IEP tomorrow

Post Reply New Topic

It's going to be just wonderful - the school psychologist is going to give her recommendations for managing my son's Asperger's. I've heard a preview, and it sounds exactly like the IEP meeting we had 3 months ago when I brought my son's therapist in to explain how to use social stories. I am extremely frustrated with the school for their lack of follow through. I have the rest of the day off after the meeting - I'm thinking I'll take a really long nap or maybe crack open a bottle of wine. I don't want to get my hopes up because I'm sure they'll just be crushed. 75% of the meeting will be a recap of all the data they collected on my son, or maybe they'll just read from the reports that have already been distributed to everyone in the room, and the rest of the time will be me trying to argue that, for example, my son should have a notepad on his desk to jot down his thoughts instead of blurting them out, which the school will resist as vehemently as if I'd suggested the teacher cut off her own feet and teach while hobbling along on the bloody stumps. I feel like it's going to be such a waste of time.

Sorry for the downer post - I'm just getting a killer headache from banging my head against the wall trying to advocate for my son.

I think you hit the nail on the head! Seemingly, the smallest, most reasonable change, and I guess they believe lack of 'discipline,' whatever, if then give an inch, within three months kids will be vandalizing the school! It is really incredible this 'authority' mindset, really control nut to the nth.

It is positively exhausting advocating for yourself or a member of your family. Any possible way, a nonschool authority, like a coach, a minister (even if you're not religious), your son's scoutmaster or cubmaster? It's kind of like the attorney-to-attorney respect principle, it makes for a completely difficult dynamic.

Best of luck with this difficult situation, these stick-in-the-mud people!

Note: NOT A PARENT, but have lived the life of a person on the spectrum and a pretty good guy

This time I'm on my own, but I'm looking into getting a case manager for my son, which would take a lot of the pressure off me.

Discipline is going to be another really hard thing to get them to change. My son was kicked off the bus for a couple of days. The principal called me, obviously thrilled with herself, to ask what my son thought of not being able to go on the bus. He has a 45 minute bus ride. I told her he was happy to have an extra half hour to watch cartoons in the morning. She couldn't even wrap her head around it. The idea that being pulled from a chaotic classroom into a small office, even if he's being yelled at, is such a relief to him that I can tell if he got "in trouble" as soon as he comes home from school because he's so much happier. They're just clueless, and they refuse to listen to anything that's not their own party line. There is no way my son is the first one they have dealt with - might be the first on with such a big pain in the neck for a mother. It's just so much easier to do things the same old way even though they've got documentation that my son will meltdown, that they'd rather ship him off to the principal's office every other day or so than make the modifications he needs.

Thanks for the well wishes.

I hear you. My son is bugged whenever his desk is bumped. So much so that he feels the need to go touch the other person's desk back. Apparently he has gotten very stealth with it and will do it on his way to the sharpener, etc. I came up with a possible solution to give him a notebook and let him draw himself touching the other person's desk. He loves to draw. We didn't know if it would work, but we thought it was worth a try. The teacher agreed. That lasted one day and then she decided to use it as an incentive and it is put away unless he earns it. He also kept telling me all year that the special ed teacher he has social group with before class each morning kept telling him he could come jump on the trampoline any time he wanted. For some reason, this never clicked with me until Dec. I then recalled that it was mentioned in the IEP that he coud have breaks when he felt he needed it. I mention this to the teacher, who then wanted it to be an incentive too. I had to talk to the special ed teacher and remind her that the point of this was to help on the bad days. He wouldn't need it if he was having a good day. I also told her how he doesn't really need the motor activity. He really likes ot have a quiet moment to read. Thankfully, she was on top of it immediately and has scheduled him 3 small breaks throughout the day. He goes to the special ed room and can choose to either read quietly or do some motor movement. Of course, it is still hit or miss as some days he tells me he only got 1 of his breaks because the day was just too busy. I really expected better f his teacher. This is her first year to have a regular classroom. Prior, she was a special ed teacher. While she is very understanding and calm with my son, I would have thought her more enlightened.

My husband volunteered in his class a few weeks ago for the day. Now granted, it was a Friday of the last 9 weeks and a lot of extra stuff was going on in the school. However, he said he didn't know how anyone in the class ever learned anything. The class is apparently very chaotic. He said our son missed a video on Christopher Columbus as he goes to Social Skills the first 20 minutes of school each day. He only caught a few minutes and then the whole class had to write about the video. My husband said our son slopped a few sentences down and turned it in. He never even mentioned he didn't see most of the video. I had to email her about it that night. I got the pat answer of how anytime a student is pulled out, they are required to allow them to make it up. Yes, that is what is suppose to happen, but getting the teacher to always implement is something totally different.

I also miss the simple classroom rows we had when I was in school. Now, all the teachers have to creative with their seating and rearrange it frequently. Apparently, the configuration now is all the desk in an almost complete square, with one small opening. Guess who has that first desk where all the kids walk in and out every time they need to do anything or turn anything in the classroom. My son is in that first desk. The kid who hates his desk bumped. Makes perfect sense! I was livid when my husband told me this. I had no idea. The set up was entirely different the last time I was in the room.

I would homeschool, but my son loves to be social and my husband did say the other kids in class seem to like my son a lot. It is exhausting making sure they do what they say they will do. I too had all these amazing recommendations fromt eh psychologist. They are great unil you realize you have to fight the teachers to get real implementation.