15 yo son refuses attention meds b/c he googled side effects

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Would it be possible for him to speak with a qualified physician one on one? That means without you or anyone else present in the room. Then maybe he can talk about his difficulties and problems and the doctor can explain which medication he recommends and why he believes it may help him. I think it may be worth it to suggest it to him and see what he says.

I too have always been skeptical about psychiatric medication and would refuse to even think about taking them. Only after I had nothing else to lose did I decide to try them, and not because of what anyone else told me. They do help and nothing bad really happened. My dad also takes anti-depressants and cannot function without them anymore. I also know a girl who has ADHD and has been taking medication since a young age. She doesn't like how they make her tired but she acknowledges that she needs to take them to function properly.

Anyway I think forced drugging is not recommended. If he really really doesn't want to take medication then it's best to stop talking about it. I highly doubt blackmailing will work and it sounds immoral too, things like "if you don't take drugs, no internet for you". I think that should be his choice. You wouldn't like it if let's say your boss decided that everyone in the company has to start going out and drink with him or else they get fired (ridiculous example but you get the idea). Don't push him, it will make him NOT want to take medication.

I still don't get the resistance to giving your child medicine against his wishes simply because it's psychiatric. Can and should a parent force a 15 year old to take insulin? I think so. Well, same idea. The damage from add and executive function in a teen with aspergers is considerable, so why not treat it with medicine. It's not your pancreas, but exec. function probls can lead to depression (is severe depression or suicide as dangerous as uncontrolled diabetes?)...

Anyways....on wednesday we do have an appt. with our primary care doctor who told me last week to bring him so she can talk to him about his fears. She is a new doctor in our center so she doesnt know either of us.

About ginseng I don't know. Its a supplement i assume.

selflessness - are you in college?

I don't think you can compare AS to diabetes. If you don't take insulin, you die, while with AS you don't need medicine to survive at all. Simple as that. As is a highly functioning form of autism. Besides, I'm pretty sure a 15 year old with diabetes would be able to agree to having insulin injected into their bodies.

A lot of things can lead to depression, especially in teenagers. For example not being taken serious about one's worries, feeling blackmailed and forced by parents, having no control over what medicin to take, etc those things can also contribute to depression. Also, there is very very very very little evidence (if any) that AS alone can lead to suicide. So don't worry. If you think like that, then you are following the same thought process you don't like in your son, namely focusing on "side effects". Many people consider their brains the center of their identity and don't like the idea of chemical alteration, and while you don't have to agree with those people, you should at least respect them. Etc.

If the side effects are too much simply stop taking the pill, it's an experiment and not a sure to help regardless as everyone's body is different and reacts differently to medication. I think ritalin is a lot more healthy than risperdal or zoloft and they have no problem giving those to kids. I don't think it is wrong for you to worry about your son, there are a lot of people here that probably wish they had gotten some help when they were that age whether or not they were mature enough to know it at the time.

thanks Jacoby for your understanding. But I'm still torn not about making the decision for him, but about his refusal and therefore, no hope for future treatments. I notice you're 24. I always wonder what my son will be like when he's 24. Girls are a long long long way away, hopefully one day so that he's not lonely. He has one sister and very few relatives. Studying for computer programming is hopefully not out of the question. Probably he'll do great in the 2-year technical college system that they have here for those who can't manage the studies for software engineering. Since that is his special interest (minecraft mostly at the moment) and he does great in the 2 hours per week of robotics class that he goes to. But he's got to finish the next 2 years of high school. How are you doing? Did you study college? Are you happy with your life?

I understand completely how he feels. For years before I was even diagnosed with Asperger's I was put on medication for schizophrenia and many other mental problems and suffered all kinds of side effects. It was torture and only my other seems to understand why I have such a problem taking any new kind of drugs but the psychiatrists are nothing but pill-pushers and they don't care about fixing the problems that are affecting you psychologically, they just want to medicate you. When I was a teen being put on drugs for time, however, they wouldn't really tell me anything. I might have drowsiness and dry mouth that was it. I ended up having muscle tics in my face, feeling like someone had poured sand in my eyes, difficulty swallowing and really bad anxiety that did not get less severe over time, only when I had to practically beg the doctor to reduce the dosage or take me off it altogether. I was put on so many different drugs and I felt like a lab rat, being nothing but a helpless test subject for their chemicals. Even the meds I'm on now gave me problems until the dosage was reduced. I would have frightening dreams and night sweats. I'd wake up feeling as if I had malaria because I'd be drenched even when the room was cool and then the evaporating sweat would make me cold and clammy and it felt really gross.

Every other ad on TV is an "ask your doctor ad" for some drug and all the negative reactions and side effects sound much worse than whatever ailment they're treating, including type 2 diabetes. I hater it so much that for a while I believed that should only take herbal remedies for anything. But then I realized they're not very effective at all, also plants can be toxic and hazardous, too.

The right to refuse medical treatment is a pretty universal human right. Unless a certified physician claims after closer research that he is not mentally capable to decide for himself, nobody can force him. And even then he has the right to not cooperate with a research into his mental competence in the first place. Parents can do a lot as long as their children are not 18, but you're not free to do as you please if that's what you're asking.

And no, I dropped out of university a while ago because my results were unsatisfactory. Got kicked out by my parents soon after and currently unemployed and homeless. I hope things do work out for you and your son.

Well, I hope that things work out for YOU. I cant imagine being homeless. Do your parents understand your aspergers?

I think it's very important that you do not force him to take the meds. If you really think it's best for him, do what you can to convince him, but at 15 he's old enough to say 'no' if he really doesn't want to take them.

When I was 12 (even younger than your son) I was seriously anxious and depressed and my parents were worried I'd hurt myself because I'd have panic attacks and run away from them or from school. They started homeschooling and figured that would help, but they wanted a quicker fix while I was adjusting to it. But I was really dead-set against taking anti-depressants (mainly because my school had tried for years to get me on stimulants and it had soured me to the whole field of psych meds). My parents finally got me to agree to take St John's Wort tea because it was more natural.

I shudder to think of the harm it would have done to my relationship with them if they'd tried to force me to take the meds, or punished me for refusing to take them. Instead, they took my objections seriously (even though in retrospect I don't think I was being rational about it) and worked to find a solution that I was comfortable with.

It is not at all the same as taking insulin, for two reasons. First, insulin is a life-saving medication. A diabetic who does not get regular insulin will die, as untreated diabetes causes starvation, organ damage and may end up comatose from excess blood sugar. A person with attention deficits who does not get stimulants will just do poorer in school and in other activities requiring concentration.

Second, this is his brain that's affected. The brain is the core of who you are, and altering the brain's function can leave you feeling like you're not really 'you' anymore. It's not something to be taken lightly. I've never heard a diabetic express the concern that insulin will change their identity, but I've heard that concern many times from people contemplating psychiatric meds - and I've also encountered people for whom that concern was well-founded. One of my childhood friends was diagnosed with ADHD and given stimulants. Off them, he was bouncing off the walls, but on them, he acted kind of like a zombie - it was like nothing could get his interest. Now, I've also known people for whom psych meds have been a huge help, and a lot of the difference depends on dosage and on getting the right med for the individual. But it's absolutely not the same as taking medication for a physical illness.

There are other ways to treat attention deficits than by medication, too. Some ideas are:

* regular exercise - burn off the excess energy so he can focus better. Even if he's not hyperactive, exercise could help burn off mental energy that can cause distraction.

* sensory integration activities - sometimes attention issues can be caused by sensory processing issues (which are near-universal in AS), either oversensitivity (can't tune things out) or sensory cravings. I know one little boy with ADHD who craves vestibular (sense of balance) stimulation, such as spinning, and seems to focus better for awhile after he's gotten plenty of vestibular stimulation. He could spin for hours and not get dizzy. For someone like him, doing schoolwork in a swivel chair could really help him to focus better. Conversely, if they're oversensitive, they need an environment free of distractions to focus.

* harnessing interests - a lot of people with attention problems can focus better if they're inherently interested in the activity. This is not a choice, as some people think, but it is a strength that can be harnessed. If you make the schoolwork relevant to the person's interests, it will make it easier to focus.

* appropriate challenges - since you mention he has an IQ of 123, you should know that some kids with high IQs find it really hard to focus on work that is too easy for them. It's common to see an improvement in attention once the difficulty of schoolwork more closely matches their abilities. Since he's on the autism spectrum, too, he probably has skill scatter (some skills better than others) which makes it harder to match challenges to ability level. But if you get him assessed on academic functioning, you'll be able to find out what grade level he's at in each subject area, and be able to better determine what kind of classes would be an appropriate challenge in each area.

Does your son also have anxiety?

as an ex-physician, i know that the age when people are considered old enough to make their own medical decisions is 14. i would see a 14 y. o. without their parents and only share with the parents what the teen allowed. forcing meds on someone who is almost an adult seems unethical. i would stick with persuasion rather than punishment.

About the anxiety question - I wrote a long answer, maybe it's being checked by a monitor or maybe I lost it somewhere in cyberspace. My asnwer is no, that he's a pampered kid, and that he one who has the anxiety and worries is me. He's just a happy kid who wants to work on his computer. While I pill-up to deal.

to the ex-doctor, thanks, that gives me a perspective. But i dont think that in spain they feel that way.

I have AS but I also think my younger son has a mild case of it. He doesn't have problems from it and isn't interested in even finding out about it. He's about to be 21 next month and I've suspected this for a few years. He's got pretty bad ADHD so the meds were a must do thing. He couldn't even concentrate to read something he was interested in without them. He wasn't hyper though. Just always distracted.

I think people who are all against making him are either not parents, or parents who may not see the importance of these kinds of meds. Or some people may have had meds forced on them on the past and associate this situation with their own. Since he's 15 and you said he's a very immature 15 I would most certainly make him take them. That's the common sense thing to do. And yes having control over your own body and meds is a right but its also important to remember that it's not like yours forcing something harmful on him, and it is pretty important. You want him to be able to finish high school and do good in college so he doesn't end up on the street I'm sure. In that case you need to make the decision that would best lead to that. Too many people confuse serious adult rights with minor kids issues. Common sense is what's needed and common sense should override other things. Do what you have to do to help your kid.

Ritalin is not anphetamine but it is a stimulant. It's also harsher feeling than amphetine. Adderall is amphetamine and dextroamphetamine, and vyvanse is lisdexamfetamine dimesylate. They all feel differently and they all act differently. Adderall is what is usually sold and taken as speed by folks who do pills, and some will buy Ritalin but its not the same feeling. There is the jitteriness and energy but not the euphoria that adderall can cause. A lot of kids were on vyvanse the same time as my son and nobody was jittery or anything. Some felt a good mood type thing like you get from speed but nobody got the speed buzz from it. I've taken it for energy when he's had some left and it worked for that for me but there wasn't a speed buzz either. I don't think he would feel anything from it and if he does it would only be the first couple days till his body gets used to it.

I wouldn't worry about it and I also wouldn't make much of a big deal about the drug itself around him. Of course let him know you take his concerns seriously but that you have also done your due diligence and you know its the best thing for him to give it a try. Give him a chance to talk to a Dr but then put your foot down. This may not be insulin but its important to your child's future.

And yes herbal stuff can sometimes work for people but if it was as effective as actual medicine then that's what doctors would prescribe instead. It might work on mild cases but its not the same thing. And yes I know that kind of thing is where our meds come from originally but had you rather take penicillin or eat mildy bread?

I wish I could tell something positive lets just say I am speaking as somebody that was that immature 15 year old that resisted treatment and I definitely regret it now. The spectrum is a weird thing, he might be 15 and he might have the IQ of a college professor but have the emotional maturity of a preteen at the same time, what priorities you'll have when your 24 for example are going to be completely different. I don't know how it is in Spain but in the US once you turn 18 most of the services for autism dry up except for the most developmentally disabled, Medicaid provides nothing, so it really is imperative to get the help you need in place before you are 18 because there isn't much opportunity if he comes to the realization too late which is a really sad thing since it just wasn't anything I thought twice about at the time.

I have gone to community college, I've dropped before and again like I said it just was a lack of maturity and just a lack of support because my high school did not help me at all when it comes to the transition. I've been with VocRehab for awhile and I've gone back to school, I've done well grade wise but it takes a toll and this semester I only 1 class at 1 time so I'm the stress level is a lot lower. It's tough, I really don't know what to say. My situation is too bleak and I don't want to depress you, there is more than just being on the spectrum the befell my unfortunate situation that have made things a lot tougher too.

You're his parent and you can make the decision for him, bargaining isn't a bad thing and like I said just frame it as an experiment and if it doesn't then stop so there shouldn't be this pressure if he is genuinely concerned about the side effects but if he's like me at that age it could be any reason since I saw it as a way for me to leverage the situation. Maybe he'd be convinced if he thought he was coming out ahead in the situation, do this get X. I think your son can do all those things in time with the right support and accommodations.

I graduated high school with 1.9 GPA , my withdrawal and rebellion has really made my life a lot harder and I've wasted so much time. I regretted the decisions I made relatively quickly, I was honestly was so embarrassed by it that I could even admit that for a long time before I really reached out for help. I've been worst advocate for myself, I'm a lot smarter than both my parents when it comes things you might find in a book but it didn't mean I knew what was right for myself when I was 15. I feel for you mothers, you have to fight so much for your child and everyone has opinion including even your child but if you truly believe in your heart that this will help your child then do it because they might not be able decision themselves at this time and I don't believe anybody wants to hurt their child so I don't the potential side effect outweigh the potential benefits. If it were a drug like risperdal there might be some reason to pause because awful awful side effects it has but ritalin I don't think is really that harmful. I was mostly worried about getting fat and growing breasts with the crap they wanted to give me, I don't regret not taking that stuff but I have experimented with stimulant like prescriptions I feel it has helped me and I am interested in trying in more specific ADD medication such as ritalin or adderral altho I am scared of what that might to my anxiety.

Your son is a human being, he can make his own decisions regarding whether he wants to take medication or not, and not taking ADHD meds is not going to kill him. YOU want him to take them because YOU want him to achieve YOUR ideal of success. With ADHD meds or not, he MAY or MAY NOT achieve this. In fact, since the medications he has been prescribed are amphetamines, powerful STIMULANTS that are often ABUSED, it may be better to see how he does without them. You can't force him to take them, that would be INHUMANE.

My suggestion? Allow him to talk it over with a doctor, then they can discuss the risks, benefits, likelihood of side effects, etc. Aspies like having the facts laid out in front of them, and being able to make informed decisions. This is how we operate. We are creatures of logic.

Not that I want to go too far down this rabbit hole b/c otherwise the discussion will get way off topic, but it really is possible to just believe that teens should have some say over their own bodies. If someone believes in teen girls having the right to make reproductive health decisions for themselves without parental consent or coercion, (see what I mean about the potential rabbit hole), which many people do, although I know not all people do; it is not really a large leap to say that teens should have input on other health decisions as well.

I am well aware that many kids are well-served by ADHD meds, but I think that a teen who is frightened about potential side-effects from a drug should be persuaded with facts and reason. Even if he is immature for his age, a 123 IQ means he ought to be able to understand logic and can participate in his own health care decisions.