Could you tell....

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The curious traits about my son were not things I would consider indicative of Asperger's, particularly at such a young age. Often when a child behaves in a way other than the parents were expecting, they tend to worry that something is wrong. It's hard to imagine tagging a child so young with anything based simply upon a few quirks of development. When I think of the times that I've seen parents become defensive or uncomfortable based upon something one of my kids had done, while I had no idea how to assure them that children are as varied as humans at any age, well, it's just amazing. My kids are all tall, for example. Well, so am I. Big deal. They'll never make it in ballet. My oldest was an early talker. This may have been because I worked with her s much, but at age 11 she has shown that it is just who she is. But it made her best pal's mom, a friend of mine, uncomfortable to no end all through their first couple of years (they were born a couple of hours apart, and just naturally ended up being compared, unfortunately), even though her child was very shy.

My son was a later talker, meaning that since he did begin to talk within a reasonable range, I didn't worry. I mean, his sister talked so early (and has never stopped since) that in his case, I figured anything would look slow. But he outstripped her in mechanical things, just getting a doorknob turned was a struggle for her for years and something he mastered early.

I'm just saying that I wouldn't get too worked up just yet. There are a massive variety of patterns human development can take. If a child has delays, true delays, you really won't be able to miss them.

And take what doctors say with a grain of salt. I never forgot the time my son's GP said he had a delay in his growth because of a discrepancy in the pattern of his weight gain, even though I pointed out that his last appointment had taken place not long after he'd had a stomach virus. It got put into perspective after a later appointment a couple of years later when she walked in with the chart, didn't even look at him, and said he was a little skinny. At that age, he most certainly was not. Another time her danged nurse measured wrong... It looked like he'd shrunk! Okay, that was more of a rant about our crappy GP... he sees a pediatrician now. The current doctor does actually look at his patient before he makes assessments, but he also tagged him ADHD without suggesting any further evaluation. Don't get me wrong, ADHD is not a bad diagnosis all things considered, but it may be incomplete. And my son is 7 years old, and we still aren't sure.

Now's a good time to get into practice watching your kid and seeing who she is and what she's like. You still have plenty of time to decide if she's moving forward. If she's making effort to try new things, if she's interested in the world around her, if she responds sometimes, no biggie. A lot of babies find eye contact hard to handle for too long. They get touchy about nursing sometimes and then get past it. I have found that there are ages where they want to be put down so that they can try things they are working at. Sometimes they don't want to be held, it seems, because they are evolving, figuring out all the things there are to see and not wanting to go to sleep. If she's really just laying there like a lump at all times, yeah, that's a problem.

I'd say ask your doctor what you want. Doctor's visits are for things like that. And they are supposed to ask about development, actually. If yours doesn't, maybe doctor shopping is in order as well. I actually find it odd that your husband would never forgive you for asking the doctor. Surely asking isn't that serious. Is he like my husband's family, who think a thing never happened as long as they never mention it? Doctors aren't going to see something that isn't there just because you tell it to them. For what that's worth. And if it's a good doctor.

Oh, and since I got all preachy and forgot to mention them, these are the traits I remember when my son was a baby... He crawled, pulled up, babbled and walked at about the same rate as his precocious sister, or nearly so. He was full-term, though, so make what you will of it. He used to nurse well as a baby, too well in fact, nursing for so long that on a couple of occasions (before I wised up and realized part of it was due to my personal plumbing) he overflowed and it all came back out (now there's a developmental oddity). From birth, and perhaps even earlier, he showed himself to be very sensitive to comfort, screaming blue murder in the hospital every time a nurse would come to check his umbilical cord. Once in the womb, he scared me by thrashing around like a mad thing and then stopping suddenly. Yet I have always had the feeling that he was just trying to get comfortable. He still gets his mad thrashing moments. Oh, and he hated hiccups. Yes, all the danged books say hiccups do not hurt babies, they don't mind them, no worries. Well, it's my expert opinion that there are at least two kinds of hiccups and while the silly things are never serious, mine have always hurt, and my two older kids hated theirs as babies, thrashing in the womb after a few minutes of hiccupping, and crying after they were born after a few minutes of it. The beauty part is that crying always cured them. I think they were crying in the womb too. My 11-year-old says hers still hurt. So maybe we're all just weird.

Thank you all so much! I have talked to my daughter's pediatrician and she's got some concerns about my daughter's development as well. We're going to keep a close eye on her and see how things go. I'm trying not to be too concerned though cause I know eventually it'll come out if it's because of her being a preemie or if it's cause she's on the spectrum.

Well, my daughter has officially started refusing eating from a spoon. I'm starting to seriously suspect that something is definitely going on. I've sent an e-mail to the pediatrician because I'm so concerned.

I have a dx son who is now 4 yrs. I had just had a baby girl when he was diagnosed. Well i tell you I watched her behaviour like a hawk.

She NEVER made eye contact while nursing for seven months. She flapped her hands, walked on tippy toes, sometimes pulled away from physical touch, speech was very slow to come and had big tantrums.

Yep.......sounds like she is on the spectrum alright. But now at 23mths of age she is so loving and giving of affection, speaks in sentences, doesnt flap or tip toe anymore. She is the most NT little girl in the world, loves playing and immitating other kiddies.

The moral of this is you will be 'looking' for autistic behaviours, and yes you will probably find them. But so many things are part of normal development. You will have to do the wait and see thing, which drives me mad!! !

We just did our own 'intervention' at home, encouraging her all the way from language to daily living skills, just incase she was on the spectrum. Looks like it all helped her development beautifully. Make extra effort with her, just incase, then you cannot beat yourself up later for not realising. She will benifit anyhow.

Its very hard to diagnose at that age, try to enjoy her and not worry so much. But hey....I cant talk, I worry like crazy always!! !

Good Luck xx