefully you get frequent updates on what is going on there. If everything is going well and he is happy, that is the main thing. I would try not to worry.
I have two sons. Oldest is 10 and the youngest recently turned 8 and has a formal ASD diagnosis. Both started at probably around age 6ish. It's completely normal in both ASD and non-ASD kids. You simply need to impart that they are not to touch themselves in public. Personally I've approached it from the standpoint of needing to "adjust yourself". Though I know it can and often is more than that it makes it less embarrassing for the boys to discuss it in those terms. The difficulty is in when this becomes a fixation for the ASD child. Try not to make a big deal about it, but do encourage discretion on their part.
