Tv, video obsession..what to do?

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My son goes in cycles of being obsessed with tv or video games. He is 8 and has AS. He doesn't have a game system, but he plays on my iPad. He will spend the entire time searching for games rather than playing one usually. But he will wake up at like 3am or 5am wanting to play. He tries to steal my iPad alot. But the main issue is that it seems to be a source of issue, he gets frustrated and he gets in trouble for sneaking it etc...On the flip side, it's a great motivator for getting him to get ready for school.

My questions are, why is it so mesmerizing? Is it ok for me to let him feed his obsession, like play all of the time etc? The addictive behavior scares me...am I over reacting?

No, you're not overreacting at all.
I have had addictions to the computer and various games over the years and it really does get to be a problem when school becomes more important. I'm currently 16 years old and in 10th grade and playing games so much has ruined my grades this semester... not beyond repair, but I stopped playing too late, and now I have to catch up so much because I wasted time on games. :/
Your son is still on the younger side and he's forming habits at this age. Letting him play all the time is the worst thing you can do; he needs to learn now that there is time for playing and time for doing stuff you don't want to do. He's at a good age to be learning that. It will help him in the long run.

People with AS have a hard time with time management so teaching him about "there's time now for playing/relaxing and there's also time for doing things you don't like" as early as possible will really help him.

I totally agree with jimnixon. It's funny - I was at a parent training once, and the therapist went around the room and asked us "what thing do you have to limit for fear of totally losing your child." I was amazed at the diversity of answers, the things parents have to dole out to their AS kids like they're methadone: elevators, video games, particular book series, etc.

It's so difficult to find the line between helping our kids find balance in their lives, and taking away something that makes sense to them and gives them comfort. I struggle with this constantly. We usually manage it with a schedule, and as a reward system as well" DS also likes electronic games, he gets a certain (small) amount each week, and the rest has to be earned with various chores, reading, etc.

I know that DS is remarkably resistant to fatigue or boredom on a special interest, so letting him have a weekend or week where he gets to play all he wants, whenever he wants (which might work well for an NT kid, or maybe another different kind of kid) won't help.

Thanks guys, the last comment about it being doled out like methadone, is so true!! ! That's how this is, it's like an addict, which worries me in general, not because of video games, but because of what other things down the road he might get 'addicted' to.

But yeah I need make sure to put some schedule around it and stick to it and it will be fine. Hopefully that structure will teach him how to handle it appropriately in the future when he is independent.

We have a system where DS(6 yo HFA) earns game/computer time. He starts each day with getting 10 minutes just for "showing up" and can earn more time for doing things that are expected or optional, or lose time for not doing the things he needs to do or doing things that are really unacceptable. We made the list of things he earns time for pretty long and it contains pretty easy things such as brushing teeth and getting dressed, i.e. we set the bar pretty low. Conversely, the list of things he loses time for is pretty short, hitting, lying, not getting dressed within the allotted time, etc. This is beneficial to 2 ways, first it motivates him to do those every day tasks that we sometimes struggle with and secondly it provides a way to limit screen time. We keep a chart up where he can see it and I have little tabs that say "10" that I velcro on the chart. He'll look at it and say something like "can I burn 30 Wii minutes?" Works pretty good for us so far.

Sounds like me...a couple of years ago I spent quite a bit of time searching for games online. And I hardly ever played any of them! All I can really say that I eventually got bored with it and moved on to another obsession...

My daughter is obsessed with videos. She watches animal videos-the same ones over and over. I control the amount of time and I would certainly be concerned if she was doing it regularly at 3am. Within reason (like everything in life) I think it is fine.

Good information, especially hearing Wreck-Gar was doing the same thing with the searching. So since this post I have used it as a motivator for getting ready in the morning and its working great. I even told him that I'm not going to download any more games so he can play what he has, but he still spends time looking through the available games instead of playing. But sticking to my rules and giving him time has been much better. When he does get up at 3am, I just send him back to bed and unfortunatley he won't sleep and continues to ask to play every hour, but that's okay, I imagine he will realize that he cannot play until daytime. he doesn't sleep well anyway which is a whole other issue, hahah. Thanks everyone!

How did you go about initially starting to use this system? We're there many meltdowns in the beginning over not getting to play?

We had already been trying to limit screen time and it was difficult because we didn't have a set rule for how much time he could have each day so we needed a way to structure that so he knew better what to expect. He had a really hard time getting off even when given multiple warnings and being allowed to finish the game or level he was on. In addition we were just struggling to do common tasks throughout the day, getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc. so I needed a good motivator. Losing time was tough at first but the way I have it he can almost always earn time back. He learned that pretty quickly.

Maybe limiting special intrests/obsessions is good for some kids, but in my case doing that would make me practicaly sucidal. Obsessions/special intrests have always been my strongest autistic trait.

I would give him a fixed amount of time that he can play, but I would also use more time as a reward for other things.

Video games can in some cases be quite a healthy interest, especially if he wonders about the selection and the inner workings of them, plus they do increase hand/eye coordination.

Earning game time by doing chores etc. is a great idea, and, as you said, it works. This means you can gradually extend the system in order to teach him to ask for the ipad before taking it and to teach him that you don't want to be woken up at 3am because he wants to play.
Your son was essentially on his way into a light form of gaming or information "addiction" as mentioned where he stole the ipad, but as long as it stopped there, i'd say you did the right thing.
A possible extension to the system could be, if he had enough game time reserved, you could buy him another game or similar.

In any case, I need not remind you that he eventually WILL have to learn to manage his own time, along with the consequences this entails. That part of the training could be initiated by buying him a small computer (cheap laptop/desktop) that he can use not only for games, but also for school work. If he's still into video games by that time, he'll have another use for it; making his own little video games

As Magic Meercat mentions, sometimes, limiting the special interests of the child may be good, but in most cases it's only to be done if there is a very good reason for it. you'll be amazed at how fast he can pick up information and knowledge about his special interest, he just needs to know where to look.