How do parents of children with autism get bullied?

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2 of my 3 sons have AS so I am familiar with 'the look' from other parents. I definantly get excluded by a lot of Mums and overhear snide comments about my parenting.

But it's been good in that I know who the genuine people are - I wouldn't want to be friends with people that snooty anyway.

I've made a couple of friends with other Mums. They don't judge me. They find my boys stimulate their minds with their different way of thinking.

My 7 year old Daniel/UbbyUbbyUbby has a best friend called H. I gave H's Mum brochures about AS and she has researched on the internet. She loves Daniel and is fully supportive of the friendship.

My 8 year old is great friends with our neighbours. Their Mum knows about the boys' AS and is easy-going about the many meltdowns that occur at her house. Again, the neighbours LOVE playing with my boys because they are so creative.

Helen

tygereyes: You don't ramble.

Thank you, Tygereyes, this is what I tell my kids.

I know the look, the mumbled comments "if that were my child, that child needs..., why don't they control that child, etc., etc." I have learned tto chalk it up to ignorance and a belief that these children are given to those who will LOVE them and help them. Niether of "my" kids are related to me biologically but I LOVE them and will continue to do so regardless of the opinions of Ignorant NT society.

Ramble on, my Dear, you've earned the right!

its better to accept the fact that people will say things about your child and you. but that shouldnt matter or influence you because you cant repalce that child with a better one. they wouldn't know what to do themselves if they had an autistic child. people with autictic children who deal with all their troubles are special and more strong willed when they have to keep it together for their kids.

Corsarzs, you know I wish it were true but it's not necessarily. There are too many autistic kids with parents that don't love them or accept them. There are plenty of aspies here that were abused for being different, not a "good kid" or "not listening".

My husband blamed child abuse on his social and developmental delays until our son was born-a carbon copy of his childhood minus the abuse and neglect. He realized it was mostly due to his non-verbal, hyperactive and delayed social skills that led to a lot of the abuse from his family and neighbors.

My parents have always told me that I'm not consistent enough with Hannah and that's why I struggle with her. Never mind the fact that I can't survive without a strict routine, and Hannah doesn't do well without one either. Consistency is *all* I have somedays it seems.

I was 19 when I had Hannah, so I find that a lot of people feel that it's their *right* to give me parenting advice, because obviously I know nothing myself. And having an out of control child just makes it a free-for-al on advice.

My friends were great when we got the dx. Most of them went home and did research on the internet or asked for more information. One of my less tactful friends asked if it meant Hannah was brain-damaged
There are snide remarks from people in the street or at movie theatres, or in shops.

My friends get irritated by the constant need for Hannah to be treated with just a little more care, for fear of setting her off in a public place. The kids stir her. But overall, everyone who knows is very supportive.

It's the people who don't know, or who don't understand what AS is, that pass judgement and/or assume that I say she has AS to make excuses for my poor parenting.

There will always be ignorance and bigotry in the world, unfortunately.

Kimj, unfortunately, what you say is too true. Z was a throw away child and though I can't prove it I know there was abuse. Fortunately he had Cor to catch him and, hopefully, I can be of some assistance to her.

He just ran through here, eating a sandwich and said a muffled "I love you". Maybe love, understanding, and face it, alot of sweat and tears won't make this a perfect world or him a perfect person, but I hope before I die to see him as happy and well-adjusted to his place here as possible. That will include fighting for him to my last breath and butting heads with the system as often and as hard as I have to to get results. I know you feel the same way about your son.

I have a hope that as long as we make ripples on the water, maybe, they will spread and help someone else. There is cruelty, ignorance a downright evil in this world. Let's fight itm wherever we are able. It takes a lot of grains of sand to make a beach.

Forgive me for rambling.