How engaging is your child?

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Lainie,

As I read your original post, I became concerned that this comment that your son is too "engaging" to be on the spectrum sounds like a school district/school personnel's way of avoiding a formal diagnosis, because then they would be required to spend money on his special needs in order to fulfil his IEP.

We lived in the Sacramento area, and had a horrible time with the district personnel, trying to get them to acknowledge our son's needs. It was all about money for them. The district's job was to minimize perceived problems and avoid doing what they should do for a child if he has special needs. We were just in a bad district -- if we had moved one district over, to the Folsom school district, we would have been better off. As it was, we moved back to Pittsburgh, PA (where we came from) and received all the services that we fought for an entire year to get in Rocklin, CA.

I would really look into getting some sort of support to help you at these meetings, somebody who is schooled in AS and who knows the law of what the school districts are required to do to support a child with AS. Just be aware that the school districts often are in the business of AVOIDING any costs, especially costs associated with special needs children.

Kris

DW: I know a kid just like that! (And I've been told I was one too.)

Moms know when their kid has a fever, without a thermometer. Trust your gut, advocate, and you'll get the support you need (eventually). Schleppenheimer is right, you may need an outsider to help prove your case. The "Little Professor" description is one I really like for kids on the spectrum. They may engage adults, but in this very adult manner that is abnormal for kids. It's a bit aggravating that a professional doesn't know that particular affectation.

When I pick my son up tonight, I'm sure I will get a 20-minute, non-stop rundown on exactly what happened today - who did what, what activities they did, what he saw... I call it his daily digest. If I interrupt him or don't pay attention, I will pay the price in a meltdown. It's odd, but it's normal for him. If I don't get the digest, then something went really wrong today and he's afraid.

Equinn,
Are you asking me or Smelena about living in cali? I'm in cali but I think Smelena is in Austrailia along with Tony Atwood right?

Are you in Calif?

Lainie

LOL you could be describing my son...or me, some days. I admit it. For YEARS - maybe my entire childhood, teen years, and at least half my twenties, I would write New Year's Resolutions, and the first one was "STOP TALKING SO MUCH! SHUT UP!!" I finally stopped writing those damned resolutions. Especially ones that made me feel badly about something that was obviously such an intrinsic part of my personality - after all, if it was something I could really change/stop, I wouldn't have to remind myself every bloody year that it was my Main Priority to stop doing it, right? I finally realized I was actually bullying myself.

Many people don't understand that my son has social engagement issues because he is SO verbose. But they don't get that he's not generally talking TO them, he's talking AT them. He's sharing fascinating, valuable information with them, like how many bicycles there are in China, or what mastodons ate, or who won the Superbowl in 1978, and by what margin. And most adults who first meet him are so enamored/impressed/spooked by his vocabulary and demeanor just think he's very bright (which he is), but that's it. When I was a child (very much like him), the word used was "precocious."

Anyway, we and his teachers have been working with him on social reciprocity, and letting other people have a turn in conversation, etc. Since this is STILL sometimes a problem I struggle with personally (and I'm nearly 40), I appreciate what a challenge this can be.

"unleashing a monologue you never expected" - yep, that's pretty much my life, and my son's life too. We're both either very quiet/aloof/solitary, or we'll talk your ear off.

Sounds EXACTLY like me as a child. Exactly.

honestly, we treat daughter as if she's aspie....we assume she is......teachers at school this year have been really great about letting her know about transitions ahead of time, about working with her to avoid the inconsolable crying, about working with her on understanding non-concrete language.

yesterday was the first day i heard anyone ever mention about daughter's speech pattern. not sure if that's a spectrum issue or not, though. daughter overexaggerates certain syllables in words & certain words in sentences. she also has a tendency to use a babyish sort of voice.

Yup, that was me as a kid. Adults seemed very endeared by my mature (or in NT terminology, pedantic) choice of words, and constantly complimented me on my intelligence. Peers, on the other hand, laughed at pretty much every word I said. Needless to say, this puzzled me. I could never understand why scientific terminology was so funny.

Sinagua,

I, too, stopped writing New Year's resolutions when I discovered they were the same ones every year.

Glad to hear you came to your senses, too!