Please listen, parents. Hate on me for it if you want.

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lol, it's fine. Even Socrates and I can have fallacious reasoning as well. Even what he believed was limited by his experiences and his geographical area. When I really do think about what you said I will have to refute my own point on this and accept your point based upon an incident I know about and just thought of. I will have to question and revise this hypothesis then.

New hypothesis: No rational thinking person who does not lack empathy wishes evil or harm to come to their children.

My parents didn't know I had aspergers...aside from a couple obvious instances, one where a preschool teacher was singling me out and mentally abusing me that my mom somehow found out about and took me out of that situation which I see as a good thing. But aside from that I wasn't treated as a kid with autism at all....I didn't have my parents stepping in when I had problems with bullies or school staff and teachers being in on it more or less or simply not doing anything to help.

Of course I tried fighting back, since most of it was verbal I tried very hard to argue against their insults, try to use good come backs, and all that but usually just ended up being called 'ret*d' or people would just humiliate further. I think I probably would have benefited from having some help with the constant bullying and they should have been held accountable for their actions. There were some more physical incidents...but not as much as all the verbal abuse.

I don't agree with the notion parents should just stay out of their kids problems, it can much of the time be too much for the child to handle. Some people can't always 'fight' back that doesn't mean they deserve to be bullied and their parents should abandon them in a tank of sharks to fend for them self so to speak.

As it stands what I experienced did a lot of damage, being left to my own devices to somehow deal with it...just increased my depression, anxiety and caused me suicidal feelings and made me less able to deal with the traumatic event that caused my PTSD. Essentially all that only served to help with all the current problems I have. Parents should be aware of their child's individual needs...if they can be taught to fight back sufficiently enough to deal with the problem great, but not everyone is capable of that also sometimes you have a large majority of the school against you kind of ridiculous to expect a child to defend them self alone in that situation in most cases. Also why shouldn't people who use bullying tactics be held accountable for their actions...what would that hurt? It seems much of the time the person receiving the abuse gets blamed and penalized.

You know, you do (or at least claim to do) some pretty messed-up stuff. Stuff I'm proud to say I've learned not to do, stuff I'll take my kids to the woodshed if they pull while I'm still strong enough to take a whack at 'em.

I've done some pretty messed-up stuff too, most of which has come from not listening to my own good sense.

By and large, though, I have to give you credit on this one.

I've beaten the odds for an Aspie. So have all the Aspies in my family.

I think it has a lot to do with growing up being told, "You are just as good as anyone else and I love you. But that was a really dips**t thing you just did. Don't do that again. You should have _____________. Next time, you might try _____________. Now go get 'em, tiger lilly!"

Overprotectiveness (a common parenting strategy across the board these days) doesn't do any more good than being thrown to the wolves without guidance or support (which is probably where all the overprotective parents came from-- fess up, ladies, how many of you were latchkey kids back in the 80s?? I was... and I'm constantly fighting overprotective tendencies).

Love them. Kiss 'em, hug 'em, maybe give 'em more than three months when they have to move home (at least, if they pay rent and chip in with labor). Teach them NOT to do some of the things that have gone down down in Faulkner's Nightmare.

But, for the love of the kids, let's roll back the hypervigilant zero-tolerance atmosphere and let 'em burn their asses and sit on the blisters before the stove gets too hot, fall while they're close to the ground, et cetera et cetera.