Having a disabled child with out ASD? (adoption)

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Do you have a child that's disabled but not ASD. Would you put your child up for adoption?

I would think it would be much more difficult/impossible for a disabled child to be adopted than for a typical child?

Not sure of your meaning? From what I understand, the decision to place a baby for adoption has most to do with birth parents feeling they are not ready to take on the role of parent, and who want their baby to be raised in a better situation than they can provide.

NO!

I wouldn't even terminate a pregnancy if my baby was incompatible with life outside my womb. No I couldn't. I will always love all my offspring equal.





Why do you ask this?

A friend of mines have a ASD. She have a 7 year old daughter with Angelman syndrome and a 5 year old son with classic autism. She is very nasty to her daughter. When we go out together I have to buy her daughter food, because she refuse to pay for it. My friend seem to always say to her child " If your dumb ass don't talk you won't get s**t." Her daughter is completely non verbal. Her son is also non verbal however he is treated like a king with her. I do know her daughter father was abusive to my friend and ran out on her before the baby was born. Well the little boy father is not with her, he do visit and pay child support. I told my friend her daughter can come live with me for a week. This was in January, she refuses to even come visit her child. She talking to me about adopting her and I must say joanne is doing so much better in my care. she knows a few signs now. Are other ASD parents like this.


btw this is what angleman syndrome look like.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gMxfEsq5Uk[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bCbZvC6LqI[/youtube]

That makes more sense.

To answer your question as best as is possible: unfortunately, there are people who decide not to be good parents: they can't be explained by any particular diagnosis or demographic. I am sorry about this horrible situation, and I hope everyone involved gets the help they need.

I've never heard of this type of situation before, but if you truly want to adopt this child and the mother is willing to give her up I don't see why you shouldn't adopt her. I would consult a lawyer about how to handle this situation (getting the adoption papers together and arranging a court hearing if necessary). You could also foster the child if adoption is not possible, but adopting her would give you assurance that you can keep her.

ASD doesn't make anyone a good or a bad parent. All sorts of other things go into the equation. Your friend obviously does not want or cannot be a good parent to this child. If you love the child and are willing to do what it takes to give her the best life possible, and you have the desire to adopt her, then don't let ASD or disability stop you.

This is absolutely mortifying. I would've thought that a mom with ASD would show a little more compassion towards nonverbal children regardless of their condition. This suggests that she's psychologically messed up from the abuse she suffered from the girl's father to such a degree that she is taking it out on the child of said father. That to me screams the need for therapy.

I hope that things work out for this girl and that you do get to adopt her. It would suck to lose her to the system or to stay with her mother considering how things are.

Thank you. My friend willingly went with me to court, to sign her rights over to me. so I'm gonna go forward in adopt in the near future. I confronted my friend about why she mistreated Joanne to begin with. She said mainly it's because she was a NT child who just pretended not to be verbal and to stim to make fun of asd kids. etc, I gave her a name of a good doctor she could talk to in get some help.

Given the difference in treatment between the two children, I suspect the mother's attitudes have more to do with the fact that one father is helping to support his child while the other is not.

Good for you!

I wish you many happy years parenting this special child. I am so happy that you will be there to give her the love she would otherwise have missed out on.

It will not be all roses, of course, parenting never is, and certainly not when special needs are involved, but it's amazing what our hearts can embrace when given the opportunity.

Good luck and congratulations on getting custody

Maybe we should come up with another way to abbreviate asperger's syndrome or just refer to it like other ASD's so it's not mixed up with this condition in general conversation.

My sister has quadriplegic cerebral palsy and she's adopted. My parents didn't think they could have biological kids, so they adopted my sister, then I came along about 2.5 yrs later. She was a drug baby and she had severe brain damage. I'm sure the biological parents would not be capable of taking care of her, so I could understand why they put her up for adoption. She is definitely much better off in our family than with a mother who got high during pregnancy. However if you have a stable life, I would question your aptitude as a parent if you decided to put your child up for adoption. She has a knack for making friends that I still have a hard time processing. It's like she's the one with the social IQ, but I'm the one with the legs. If you combine us we're a normal person!

From the perspective I have now, growing up with someone who is severely disabled taught me some valuable life lessons. We'd have to go to the children's hospital twice a week for several hours to get in all of her physical and occupational therapy. When she was young there was also speech therapy. On top of that, there were the severe learning disabilities. After seeing all those severely disabled kids who all seemed so happy--some were cancer amputees, others were congenital problems--having AS is a very small problem. I would always get whiny when people wold give my sister more presents during holidays (she's the one with the high social IQ) and my mom would remind me that I can run and jump and skip. All of the sudden the fact that my sister got a few extra toys was insignificant. My sister was my role model with how to deal with difficult situations. If she could be happy, then I could be happy as well.