kindergarten.... not going so well =(

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K, our 5 yo autie, started kindergarten last friday, and frankly, its not going well. the transition from headstart to kindergarten may be our downfall. we finally closed on our first house so we enrolled him at the elementary school just 5 blocks from our new house (havent moved in yet, still a month off) rather than the one he was going to attend that was next door to his headstart bldg and where he had OT and ST last year. so he is in a brand new school, all new staff to him, his class as *31* kids in it (sensory nightmare), and apparently his IEP from his last school absolutely sucks. his new school has been trying to work with him, he's sharing an aide with another student, but he has no services of his own yet. we werent too worried as he had no behavioral issues during his two years in headstart.

first two days were fine. then yesterday while waiting with his dad in front of the school for the doors to open, K bolted across the grass and made a beeline for our car with the sole intent of going home. his dad caught him and got him inside where he had a giant meltdown (only the second of his life). they finally got him calmed down enough that his dad left. early afternoon i got a call for us to come to the school, K was running around wildly, kicking and hitting the aide and being uncontrollable. we met with one of the resource teachers and principle and set up a mtg next week to start a new IEP.

today was difficult to get him to stay at school again, but his dad got him playing with legos and we slipped away. i talked to the resource teacher and told her i was concerned about the running, which is completely new to him as of yesterday. he has always been a wanderer, but not a runner. i said someone had to be watching him constantly as i was afraid he would make it outside and i was assured the aide would be with him all day.

again, early afternoon phone call. apparently K bolted again, this time making it outside the building before the aide caught up to him. she caught his arm, then tripped and fell, and banged herself up pretty good. K was pulled down but he got up and kept going and made it to the parking lot before the resource teacher and another staff caught him.

so, 4th day in, and hes already taken out one aide that isnt even his.

we now have an emergency IEP mtg for tomorrow morning. i dont even know how to address these brand new issues.

Get him out of there ASAP.

Maybe put things on hold until you can figure out what the best situation for him is? It is obviously a safety issue at this point, and he is incredible unhappy and the school is not ready to meet his needs.

sounds like my ss. the school had put locks on the doors so that if any student wanted out other than at recess they needed an adult to open the doors.

Your problem sounds like a mix of both my boys. (both aspies just like their dad). We gave up on school. Too many problems with getting them to understand anything and on 3 different occasions they put my kids lives at risk.


We homeschool now, best choice we ever made.

Can you wait another year and get related services at home (or daycare) in the mean time?

I have a 5yo aspie and we have decided to homeschool for this year. Not sure about next year, or forever, I just know he would have a rough time in a school environment right now.

Frustrating. The guess I'm sure you've already made is that something in the new situation is stressing him out. But the hard part will be figuring out what.

I wish you luck pin pointing the problem.

UGH!! !

We have been there, except DS was older and faster. He finally ran in front of cars, which was it for me. We still haven't found a good solution, and are keeping him home until we do.

Here is what I would do if I were you.

In the IEP meeting, ask to develop a transition plan where he can start school gradually, only going during preferred activities or with you there. Just get him familiar with his school before he has to stay the full day. My worry is that if this negativity continues, he may always perceive it that way even if it's an ok program and he's just reacting to the transition.

Btw you have their attention, so now is a great time to come in ready with a proposed solution.

My son did this at his first preschool. He bolted constantly. It was all sensory overload for him as far as I could tell. Once we started interventions to help with transitions and had him in regular OT, he was able to cope. my guess is that he's probably having some flare up with sensory stuff that you may have had under control in the past due to all the changes.

Poor guy. Poor mom. I hope you get something figured out soon.

This sounds like severe sensory overload to me. He is probably BSoDing within minutes of arriving there every morning. He really needs to be isolated to learn on his own and to avoid this high stress and potential long-term shutdown. At his age, I think that protecting him from sensory overload is more important than social development. Is homeschool an option? He's not going to get any social development when his brain is not working anyway.

Edit: I probably sound like a harbinger of doom in the above paragraph. Oops. But I just wanted to emphasize how horrible sensory overload is for a child. I have been there and done that, so I would urge all parents of autistic children to take this issue extremely seriously and to prioritize it above other issues, such as social development. First, do no harm.

homeschooling isnt an option. i work full time, and his dad is working on our house every day trying to get it ready for us to move (hud foreclosure, was habitable but in poor shape, needs work). once we move i will be cutting my hours in half or possibly not working at all for a while, but my job provides our housing right now so i have to stay full time until we move. and cant move until his dad gets the house ready. cant get the house ready unless kids are in school.

there is one other school we could try, but right now neither we nor the current school think its time to move there. it is a special needs school, and they do have a couple autism kindergarten classrooms. two teachers to five kids ratio. but the other kids are nearly all cognitively delayed, and the level of material is well below what K is already doing. so for now we are going to continue putting supports in to help him stay mainstream and see if we can get to a positive place at this school first.

the iep mtg yesterday morning went very well. i am SO glad we changed school districts. this one is proactive whereas the last school we had to fight to even get asd eligibility. they are setting him up with a visual schedule and putting sensory breaks in every 1 1/2 hours. most of those breaks will be in the resource room. there is a corner of the classroom that he will be allowed to go to thats separated by a bookshelf. he is allowed to do quiet alone activities while most of the large group activities are going on (things like songs and movement time) but will be at his table during actual academic activities. once we move, he will be picked up in the morning by the bus to help with the transition from home to school; SpEd bus so few kids, aides on board, and they will pick him up right at our house. its only 6 blocks from school so will be a short ride. they are going to start OT right away, and every day there will be someone at the school for backup if he is having a rough day and needs more one on one time (social worker, psychologist, ST, OT, etc).

i found out that on tuesday right before the bolting incident, they were in the gym. very loud and echo-ey, hectic with all the kids moving around. K was rolling on the floor, perfectly normal for an autistic child with proprioceptive sensory needs! he wouldnt stop rolling and his aide thought it was disruptive so she took him back to the classroom. thats when he made his move to escape. i told them not allowing him sensory activities when he is obviously showing he needs them is causing part of the stress on him and may have contributed to the running. we may be working on an alternative gym plan if gym continues to be a difficult time for him.

yesterday he did ok. we had a huge talk about safety and not running on the drive to school, and he didnt try to take off once. he stayed the entire day and they didnt need to call us to come get him. the resource teacher said he had a much better day. his mood was much better when i picked him up, too, i could see he was less stressed than the day before.

i let the iep team know that i think part of the issues he is having is actually the aide who has been with him. she doesnt understand him at all, and he doesnt seem to like her. she is a nice lady and all, just not a good fit for him. yesterday right after we got him to the classroom she approached us. K was being clingy and she had a very negative look on her face and make a comment about "see, he's already..." and he took one look at her and turned and headed for the door. shes also the one that made him stop rolling, and then chased him down when he ran and she caused him to fall. well, he has a long memory and isnt going to forget that, so at this point i think his relationship with her is doomed. thankfully, she is just a temporary aide until they hire one full time, as they didnt know he was attending school until two weeks before classes started.

soo..... here's hoping day 6 goes as well or better than yesterday.

Is your child on any meds? Just asking because my older son used to always get more hyper when he went up on his Prozac dose. Also, we tried stimulants with him, and that increased behavior issues. (We decided that regardless of whether he had comorbid ADHD, the behavioral problems caused by the stimulants canceled out any educational benefits).

Sounds like you have your hands full and that your husband needs to hurry up and finish the house so that you can have more time to deal with your son.

I agree with everyone else - sensory overload seems a good place to start.

Can they start him in the special ed room and transition him more slowly? 31 kids - good god. I'd probably be running for the parking lot too.

I agree--sensory overload is very likely.

My older son also used to have a lot of trouble with transitions. Last year, when he started first grade, he acted up for about the first three weeks of school and would grab my clothes and beg me not to leave him at school. Then he settled down and behaved great the rest of the year.

It is so scary when you suddenly have an issue you've never confronted before and have to find a way to keep everyone safe while you connect all the dot. I think all of us have probably been there at one point or other, but at least it seems like you're in front of it rather than behind.

I think the fact that the school took you seriously right away is a good sign, and I'm glad to hear subsequent days went better. I hope things continue on this path for you. 31 kids is a lot, no matter how you slice it.