15 yo son refuses attention meds b/c he googled side effects

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Honestly, what your son did was actually a very smart thing. Most people don't bother to read the side effects of the medications they take, and sometimes those side effects can be scary. Of course, there's also the whole thing about how most ADHD meds are amphetamines, which can be neurotoxic in high doses. Not saying they don't have their value, they certainly do, but I can certainly see why someone wouldn't want to use a medication that's basically speed.

There IS a non-amphetamine ADHD med out there, called Strattera, and I've considered going on it since I know stimulant-based ADHD meds would likely exacerbate my anxiety, but unfortunately it's not covered by my disability prescription coverage plan. Anyway, that might be something to consider.

Just remember, your son is a human being too, and his thoughts and concerns are just as relevant as yours. I wouldn't say I'm as rigid as a lot of other autistic individuals, but I know how it feels, and yeah, it's not something that can be changed or controlled by other people.

If both of you are doing research from bonafide sources that you both agree are valid, then it should be easy to go over the potential benefits and risks together and discuss them.

Are there no opportunities in Spain to get back to higher education as an adult if one needs to or to take less than a full course load, at first, to give him time to catch up, but still have access to certs? When he was on his meds, was his academic performance a lot different; or are you mainly hoping the meds will rewire him and accelerate executive functioning development? If you are also relying on a jump, he may not see that as persuasive because the rewiring/jump may not happen or may not happen "in time" for the traditional route.

In our case, unless we get a big jump in maturity/development, we are going to be working on a completely different time period/schedule than typical kids in the U.S, where we live. My son is also super smart, but lags in developmental maturity, and I am just kind of planning for a plan B, if you know what I mean. If there are no alternative timelines where you live, I can understand the panic b/c thinking the plan b stuff out really does put my mind at ease.

Vyvanse is very different from Ritalin. They are completely different drugs. My sons both had ADHD issues and Ritalin was what helped the older one and vyvanse was a wonder drug for the younger one. Ritalin is kind of harsh and vyvanse is not. Adderall makes you feel speedy but vyvanse does not.

I would suggest vyvanse for anyone who had ADHD problems. My son was on it for years, the 20mg dose, and it never had to be increased like other meds do over time. Strattera was horrible for my kids but it does help some people I assume. It made mine very negative and very angry.

On vyvanse you can eat, you can sleep. The comedown is gradual and smooth and not a crash right before bed. It worked the full 12-15 hours too. I would give it to him at 5am and let him go back to sleep. By 6 when he was getting up, it would be working. He was hungry at meal times and he was even able to nap on the weekends and in the summer even though he has taken it.

I would first try talking to him and finding out what bad things he thinks may happen if he took it. Look up counter information and show it to him. If you can convince him that whatever it is he's afraid of won't be working. Maybe you can convince him to try it for a week and reevaluate. If not have you just insisted and told him he has to take it, bottom line? Will he do it even though he gets mad if you tell him he has to? Also as a last resort vyvanse can be opened up and put in food. It's safe to do that and it doesn't change any part of the time release. I know people here may have a fit that I suggested that but if he really needs this to help him, then you are doing the right thing by just putting it in his food.

Have you tried bribery?

Thanks moms for your advice. i'll re-read your comments and think about it.

Why all the anger from some of the respondants? You definitely got my attention, but if you explain it to me, maybe i'll be able to see your point of view. Otherwise, your experiences and knowledge is lost, and that is why i asked on this forum - to get explanations and personal experiences.

Has anyone with aspergers attention deficit experienced improvements without medication?

I tried to get my son to drink coffee, even measuring with teaspoons the right amount of coffee to milk, to sugar, etc. but he wants nothing to do with coffee. That would work to wake him up in the morning, but not sure it would work with his "selective" attention after the first wake-up jolt. But we abandonded the idea after he refused to take it. I do think that he took a few sips with my husband, but then he resfused flat out to take any more.

And since when do kids know better than parents (thoughtful, loving, intelligent parents)? Especially young teens, and young teens whose maturity is younger than their chronological age?

Your son will count as an adult in a few years and in any case, he's old enough so forcing him to do
something as serious as this without his consent is very problematic. Maybe you and he need to
work together and research and discuss the options. Perhaps if he felt you understood his point
of view and you both could discuss your different evaluations of the risks and benefits it would be
easier to get a path that you both felt comfortable with.

There is no conversation on his behalf. He just says no based on the negatves he read. I don't know which website he read it on or whether it was several. It was the couple of months when he took ritalin ayear ago when he looked it up. Now we're considering vyvanse. If you look up the risks on aspirin, tylenol, ubuprofin.... But to be fair... I asked him yesterday whether he would refuse to take medication with important side effects if it became necessary for his probable benign-course kidney Bergers disease (IgaNephropathy) and he said no, because that's not his brain. But he sees the glass half empty (damage to his brain) and I see the glass half full (attention improvement, potential improvement in brain functioning, learning, self-esteem, successful studies for his future career).

To me, damage to my brain would be a glass full to the brim---full of poison, but, hey, it's full!

That's why pretending to be open to reason with me, while simultaneously taking advantage of every single chance to tell me my feelings are wrong, and you know better than me what goes on in my head, because it'd be offensive on my part to believe I can ever "know better" than my parents, as well as resorting to all manner of fallacies ultimately backed up by your position of absolute power over me, but never acknowledging this is the only thing that actually matters, is, in my experience, the best way to mess up really badly an aspie's mind.

Since you're going to damage his brain anyway, because you can and he has no power to stop you, if I were him, I'd at least appreciate it if you were completely frank about it and told me it's not a subject of debate, and I'll only get to make my choices in (what's left of) my life when I'm not only a legal adult, but also fully independent from you (which I'll have to achieve playing by your rules, wasting my natural talents when they don't fit your idea of what I should be, and, of course, with my already irreversibly damaged brain). Don't forget to make the point that you can always make it worse, so he'd better be happy and grateful or else!

My opinion (for what it is worth) : I am assuming the age of legal adulthood in Spain is 18 or pretty close. That means in 3 years, he can do what he wants, regardless, unless you take an extreme step like getting continued legal guardianship. So, even if you pressure him to go on meds for the next 3 years, he passes whatever tests he needs to continue with his education, and all that;At 18, if he still thinks it is dangerous, he can go right back off, and then he has the same issues he has now (unless that rewiring thing happens, and he no longer needs meds)

I really think the smart thing to do is go look up the drugs you are considering on WebMD or somewhere that is reputable and print it out so he can see the information and the source. Then have an active, specific, discussion of the benefits and risks. If you don't know where he got his information, you don't know if it is some weird conspiracy woo woo, not connected with real science. If he doesn't know where you got your info, he has no way to know if it is credible either.

At his age, a smart aspie is going to want to look at the evidence himself and have input. It is the way we are wired. It isn't a matter of trusting your motives. It is a matter of trusting your information and the fact that he will put different weight on the various benefits and costs than you b/c it his body and mind and he has to deal with any long-term consequences of the medication, if there are any.

Parents wanting what is best for their kids doesn't guarantee that they will make the correct choice. (I am not at all saying that what you want is not the correct choice only addressing why a teen (especially an aspie) would not necessarily be compliant with loving, well-meaning parents, automatically.) I can think of many decisions my mom made in what she presumed was my best interest that were not. Sometimes when kids look back on these kinds of things they reassess their initial reaction, and change their minds.

Often we don't, and resent the heck out it, even years later. There are decisions my mom made, that, to this day, as an adult with a child of my own, I still resent. I view the fact that felt she had any clue what my self-interest was as hubris and demonstrating a complete lack of any theory of mind as to what I value.

I don't know which this will fall in, but I do think that if you can get agreement from him based on the facts, you are both more likely to get compliance and more likely to avoid potential resentment later. Maybe you can get him to agree to trying a low dose of whatever looks like the most benign thing out there. Maybe he will be willing revisit the coffee thing, or a mild prescription --so that he can get through his key exams.

Dear ASD mom,

thank you for writing such a long comment.

Now I'm the one who's been reseraching and it is frightening all the stuff you read. I mean it's way over the top even in the traditional non-alarmist sources - suicide disclaimers, faster heart rate, lack of apetite, weight loss, nausa, stomach aches, headaches, insomnia, etc. Anphetamines have such a dirty name, and i assume most of that comes from abuse and addiction, but it's everywhere how horrible they are. On the other hand doctors are all for it.

He made a deal with my husband that he would take it for one month (and get his computer back) but he would have to know the name first.

So I did a search in google with the spanish name for it (Elvanse) just that word and you can't get away from all these dire potential effects. In Mayo Clinic, for example, as it would probably be on WebMD, it's more benign, more balanced, but it still has the suicide disclaimer and the more tolerable side effects which wear off after a while of nauea, stomach ache, headache, etc.

So i am so torn. He really needs help.

He is a stubborn one and I know that one of the way so many wonderful inventiones were made by aspies was because they were so stubborn.

I'm thinking of trying one myself tomorrow and seeing what happens before i give it to him. (even thou i know different people react differently). We had set tomorrow as starting day but I prefer to do it on a saturday so we can watch what happens.

Thank you for thinking about my cased and offering your suggestions.

Keep in mind, part of the reason why people with ADHD are often prescribed stimulants is because they have a different effect than they do in neurotypicals. In a lot of cases, stimulants actually sedate people with ADHD somewhat, and this is theoretically what allows them to focus and concentrate better.

Vyvanse isn't going to damage his brain. Just because the kid has misunderstood what he's read online about possible side effects of it does not mean he's right. Nobody is after him with evil intent. His parents just want him to take his medicine so he can concentrate. Not everything is evil or a conspiracy to some way or other hurt you. In fact, it's not even youthats going to be taking this. It's a kid whose doctor thinks the meds would help. And so do his parents. I know that you aren't happy and seem to feel that everything and everyone is out to get your but could you possibly for just a moment maybe try to believe that something could happen in the world that doesn't have the underlying goal of doing something harmful to someone with AS?

I mean this lady just wants her son to take medicine that will help him and you have turned it into she's trying to poison your brain and take away all your options.

I'm very sorry that you have such a negative life, I really am. However not everyone is out to ruin their kids life. The OP here obviously is not.

OK.
I started to take my son's meds today to see what happens. (vyvanse 30)So far I don't feel any more concentrated (I don't have ADD).

But I am going to open another thread in the college section to ask about how people cope with attention deficit without meds.

Thank you to all.

If you don't have ADHD you aren't really going to feel anything from vyvanse. I've tried it too when my son had it, he would sometimes forget to take it on weekends and stuff and I wouldn't give it to him if he was sick either. I never felt anything either. I tried it hoping it would give me energy like adderall does. I don't have ADHD but I've taken adderall for energy before and it definitely works. In fact a friend of mines doctor used to have her on it, time released, but for energy not ADHD. She didn't take it much though because she drank a lot instead so she would send me to the liqour store for her cause her husband told them not to sell her anything and she would give me an adderall and I'd take that in the morning and be Martha Stewart all day. And the adderall instant release does it even better but it doesn't last as long and its like speed from the 70s. But vyvanse gave me no speed buzz or even Martha Stewartness. It really worked well for my son though.

He's real sensitive to meds and all paranoid about them too. When the Dr gave him adderall he was 15 and she started him on the lowest dose. 10mg. I have it to him on a Saturday so he could see how it did. After about 30 mins he was freaking out. He felt the speed buzz and didn't like it. From 10 mg. Of come on! Even I don't feel anything from 10mg but he did and he refused to ever take it again. The speed buzz freaked him out. He felt absolutely nothing from the vyvanse. He didn't want to try if cause he was scared of another speed buzz but I bribed him and took him to my mother's who was a retired nurse and we sat over there after he took it all - day - long in case he felt anything and thought he was gonna die from it. He felt nothing so we had no problem with it from then on.

Have you tried bribery? All it cost me to get mine to try it was a phone card but your son sounds pretty hard-headed from it and he may require a game system or something. Tell him just try it and if there is a problem you won't make him keep taking it, and that vyvanse doesn't damage your brain. Side effect stuff they put in the med lit is all CYA stuff. If anybody during the double blind trial said they felt this or that they put it in. The person who had a side effect might not have even been on the med bit they put it anyway toncover their asses lawsuitwise. Explain that part to him. It's the truth. The side effects you are likely to get are listed first and there are about five. It's harmless unless he's got some kind of heart condition and in that case they wouldn't be giving it to him in the first place.

OliveOilMom bribery idea is something to consider, that worked on me as a 15 year aspie kid. There are a lot worse pills than ritalin that are prescribed to kids on the spectrum, SSRIs and anti-psychotics have much worse side effects. You can look the side effects up to any medication tho and find something to convince yourself not to take it if you already have that idea, as a 15 year old me refusing medication was a way rebelling and flexing control over my own life so punishments or taking things away would of had the opposite effect hardening my resolve to resist and to withdraw further. Everybody has a price, it's better the bargain than fight.

As far as bribes go, last week he received the 1400 euro personalized desktop computer that he had been dreaming of (for his minecraft, for his youtube videos, etc.). He paid for it from his money gifts he had been accumulating over the last couple of years, but we told him that he can't use it unless he takes the vyvanse. He negotiated with my husband that he would take it for a month but had to know the name (obviously so he could google it.) I still havent started giving it to him because of my doubts about it.

Olive Oil, Does your son have aspergers ? Mine doesn't have ADHD - no hyperactivity - just the opposite, he's sluggish when he's not on the computer.

I don't know why they didn't give him adderall this time, possibly because last year the capsules were too long and the ritalin tablets were round and he could swallow those better. Maybe the doctor didn't notice it on her computer. Besides, in spain all those meds are free, except vyvanse which is 60 euros per month since it's only been here for 2 years.

I've tried my son's ritalin, because my neurologist (I have mild MS) told me it was used for MS mental fog and I only use it once a month maybe but i really notice that it wakes me up and helps me focus. And in 1980 my family doctor (in NY) gave me a type of amphetamine to study, and it raised my IQ like by 10 points. it was amazing. I only used them for a short period of time til my one month supply ran out, but i never forgot the amazing effect it had on creativity and lucidness when writing.

So it feels strange not to feel anything when the other 2 times that i tried a stimulant i did feel it working. My concern was more on whether my son was going to have nausea or be jittery, and i wanted to know before he started taking it.

Now I'm wondering if he should take adderall. I know what you've told me about your son, but....

I think your son should have a say in what gets into his body. Even if he later regrets his decision, it is important to take responsibility for himself. You can have him talk to a doctor about the side effects, and maybe convince him, but you shouldn't bribe, guilt-trip or otherwise force something like that on him because that's just not a nice way to treat someone, even if you mean well. Then again, that's just my opinion and based on my experiences, where these kind of "parental measurements" never worked out well in the long run.

Also, did you try ginseng? It works wonders for my concentration.