It's Okay to Let Kids Sleep with Parents

Post Reply New Topic

That's my point - go with what works but the prevailing attitude is wrong about the assumptions that it's bad for kids who need the comfort of their parents nearby when they go to sleep. I was told to make the kids tough it out. I was told, if they cry themselves to sleep, then let them cry themselves to sleep. I was told that it teaches them to be self-reliant.

that's weird that you would have had that many women criticizing your refusal to co-sleep. It's usually the other way around with us in the minority. Like Oregon Becky, I just think we should do what's best for the kid and the family. Autistic kids have different needs and locking them in a room when they're standing there screaming and banging on the door doesn't sound so swift to me. Or telling them to "tough it out" when they have to cry themselves to sleep.

I will say that my son slept really well in the crib and started to sleep through nights at a much earlier age than they say most infants do. It wasn't until the toddler bed that his sleeping problems started in earnest.

I agree 100% with you as well. If your child likes to sleep alone, by all means, that's what you should do...if your child does not, then by all means, that's what you should do. I think as someone mentioned, I have hardly heard anyone complain about kids sleeping alone...seems most are against co-sleeping instead.

Believe me, for a while my kiddo played with my hair all night and sometimes yanked it and I could not sleep...it was not good and therefore, I thought maybe sleeping on his own would help us both get better sleep...at the end of the day, it didnt' really help and his "stim" to play and yank my hair all night went away.

Where I live, most parents I know are in the "whatever works is fine" category. Our pediatrician is, as well. Other than the questions from my mom and sisters, I have always felt supported in our decision to allow our kids in our bed when they really want to be.

I think as parents of AS kids we are forced to figure out pretty quick that there are NO "one size fits all" answers when it comes to children. It's all instinct, and what the one particular child seems to really need.

Another parent here who supports co-sleeping.

My kids still fall asleep in our bed but we move them after they are asleep. They are 11 and 8. But up until a few years ago we all slept in the same bed. Well actually I and the boys slept in our queen size while hubby slept on a twin mattress on the floor lol. He just couldn't take the thrashing and kicking my one son sometimes would do at night.

Those were the best nights of sleep I ever had until I introduced melatonin in their life lol. They now sleep in their own beds but still prefer our bed to falling asleep. They understand ahead of time that we will move them when their asleep and they are fine with that.

I agree, go with whatever works.

Lainie

I also agree with whatever works. I have to say I do love how my 4 year old wraps his leg around mine or grabs my hand to hold him in our bed, it's so sweet!!

I've always had children sleeping with me and my ex. It's never been a problem. Mostly they sleep in their own beds, but when a bad dream comes and they wake up at nigth, or there's a thunderstorm or heavy winds, they're always welcome. Sometimes a little bit less due to intimate reasons... but anyhow welcome.

It's been times when I've literally been squeezed out of my bed when I have three kids trying to cuddle down, and I've woken up in early mornings because I had no blanket, because the kids has split it equally amongst them.

I find it natural to allow them in bed, it's a form of safety for them. (and yes, I sleep naked. Doesn't bother me. Nor my kids. Nor my ex.)

Yep--since he was a baby in the crib. He's never gone to sleep alone. I sneak out and go into my own bed, if I'm lucky. He will come into my room, periodically, and crawl right in. Good thing I don't have much of a life outside of my son.

As infants, both of my children co-slept with us. I know this is so often frowned upon, but with frequent wakings and feedings, and how utterly freaked out both of them seemed when we placed them in a bassinette (I know realize this was sensory and hating the feeling of space around them), it was the best choice. After the first few weeks, we switched to the bedside co-sleeper, which I cannot recommend enough. Around 8 months, we put them in their own rooms. Now both are so used to their rooms that even when I tried to bring my son into my room while he was ill, he protested until I returned him to his own room. Children on the spectrum do love routine and resist change. We had no problems with the transition from co-sleeping to their own rooms, at all. I think it built a sense of security for them. I suppose all children and families are different, but it worked for us.

Our 8 y/o daughter and 7 y/o AS son share a bed (they both have their own rooms but don't like to be alone when they sleep) and occassionally they will sleep with us. I think it makes my kids feel secure to know they are not alone and the people who think it has anything to do with sex make me ill! My kids feel loved, cherished, and safe because they know if they need support from us they can get it, even if it is in the middle of the night. I do have to say having a king size bed helps with the co-sleeping too. We all have enough space but the kids can cuddle up if they want to.

My kids have never been afraid of the dark. I remember being terrified sometimes in the dark, as a kid. I think that making them feel secure and protected, falling asleep next to us, spared them from developing that phobia.

both of my boys sleep with me from time to time. I think that when pediatricians recommend that kids not co-sleep with the parents, they probably really mean NT kids that do not have the sensory issues that ASD kids do. Both my boys have problems sleeping and they do better when they sleep with me. My oldest is 7 and we have an agreement that he gets to sleep with me every Monday, this is with the hope that one day he will grow tired of it and sleep in his own bed. He is tall and bony! My other is 4 and he seems to need to sleep with me the most, I think it is because of the sensory input he gets from being snuggled with me, because when he does sleep in his own bed he frequently wakes up in the middle of the night and stays awake! yikes! It doesn't bother me although it does get crowded! I figure that when they get old enough they will decide on their own to stay in their own beds. My oldest is also allowed to come get in my bed if he ever has a bad dream or wakes up. My husband works night shift so it is always just me at night anyway, it is only a problem on his nights off!

It's called co-sleeping and it's perfectly natural. Both of my kids have slept in our bed for certain periods of time. We started them as newborns in our bed and my daughter gradually decided she liked her space better. My son is still coming in to sleep in my bed in the middle of the night. I like cuddling with him. Wouldn't dream of turning him away.