School help in Chicago

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My 6 year old son was diagnosed with Aspergers at the end of June. We were hoping to keep him enrolled in the private school that we have him in now, but it's not working. I met with the 1st grade teacher the Monday before school started. A week later, we had a meeting with the principal and teacher again. They seemed to be on board with what my son's issues were, and were willing to work with us. They know he has anxiety issues, and is easily distracted and tends to get lost in thought. Last Thursday he had a meltdown in class. He was distracted (as he usually is) and when the teacher reminded him to concentrate and focus, he lost it. Fell out of his seat and rolled on the floor in a meltdown. They called me at home, asking what they should do. I don't even know what will work for him. They finally told me they didn't think it was going to work out, and they don't think they can meet his needs. The next day, Friday, was a wonderful day for him, no meltdowns, he did what he was supposed to do and it was all good. But there is no guarantee the good behavior will continue, so we are looking at other options.

So now I'm stuck, they pretty much don't want him back at this school, he's too disruptive to the students. I don't know where to send him now. Chicago Public Schools are not an option for us. The one in our district is overcrowded and I'm afraid he will get lost there. I don't know if there are any "Asperger Friendly" schools in the Chicago/NW Suburban area. I was looking into Montessori schools, but don't even know what to think about those.

If anyone can give me leads or recommendations, I would greatly appreciate it. He's a bright, smart, funny kids. Loved by everyone. He has his bad days, and good days, as we all do. But I just want to find him a school that will accept him, and will work with us on his issues. Thanks in advance.

If your son has been happy there, I wonder what the odds are of getting a working "escape clause" in place. Lots of us have them in our children's IEPs. This is the concept: the school provides a designated location that the child may go to at any time, for any reason, without requesting permission. If he gets up and leaves, it is understood that this is where he is going. In exchange, the child takes responsibility for recognizing his own escalating stress and removing himself to the escape place before he melts down.

In second grade my son's escape place was an anti-room, right next to his classroom, and that was usually quiet and empty. His teacher sat him right next to the anti-room door. He could bolt anytime. He rarely did; just having that option provided a lot of comfort.

The location should be easy to access and suitable for reducing sensory stress.

Private schools have no training or resources for dealing with certain special needs, but are often open to ideas that parents can provide. Can't hurt to ask.

Beyond that ... I know nothing about what is available in Chicago.

I'm very sorry to hear that your son may have to leave a school where he does well because they lack the resources he needs. Have you checked to see what options are available to you in CPS because of your son's disability? It may well be that a child with a 504 or an IEP won't even be sent to your district school. He might even qualify to go to a magnet or charter program, who knows? (I assume you know the trick of applying to every single magnet and charter school; often, you'll get accepted at one or two.)

School budgets are a mess in IL; I know in our North suburb SPED was just cut right after they decided on an inclusion model (brilliant, right?) We have fewer classroom aides and resources are spread even thinner than they were before.

It always bothered me when my teachers would disrupt my day dreaming and try to get me to pay attention. When you have to deal with school all day long, you learn to zone out and get lost in your head as a way to deal with the environment. And when the teacher keeps pestering you and trying to get your attention it completely sabotages your ability to zone out and relax. Its very stressful and annoying.

So yeah, I would recommend encouraging your son to zone out and get lost in his head when there isn't anything worth paying attention to (which is about 95% of elementary school). And ask his teacher to stop bothering and just let him be. This is probably a bad idea when your child goes off to college, because in that scenario, he needs to pay attention to learn something worth learning. But in elementary school, especially 1st grade, there really isn't anything worth learning or paying attention to. I spent the vast majority of my early education zoned out, and aside from annoying my teachers with my complete lack of attention, there were no ill effects.

we cant just encourage kids to zone out and not pay attention, especially at the age of 6. he does not have all the knowledge he will need once he is beyond elementary school, and unless he is an intensive learner outside of school, which most kids are not, he will need the information they are trying to teach him. you also do not want to encourage a 6 yr old to determine for himself what is worth learning or paying attention to, this is not the age for that.

obviously he needs redirection when hes lost focus, but ive found its important for my asd son HOW that redirection occurs. ive noticed my son AND my SO both will often perceive even the small corrections as large criticisms. and i know that if my son were lost in his thoughts and was suddenly pulled back to reality with what he feels as a harsh correction, yeah hes gonna melt onto the floor. but if his attention can be redirected in a positive manner, for instance pointing out how well he answered something or how neat/improved his handwriting is, that will often pull his attention back to the task at hand without making him feel that he was being disciplined or corrected. challenging him also helps keep him focused, whether thats doing something in a certain amount of time or faster than me. and of course rewards.

i would say talk to the teacher about how the redirects are being done, and find out if the methodology could have caused the meltdown. if thats the case, then she is just as much to blame for the resulting behavior.

But that is the problem. he does have almost all the knowledge he will need once he is beyond elementary school. The vast majority of what is taught in elementary school is a complete waste of time for everybody involved. I mean, do you remember your 1st grade history class? I know I don't. Aside from basic mathematics (which can easily be taught in less then an hour per week) there isn't anything worth learning.

The history classes are oversimplified, and stripped of all useful information until they are just a bunch of facts to memorize without any context.

The reading classes do nothing more then 'give the child a book and tell him to go read it'. And you don't need to be in school to do that.

The handwriting is an outdated and seldom used skill that is barely worth practicing.

The 'science' classes are much like history classes in that they are oversimplified, and stripped of all useful information until they are just a bunch of facts to memorize without any context.

And I don't think that the music, art, or gym classes are all that important to learn about.

I hate to sound cynical and disgruntled, but I had to put up with this ridiculous waste of time while stuck in a hostile environment. And I really don't think that the 'lessons' learned in elementary school are worth the problems associated with schooling. So in my opinion, if your child wants to zone out, and ignore what is being taught, then he should get a reward for prioritizing his peace of mind over the waste of time that is elementary school. That is what I did and it worked out very well for me. It is much better to zone out and save your sanity then to get overloaded and have a meltdown.

I don't mean to say that learning is a waste of time. I happen to be a big fan of learning. I am just saying that the current educational system that the US has is not conducive to actually learning. All it is at this point is a day care center where children are force fed useless, and out of context information until they can regurgitate it for a standardized test which has no bearing on anything practical or useful.

Sorry if I don't have much in the way of useful advice, but it is hard to give advice on how to make a broken system work.

I agree about CPS. Are you willing to move to get into a better district? In the NW Suburbs I can suggest Wood Dale, Itasca, Lombard, or Bloomingdale. I know you don't want your child in public school but there are some benefits. The biggest benefit is access to district covered therapies, 504 plans or IEPs which guarantee and equal education by law.