Parents, I'm trying to help

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great example:) i'm having visions of him sniffing the tennies lol but i get your point It almost explains tho why it's maybe so hard for these kids to put their toys away when we try to organize their stuff... if they dont see the catagories we have chosen as logical might be harder to 'get it right' the way we're wanting them to?? ie. cars in one pin/ legos in another/ costumes in another?


I could see the value of keeping these:) the cardboard is lost on me...but is this very common? And is there some reason for keeping the broken things that i'm missing? I understood when he was 2 and had a box full of the wheels off his broken trucks (because I knew he liked wheels) but I have a hard time understanding the pieces of broken metal off the matchbox cars or the random chuncks of cardboard for example.


How to find a way to allow them if it is comforting without clogging the septic tank or having to fish out the pieces myself later (as crazy as it sounds I get very resentful when I have to repeatedly pick up after people who are old enough to pick up after themselves.... i'm not sure why) I've often discribed being a wife and mother as being a bit like a slave (minus torture) you do everything , get no thankyous, it's never ending and when you finally get it done they've undone everything you did do... kinda daunting.


I'm sure he could lol He talked of building a princess bed for his daughter years and years ago. I wish I new how to build those things. I sometimes play on an online came called secondlife and there I can build houses and everything ... real life it's not so easy!! !!


somthing I noticed as well

I wanted to add to that I let his sister sleep at a friends house last nite and he said "you let her go" he seemed upset i explained i thought he could use a lil time to himself without her pestering him and without her music and noise... he ran across the room all smiles and hugged me

last and and today as well he's been just so happy and calm. These are the days I remember the bad

also interesting is that this child who is generally begging to have more and more and more computer hasn't even turned it on .. very strange

Absolutely. There's also the fact that some things just aren't of interest to sort - for me clothing is like that. I'm always surprised when people have orderly drawers and wardrobes of clothing, with items sorted according to whatever scheme they're comfortable with. I just want to get mine put away as quickly as possible (actually, I don't really care if they're left in a big pile, but other people tend to object) wherever they'll fit in a drawer.



It's definitely common. Collecting items that are the same is the only thing that matters - what their purpose or function is really isn't relevant.

For example, I used to collect the plastic caps from the end of smarties tubes (similar to m&m's if you aren't familiar) and keep them in a big plastic bag. I liked the textures, colours and feel of them, and that they all came with a random letter embossed underneath the cap.



If it is about the texture, then maybe you could introduce him to paper mache. If you blow up a balloon, you can use it as a mould to make paper mache facemasks for example.

As for the untidiness, William is probably never going to have the same values as you do regarding keeping things tidy, unless it becomes an obsession, in which case he might become unbearable . Once something loses its appeal and he moves on to the next thing, it would hold no interest for him until he came back to it.

On that topic, if you were to clear something up and he came back to find it had changed, he'd likely react badly to finding something other than he expected. It's important to let him know that you're making a change like that - silly as it might seem - because if, for example, you put his cars away when he wasn't playing with them, he simply might not even consider that they'll be in the toybox/car tub/wherever they go, and be upset by their absence. If he's on the edge of a meltdown, this could be enough to trigger it.

I'm betting he doesn't tidy up most of the time unless you're standing over him, 'directing traffic' so to speak, or even 'helping' him put things away.



Ahh, Second Life is a great place to hang out. I used to spend a lot of time in there listening to the live music, but I haven't logged on in over a year.



It definitely sounds like he's using the computer to relax his mind. I still use computer games as a strategy for focusing and unwinding, something a psychologist told me is very common among people of all ages on the autism spectrum.

With little sis away, he probably doesn't feel as much of a need for it, and likely feels more comfortable that he isn't sharing the space with her. I can completely relate to the music thing - I can't stand being forced to listen to music that I don't like, especially with people of the "Isn't it great? Tell me this isn't the best tune you've ever heard! Listen to that beat! Come on! I know you like it!" mindset.

It must be hard having to treat one child differently to the other, but one of the special needs of aspies of all ages is for those around them to be willing to make adjustments and compromises to suit them - though they should, of course, be willing to come halfway.

Great news that he's in good form this weekend though. Long may it continue!

wow reading back on the quotes .. I have terrible spelling and errors hahahaha One part i noticed was I ment to say these great days I remember all the good (not the bad)

when he was 3 we did this to make a pinata lol maybe i unleashed a beast hahaha


he seems on board with most of it but then i'm not crazy clean lady lol I'm ok with clutter even messy just not filth ie. food on the floor, wet towels in the corner stuff like that I make them put their clothes away (dont care where as long as they can find them to dress themselves in the morning), make their beds (dont care if it doesn't look perfect just that they attempt it), pick up their toys (dont care if the shelves look like chaos long as the room isn't a fire hazzard)... the main house the the "undo" that he does has more i think to do with his ADHD than anything else, if he beats me awake there will be toilet paper strung through the house, paper plates shredding into pieces, eggs and things you just never know but whatever it is.. it's a lot and it's everywhere and it's needless.


when he was younger he did have this problem for sure now it's not an issue or doesn't seem to be anyway (the nite time toy fairy often visits when the tubs are getting way too full) and he doesn't seem to notice .. if he does he simply gets mad at her ... lets hope he never catches her in action:)


he doesn't tidy up without at least a prompt to do it and has told me he preferrs chaos and clutter but if i ask he will generally do it .. i just have to stick around and keep suggesting what to do next.. most of the time i make cleaning up a game for the two of them "who can fill up their tub faster" seems to be a great motivator.


I was a live music club owner lol now i just build things to keep my mind active or sit in a swing and pretend i really am watching the sunset:) nice world so many people from everywhere can't say i log in too much anymore tho probably monthly


yesss lol he's not really a fan of hannah montana sadly hahaha. he had an old radio that broke but before it broke he used to turn it on different channels and would walk around with it sleep with it ect. he also fell in love with the guitar after watching August Rush really liked flipping and banging the strings like the boy on the movie but sadly has broken that as well. perhaps in the future he'll get another


Truely it's not the treatment that is hard .. i just deal with her the same as i deal with him she's just easier to accept or go along with things, doesnt hurt people and laughs more.. What is the hardest for me as a parent of a special needs child is that the other child quite often feels invisible. People (therapists ect.) come to work with william ... noone to work with her or He gets to go to the theraputic riding place .. she doesn't because she's "normal" things like this are the hardest.. not to mention having to see him her her:( and knowing that since birth she has done nothing but be his friend and confidant that is truely difficult to watch. So i would say seeing the non special needs child in so many ways is the one that suffers. They end up with less parent time, less space for themselves, not able to do things because he has a melt down those sorts of things.

lol

We all make mistakes when we're typing, but some of us are a bit more obsessive about correcting them (I tend to proofread everything I write).



This bit made me laugh.



Yeah, that was sort of the direction I was coming from with that. I probably should have elaborated. I meant to say that it must be difficult dealing with the emotions that come from having one child that sees the circus of attention around their sibling because of special needs. But it sounds like he has a good friend and ally in his little sister, so she'll probably learn to understand better and better as she gets older.

funny as it might seem lol that was proof read .. yikes and just how did I earn that college degree I wonder lol


if lie-in is sleeping in sadly no the only days I get to sleep in are when they are at their dads... when here he is usually up and destroying by about 5-6am... should i mention i'm a night person grrr i hate mornings!! !! ! lol


good thinking!! !!
on that note i have to tell you one time i'm thinking william was maybe 3 or 4 we took him to see santa. All season his dad kept saying things to him like santa isn't going to bring you anything if you dont behave lol... so we get to the store and we're about to go in and he tells us he's going to beat santa up!! somthing like that he was very adoment so much so we went home instead lol He's also completely lost it and wanted to send hate mail to the tooth fairy when she forgot to leave his money... i tell him they must be backed up


It definately is so much talent in one place it's amazing


good idea:)


up till this point she has definately understood and sympathized often if he's afraid she'll offer to go first or hold his hand or watch his show instead of her's. She constantly bends to help him feel better and she plays HIS games.. my fear is that if she's gets hit too many more times she will stop caring to understand and instead her feelings for her brother will become ones of bitterness and resentment. (bit like a battered wife) you love them but you truely want nothing to do with them.