Respecting HIS boundaries (question for autistic adults)

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Perhaps parents should teach their kids not to bully other kids, due to liking something they don't or being different from them.....nothing wrong with warning kids about that bullying can happen but one wants to be careful not to word it in such way it comes off giving the messege 'if you get bullied its you're fault' I unfortunately had that in my head for a while....so I figured I was just a crappy person for quite a lot of my life.

As far as I can remember, I was not forced to make eye contact or physical contact (although physical contact would not have been an issue because I liked hugs and rough and tumble play -- it was only ever light touch that was a problem for me).

Attempts to force me to socialize/play ranged from merely unsuccessful to unmitigated disasters (the unmitigated disasters were a social skills group and some other kind of therapeutic social group -- neither was for kids with ASD specficially, though, as I was not diagnosed with autism until I was 24). Those experiences were not at all helpful -- mostly they were confusing....at the time, I didn't know what the groups were nor why I was in them, and I couldn't follow/understand what was going on most of the time.

As with most things in life it's a balancing act.

I do not force my son to make eye contact, however I do ask him to look at me when I'm talking. I myself tend to look people in the mouth and read lips while they talk. He needs to understand now that not at least trying to look at someone who is talking to you is considered rude.

I don't force play, with others, and my son now 8 usually prefers parallel play, however I do limit "tech" time such as TV, video games etc. and encourage him to go outside and play. What he decides to play outside is his choice. Sometimes he'll play basketball or kickball with his two siblings and sometimes he just wants to pretend he is a ninja and stalk around the yard hitting trees with sticks. As long as he isn't destructive to himself, anyone else, the yard or house it's his choice.

The best advice I ever got on this topic is this. As an adult you need to be able to operate in a NT world. If you can't do something for whatever reason then you have two choices. 1) Find an alternative. 2) Learn to fake it.

I remember being told to look at them when I was a kid but it was about looking at their mouths so I could learn to form words. To me that is different than demanding you to look at them.