17-month old difficulty with same-aged socializing

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I have AS. My son is 17 months and I believe he has AS traits, possibly enough to reach a diagnosis, possibly not. He's having some difficulties socializing at the playground. Similar-aged children approach him and he doesn't seem to know how to respond. At times he wants to be picked up for comfort, at times he just looks in another direction. Also, mostly when other children are playing I get the feeling that he doesn't know how to join in.

My wife has a large extended family and he usually does well with the older cousins who come over or when we visit. But they are excited to play with him and there are no issues for him about how to join in. And they make him the center of activities. Same-aged cousins he seems to prefer playing on his own to playing with them.

Does anyone have suggestions for how we might help him socialize with other children in a neutral environment and same-aged children?

Thanks,

George

I don't think children this age really socialize. If I remember correctly, its still mostly parallel play, or maybe curiosity and mimicing, but not much give and take interaction. Since he does well with family I wouldn't force the issue; there are numerous reasons he might not be comfortable engaging other kids on the playground. If it becomes clear he WANTS to, but doesn't know how, then you can intervene for him: "I see you are having fun scooping the sand. My son, Z, likes to do that, too. Why don't you two play together?" At this age parents still do most of the facilitating and most "friendships" are still determined by the parent's friendships.

Play groups are good for toddlers because they have the opportunity to get comfortable with a set and limited group of children, if you don't think your son would find it too overwhelming. My son always enjoyed his playgroup.

is this the age where they "parallel play"? I can't remember...Google "parallel play" because they will play side by side but not together (before they play together), maybe that is what is happening

here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_play

in college I worked in a preschool as a teacher's aide - and in the 2 yr old class this was the common way to play - in the 3/4 class they started to play together

i would call parallel play a form of socializing. he seems to remove himself to a separate space more than other children his own age. though he seems more comfortable indoors in a playroom and is more likely to interact in some manner there than he is outdoors where he tends to freeze when other children approach.

Hey George!

I am an aspie, and have a 16 mths old, so we are the same!

First, I asked the lady who diagnosed me, and she said two and a half was the earliest for diagnosis.

Second my baby is in a group of babies 6 mths older for playgroup time. And to get me out of the house.

And these children, at 21 - 22 mths, are only just barely beginning to think about doing things together. And this is still more doing things with the same toys at the same time than co-operating. NONE of them did anything NEAR each other when they were my babas age. Some of them even cried when other babas came too near. :p

As for older kids? My baba can't play with her own age, or any toddlers. But kids of 5 - 10 she is weak for, because they play with her. They either act funny for her, or follow her pointing to do things for he like building bricks. They facilitate her communication where a toddler can't.

I wouldn't worry at all about this aspect.

I also wouldn't worry about this at all yet. Make sure he has plenty of opportunities to socialize (like a play group). Get down on the floor and play with him, modelling good child play behaviour yourself. And then just relax and enjoy watching him learn and develop.