Someone Marry Barry, Aspergers and Aspartners

Post Reply New Topic

I think just like with NTs there are racists and non-racists, although maybe for different reasons?

A lot of NT racism has to do with group identification that may be hard for aspies to get. My in-laws are very racist and most of their issues tend to look something like this:

There is economic resource A:

Even if they can't get or don't even want said economic resource, they yield some kind of benefit psychologically if said resource goes to someone in their racial group vs. someone in an outside group.

I am not a believer in Evo Pysch b/c it seems like a lot of hokum, so I don't buy that it is b/c they feel more genetically related to people of the same group. I think it just has do with them thinking it would be easier for them to get stuff if it is harder for groups to which they do not belong.

To me if you don't get something and someone you don't know does, who cares what race that person is?

My in-laws are very into group identification and I think this is why it makes sense to them. They are very family-oriented in a way that is very strange to me. They favor even very distant relatives on some kind of principle, but I do not think it has to do with the miniscule DNA sharing. They are very loyal to the high school they went to and their hometown. They are loyal to their state and are nationally patriotic in a way that seems odd as they seem to value any American over any non-American. I think country is prioritized over race, but do not hold me to that.

I don't think this is a very aspie friendly way of thinking. I don't identify with any group really well, and these preferences seem very arbitrary.

My FIL is probably aspie and he is racist, too, though. I think it is rigid rule following of the group affiliations he was taught, but I can not be sure.


**I am not a sociologist so this analysis is likely very off.

I do know that my 8 yr old does not seem to understand race--which is not a bad thing, although I think it will make teaching history harder. I have tried teaching MLK Jr. day and we have mentioned slavery very briefly, without getting too much into the violent aspect. He remembers the facts, but does not understand beyond that. Maybe it is not bad that he doesn't.

Assholery is human. Aspies and NTs are human. Therefore, both Aspies and NTs can be a**holes; they may have a uniquely neurological spin on it, but the basic human nature part is still there. (Of course, the converse is also true, but I can't come up with a word right now that's the opposite of a**hole.)

I think this tendency to dehumanize people - meaning, explaining very human behavior away with some kind of difference - is is also behind the tendency to label mass shooters with AS or mental illness or religious fanaticism or as violent abusers - most people need to believe there is "something" that causes someone to shoot a bunch of people. I've come to the conclusion that the reason people look for this is because they don't want to see that they, too, have the potential to be a mass shooter, and the only thing separating them from the actual killers is the decision not to do it. Same with anything else.

My white 8 yr old asked me if he would grow up to be a black man.
He used to have blondish hair, but as he got older it turned dark brown. I guess he thought his skin could do something similar.

That is cute!

My son is teaching himself Japanese, and he apparently associates very straight hair with being Japanese. Often when he takes a bath and washes his hair, he will scream out that he is "turning Japanese."

So yeah...

A budding linguist, huh?

I wanted black skin as a kid so I thought if I stayed out in the sun long enough, my skin will turn black. But instead I would end up getting sun burned and having more freckles. I couldn't understand how little kids got black so fast and babies.

Like the 80's song!

1. First, is there an accurate book or link that can describe the African American culture better. My wife and I have fundamental philosophical differences in outlook and she is an individual yes but I want to try to understand the culture better so I have a working understanding of things.

2. I stumbled onto him by accident but can you explain Tommy Sotomayor to me a lot more. http://www.youtube.com/user/sotomayortv7

a. When I listen to his videos he seems so uncouth and lacks social skills. He is able to be successful it seems like and still lacks social skills. How? What is the difference between him and us autistics?

b. The man makes hasty generalizations about a sub-set of women more particularly black women who wear weave. Why does he hate them so, so much? What is a hair hat? How can hair or weave be a hat? My wife wears weave and she has explained why to me. There are two reasons.

i. It helps to keep her hair healthy and to help it to grow.

ii. She doesn't have to fool with her hair and she can concentrate on other things like teaching and coming up with better ways to improve her instructional style and spend time watching hulu with me.

iii. Yes, there are a**hole in every group. Why doesn't he concentrate on negative behavior and say this is what is wrong with some people? What does weave have to do with anything?

iv. What suggestions does he have for anyone to live their lives in a noble and virtuous manner? He never states anything.

v. I tried to ask Mr. Sotomayor my logical questions to engage in a logical discussion with him.



This was a response from I guess one of the man's followers. She wouldn't answer my logical questions. I did become frustrated and I should not have said some of the things I said to her.



I still do not understand what stating the name of a musical instrument both in the singular and the plural sense had to do anything with my logical questions. I still do not. How do I parse this? Her response made absolutely no sense to me. Was an answer implied in this? What information as I supposed to obtain from this?

Can Mr. Sotomayor tells us all what virtue and nobility is and how do we live our lives with nobility and virtue? All he does is bashes without providing any answer as to how to do this. Why?

Is he the Mad Hatter or the Cheshire Cat in Alice and Wonderland or something? Does his followers smoke to much marijuana, drop to much acid or something? I don't get his thinking and theirs whatsoever and why one would give me the name of a musical instrument as a response.

I wish he and his followers would answer questions that I've posted on this other post here.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt261748.html

Violins = sound of violins = ho hum, I'm not listening but playing music in my head, or, playing the "here we go again" music, or, I'm bored waiting and waiting for you to [fill in the blank], or "la di da di da", or, "ho hum"

Some people type "elevator music" instead of "violins" to get across the same point

Having spent my life on message boards for a number of years educated me to these sort of inane things people do

Last edited by mikassyna on 24 Jun 2014, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

If you don't mind, will you please clarify further? I don't follow.

It's basically a trite way of telling someone they find you dull/annoying/boring/clueless/repetitive/or some other quality they don't like

Sorry you had to deal with this

Ooops also, "violins" can refer to someone playing violin music for dramatic effect. Meaning, if you seem to be creating a drama or reacting overly dramatic to something, someone will type "violins" to indicate that you're being whiney, or getting bent out of shape, or something of the sort. It's basically a comment that is dismissive of you.

Yeah and given the Urban Dictionary type meaning (which I only know of b/c of that song) I have multiple reasons for really hoping he does not say that other than at home. LOL

In real life, sometimes people will make gestures like they are playing a violin, or a tiny violin, which is evidently also a thing. I think it also means something like, "Too freaking bad, I have no sympathy for you. You are being overly dramatic." So, I think it is not just to say a person is overly dramatic, but to make clear they have no sympathy or empathy at all for you. I could be wrong though b/c my understanding of this kind of nuance is not so great. Either way, it is a jerky response, though.

Holy crap. I just looked up "turning Japanese" on Urban Dictionary. I had no idea it meant that!

I think it was mentioned on MTV or something back in the day, or I would not have known, either.