Having a VERY bad night!

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The evening began as it always does, quiet and completely on routine, dinner at 5:30, outside until 6:30, bath at 6:30.... He HATES bath, so it starts, huge tantrum all the way up the stairs. Get through that, then it's computer time until 8:00, neurologist tells me that because of his sleep disturbances, we need to turn off all electronics 2 to 3 hours before bed, and we shouldn't even try to get him to bed before 10, calls it compressed sleep, no explanation. at 8:00 we have a story and start the get in bed fight with Kyle. Tonight, it started out that he wanted to play with his little sister, I didn't argue, just told him no fighting. They played until 8:30, when he hit her for being loud and "hurting his ears". Now, it's 11:15 and he's telling me that he quits school because his class is too loud and it hurts his ears. He's 6 years old. The school refuses to consider his sensory issues in his IEP because we are still on the waiting list for evaluation. I'm pulling my hair out, trying VERY hard not to start yelling at him, mainly because I know that it hurts his ears. His hearing is very sensitive, I can't vacuum floors when he's home, and if sirens happen he's under a bed with hands over ears screaming from the pain. I get it, he's always been like this. It goes along with him wanting the ceiling fan on even when it's already 65 degrees in the house, says he's sweating even though he's obviously cold, it soothes him, as an infant, I would have to take him to a friend's house because I didn't have a ceiling fan and she did and it was the only thing that would calm him. We nearly lived at her house at times. I understand these things because he's always been this way.

I know that the bad night is coming from having to take away the meds that they gave him to help him sleep because he had a bad reaction to it. It was supposed to help him sleep at night, Monday at the doctor's office he slept through the entire appointment and his heart rate was 58, the nurse flipped out, the doctor was extremely concerned, but said it was a reaction to the medication, so he made us stop it, now we're back to no sleep. I will call the neurologist and ask for something else because he still has 2.5 weeks left of school for the year, then 2 weeks visiting family that refuse to understand him at all, and I do need sleep at some point.

I'm really sorry to hear that things have been such a struggle. I don't have any children myself, so I have no advice to offer, just wanted to offer some support.

Thank you Bee, that is very kind of you, I have him calm now, he's almost asleep on the couch with the ceiling fan and cartoons on, he doesn't like the quiet, so I have to give him something, even though the neuro tells us not to.

First off, my condolences to your problem. If you are looking for a sleep aid of some kind then you might want to consider a weighted blanket, or if you don't have that any old heavy blanket. They are very relaxing and comforting. I love using a heavy blanket in winter because it is so warm, soft, and it just feels nice.

If you want some medication of some kind then consider melatonin. It is a natural chemical produced by the body which helps with sleep. It is commonly found in things like turkey or warm milk. They also make it in concentrated tablets available at and walmart or drug store. It is pretty safe, but as with all medication you should be cautious and watch for side effects.

Furthermore, you said you got this advice:

I have also heard this before and it doesn't make any sense to me. I am on the computer, or watching the TV until I go to bed and it helps me to fall asleep by tiring me out. I am not sure how sitting in a dark room is supposed to make you tired, because when you are sitting in a dark room you aren't using any energy. All you are doing is sitting there bored trying to fall asleep with too much energy to do so. It is better to drain the energy out by doing something so that you can fall asleep. I mean does the doctor turn off his computer and TV 3 hours before he goes to sleep? How are you supposed to drain the energy without doing anything?

There are also many times I have fallen asleep watching TV, so I don't think it somehow keeps you from sleeping.

My older Aspie daughter used to have to sleep with a fan on....I finally bought her a "noise machine". It had white noise, whales, crickets, the ocean...I think I bought it at the Discovery store. Also have you tried a weighted blanket?....we had sleep issues with my 7 year old Aspie for years. We finally got him a weighted blanket and strung LED Christmas lights in his room. He also wants his 5 year old Autie sister in his room with him. I let her fall asleep with me then we move her to her bed in his room. He also has a cat who sleeps under the covers with him....Dont know how open to animals you are but sometimes they really help. My 5 year old, strangely enough ignores our animals, but my 7 year old adores his cat....we got her last year for his birthday.
I support the Autism Service Dogs of America because I think they help so many kids. We also have a dog but my son is a cat person....he even tends to "meow" a lot .
Hope you find a solution!

Tracker, thank you, we do end up letting him watch tv until he falls asleep, it seems to help him fall asleep faster. I have been trying to get him sleeping without medication for 3 years now. I haven't tried a weighted blanket, I am going to start looking for one today. We were giving him melatonin off and on for a while, he usually still has a hard time falling asleep, but once he does, he stays asleep, so I might have to go back to it.

liloleme, Thank you, we have 2 guinea pigs, 2 dogs and a cat...I was a Veterinary Assistant before we discovered that I would have to stay home for at least a few more years, so I would bring home any unwanted animals that came in. 1 of the guinea pigs lives in his room, and we happily let the cat and dogs sleep with him, his issue is that the dogs won't go to bed until all the people in the house are in bed, and the cat is nocturnal. He says he would sleep better with one of them, we just can't seem to get any of them to go to bed when he does.

Update -- I got Kyle to talk to me about things this morning after he calmed down. He experienced some sensory overload at school yesterday that made him extremely anxious about going today. The class got too loud for him and his ears hurt, he was afraid it would happen again today and make his ears bleed. I let him stay home today because he didn't really get any sleep last night and because he was making himself sick with anxiety this morning. I think I will have to go into the school with him tomorrow morning and talk to the teacher about this new anxiety.

He'll probably outgrow the sensory issues to a large degree, and part of the deal with the bath probably isn't the bath itself, but difficulty with transitions.

I never wanted to start doing something and I never wanted to stop doing it....thus sleep.

I didn't sleep at night when I was younger, and even now my natural tendency is to be awake at night.

The neurologist is trying to do two things.
1. Bore him.
2. Tire him.

Bore him.
When his brain is being stimulated he probably finds it very difficult to fix his attention to something else. There is a lot of momentum. So anything that will capture his interest must be off so his brain will get bored.

Tire him.
I can only go to sleep when I'm actually tired. If I get in bed before then, I'll never get tired and I'll be awake all night. I'll fall asleep sometime around 6am. However, if I don't get in bed too early, I'll usually end up getting tired around 1:30am (IF my schedule is good) and I'll have a 45 minute window of opportunity to fall asleep. If I miss it, I won't fall asleep until 9am.

my 14-year old DJ Aspero, as he calls himself lately, has similar problems for,well, since he was born.only, we had periods of too deep sleeps, hard waking-ups, nightmares, and now we have pretty much all together and of course he feels like staying up late watching TV or, even worse, talking to me or to himself - at loud! analyzing some"problem or situation of the day".
i work in school, and even beside that i get very tired taking care of the other child plus as you know yourself, aspies are special kind of beings and they need a lot, in every meaning of that word. i understand you totaly when you say that you would like to sleep properly, many times i feel like that.even though, i think, with time, you get used to the situation,and now i survive day little by little. years ago i was on the edge.
family helps little. unfortunately, my husband and me stand united, as we like to joke, and the rest of world is usualy on the other side.
but, hang on!life is a process.
and wrong planet is really a place where you can meet kind friends.´cause, people who understand you and share their lives with you like that are really friends.
be well, mamamoo

Could you try to get him ear plugs or headphones to help with the sensitive hearing?

I am really hoping that he will outgrow the sensory stuff. I talked to the principal, nurse and teacher about the noise levels and Kyle's anxiety and we worked out a plan, if it starts to get too loud, he can go spend some time with the nurse or principal until he thinks it's okay to go back to class. That seems to be working pretty well. Of course, I'm not exactly sure how bright the teacher and nurse are now. He got a headache yesterday, put his head down on his desk and told his teacher that his brain hurt. She sent him to the nurse, the nurse called me and said she didn't understand what he meant, so I went up there to get him, before I signed him out, I talked to him, he told me "my brain hurts". I went over to the nurse and explained to her that he has a headache, she said that she asked about the noise level and that the teacher said it was quiet. I told her that the noise level isn't going to make a difference if he already has a headache. She still didn't seem to grasp the concept, so I brought him home and gave him some tylenol.

I have started to adjust to the lack of sleep, learned to take naps while he's at school to try to make things run a little more smoothly for me.

Kyle doesn't like anything but his own hands to touch his ears, so we are trying to work that one out yet, but we will get it figured out eventually.

I try to take a nice epsolm salt bath for me and my son. He has Autism and then we give him his melatonin( it works nicely and I take it too) he has a weighted blanket and we have him in his nice quiet dark room where I generally lay with him til he goes to sleep(holding him very tightly) I also give him Magnesium with his melatonin and that seems to help.

I know nothing is worse then breaking routine but maybe that would help. I hope your sleep issues resolve soon. Sometimes I hire a babysitter just so I can catch up on sleep