The unfortunate reality is, there really isn't a lot of information for us.
It's still hard to convince The People Who Give Advice that we even manage to form a relationship and reproduce. When they do believe that, most of the time they don't believe that it can ever be a healthy situation.
"Healthy" is still based heavily on "neurologically typical and not dealing with mental or physical illness," and I'll be damned if I know why, because that describes exactly nobody I've met, ever.
I guess we just have to sort of figure it out, day by day. And take all the parenting advice in the world with an extra helping of salt. Because, frankly, that stuff changes radically from year to year anyway. I've got 4 kids spread over almost 11 years; what was "good advice" according to The Experts with the first one was outdated an incorrect by the time the middle two came along, then considered good advice again by the time I had the last one LOL.
And quite a lot of it doesn't work for "us" and "our kids" anyway. I've found that, even if they're not on the spectrum (my three older ones aren't; jury's still out on the baby), our kids whether as a function of nature or nurture end up a little quirky...
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
07 Mar 2017, 3:10 pm
