Pro-Neurodiversity Autistic Parents?
Are there parents out there (I am sure there are) who are Autistic and pro-neurodiversity? I would like to hear from you. Since I have just started reading WP again I have not gone through all the posts but the links index looks useful. I did not see anything specifically about neurodiversity and Autistic parenting (or parenting by parents with other neurological differences and disabilities).
I'd say parents on this forum are much more leaning towards the neurodiversity side of things. It is important for children to gain success and independence, to be valued a person with thoughts and feelings. With this comes the balance between teaching NT protocols so that they understand them and can communicate with NTs in an NT dominated world and also meeting them in the middle and learning to understand THEIR perspective and experiences in a way that celebrates who they are.
I dont understand your post at all. Pro-neurodiversity? what the heck is that supposed to mean?
If it means, as NC_2010 implies that our children should have to learn to behave as "typical" children than no, Im not pro-that. I believe that the rest of the world should meet us half-way, I mean we are becoming a large part of society and I think that the people labeled as Neurotypical should learn about us just as we try to understand them.
I have many, what would be known as, NT, friends. I think we are all just people but we all have different ways of thinking.
Are you implying that we should have "sides". Maybe some people with Autism are tired of some people abusing them and that I understand. I wish that more people would take the time to understand. I do have Asperger's and Im glad my kids have so much assistance but as far as the general society accepting or understanding the way we are is a long way off. I dont think we should be expected to learn to think and act like another person, thats crazy and wrong. Why cant we be who we are?
I dont label people so much as NT, I use the word "typical" when talking about other kids at my childrens school in place of "normal" because there is no real "normal" under the definition of what that word implies.
My daughter could not speak, I gave her the tools to learn to communicate because she was very frustrated at times when we did not understand her....I did not work so hard for her to look "typical" I did it for her only. If I want to stimm now, I do....before I was told "stop that, you look weird"....I dont care if I look weird or if my kids do because this is who we are. They tell, so called, typical people to be themselves, I think we should be able to be ourselves too and bullying on either side is wrong. We need acceptance and understanding. When my son is stressed he twirls his hair, he is nine and sometimes he cries and gets upset over things that most typical nine year olds wouldnt but he uses words that most nine year olds dont even know yet and he doesnt lie or play mind games or try to manipulate me. My daughter flaps when she is happy and she yells, jumps and runs when she is stressed....if other people dont like that, I dont care.
I teach my children to accept who they are and I have explained to my son that some people will not understand him (he has been bullied). Its like if you child was a homosexual would you try to make them behave differently so that society would accept them?
Maybe this is what you are asking and maybe it is not. I am pro-accepting people for who they are
.
To me it means that people, whether Autistic, with other neurologically-based disabilities, and even "typical," are accepted for who they are. It's not so much a matter of taking "sides" as it is working for acceptance and anti-discrimination. I will try to write more later; I am having to not type very much because of overuse in the past week or so. I like what you wrote, just can't write as much as I would like.
One of the issues with parents identifying as autistic is that many of us were young adults before the definition of Aspergers was accepted (at least in the US - it was 1994 until it appeared in the DSM, and it wasn't even discussed widely by psychologists in English until 1981.) I would love to get a diagnosis, but I've found only one practitioner that will agree to offer an ADOS to an adult (although she is trained to work with children) and I'd have to pay $2K out of pocket; we just don't have that.
As for pro-neurodiversity, I don't think you're going to find lots of posts here addressing that specifically (I think there are at least one or two but doing a forum-specific keyword search is difficult) but I think the reason this community is here and not on some other board is that we value the direct responses from autistic people, and we are here looking to help our children become the best versions of themselves they can be, whatever that means for them - which implies to me that we are. That's a gross overgeneralization, of course, but it's what I think is happening here.
Parenting a kid on the spectrum is exhausting. I have it relatively easy compared to many here, but I'm constantly fighting DS's school, managing the constant appointments, using my detective skills and problem-solving skills to address the various issues that arise...and then I have to maintain our household, keep us all fed and clothed, etc. I just can't be an activist for autistic rights at the moment, though I'm very supportive of self-advocacy.
Mummy_of_Peanut
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From what I've read in this forum, I think the majority of the parents are as you describe. Some are on the spectrum, some not, some diagnosed some not, but in any case I would say most are 'pro-neurodiversity'. My daughter has had difficult-to-manage behaviour since she was really small and there have been major personal safety issues. The really difficult stuff is what would probably have pointed to ADHD and we've been working towards addressing those. At the moment, she's either going through an amazing phase or those things are somehow sorted. She still has those little quirks associated with ASDs and I don't want those to change, so long as she can keep up her confidence. They are part of what makes her so unique and incredible. Minus the difficult behaviour, she stands out for all the good reasons.
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"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley
We are pro-neurodiversity with 2 aspie children- 2 NT how could I not! ha ha! I also found I was an aspie 5 or so yrs ago in looking for help for the children
Not going to public school helped us a lot I think in teaching the children it is okay to be different No one was telling anything different than that key truth in their early years It was probably our salvation in how our children view theierself and the world It is hard to help kids understand how different others are as it can be confusing Yet I raise the children up best I can to respect all types of brain wiring even if it is very unlike their own They get plenty of pracitce with this just with their own siblings and the results are pretty good so far
Everyone finds their own path to acceptance and their place in this world if they are to be happy and grow I hope what I do with the children will aid in that task and allow understanding to grow toward theirself and others who will be very different and that is okay
I would say that I'm AS and pro-neurodiversity to the extent that your difference do not negatively impact you or those around you. If you have kids to support, and they prevent you from working or they cause you to commit crimes, then I think that you need to do something to make your behavior more "normal." If your behaviors are different but harmless (an adult with an over-fascination with a hobby, for instance), that is not something that everyone needs to worry about.
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www.freevideosforautistickids.com is my website with hundreds of links and thousands of educational videos for kids, parents and educators. Son with high-functioning classic autism, aged 7, and son with OCD/Aspergers, aged 4. I love my boys!
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