Potty Training help, possible to just not want to?

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My son just turned 3 a few weeks ago, because of that he is now getting free diapers from his services, and i just feel like, Should i push harder for pottying?

I'v always tried since 18 months old to get him to go potty. I'v had him pee and poop in the potty, but I understand with his language disorder communication was biggest issue. But as his speech is coming in I figured maybe we can try harder

But he refuses, he does not want to sit on the toliet. Biggest issue is he won't go there if he needs to potty, he won't even tell me. Heck my son when he is thirsty will go into the fridge and get a drink on his own. He goes to the closet and gets himself diapers, tries taking them off/putting them on. Though he will ask me to put on by giving it to me.

I'v tried going diaperless, in hopes that he'll realise more. I know he feels it coming on, he always stops to do it. He also hides behind couches/certains to have a bowel movement.

He took a poop infront of the tv yesterday. He sometimes may pee in the middle of the night, but for the longest time he stayed dry, but now lately he always pees in diaper (Drinks to close to bed) And I can't get him to pee in potty before bed. He will never have a bowel movement at night.

I'v tried more juices/water/salt crackers to have more moments to use potty but, he just refuses to go near. And it's strange when he has pooped and pee'd in the potty he did get happy and say yay. But he just doesn't want to do it

Could it be possible for a child to simply not want to potty, even though they are pretty ready. How do sticker encouraging work? He freaks out if i put stickers on things, as it ruins the sticker.

Should i be putting him on the potty? I'v gotten him to sit with a toliet seat on the toliet, but he sits there and doesnt do anything. Though he has pee'd, I could possibly bring him to the toliet every time he needs to potty, but he will not go on his own. But past few months if i put him on the potty he screams and screams and pushes and tries to run away.

Is that just something that happens with time, going on their own?

There are two things that worked with all three of my children - two NT, one PDD-NOS, who had very poor language skills at the time. My daughter was very young, but both boys were 2.5-ish.

1. Small candies for rewards: two for a poo, one for a pee. They all really liked this. This only works with kids who are aware of their bodies though, and it sounds like your son is. You also have to be very strict about not giving a candy just for sitting down on the potty; they have to actually produce something, even if it's just a dribble. I think this makes them aware of the feeling of going even when it's not an emergency.
2. The other thing was a tip from my mother. She told me to try the kids in loose underwear (like, several sizes too big), rather than pull-ups. It's definitely true that wet, baggy undies are more uncomfortable than cushy diapers, and can intensify the feeling that maybe it's worth taking the time to sit on the potty. I wouldn't bother with the toilet at all until he's using the potty regularly. We took a few days at home with each of them, wearing just the undies (no pants over top). If he's going to get the hang of it, you'll know within a day or two.

My daughter didn't train until 3 1/2 years old and I started at about the same time as you putting my daughter occasionally on the potty. When she trained it was after 4 months of intensive potty going where I was trained to take her after eating and drinking. I was real good at taking her after she ate and drink and she did finally figure it out. Took forever.

My son who is NT was worse to train but only because I didn't put him on the potty at a young age. Wait until they are ready they say. Well when he got to 3 1/2 years old he liked diapers because he hadn't been on a potty. Training the NT child was worse because I had done no prep however he did finally train at 4 years old. I now figure "wait until they are ready" means don't expect them to be potty trained but still potty train them.

When I trained my Aspie daughter, she wouldn't use the potty chair. She would go on the floor or in her pants. I noticed that she liked to follow me into the bathroom when I went, so I started training her to imitate me. I bought a training seat that I kept by the toilet, and a small step stool . She learned to place the training seat on the toilet and use the stool to climb up there all by herself. I don't know if it will work for your child, but that was what I did.

I potty trained my boy when he was about 3 1/2 and it took about 3 months (he still doesn't wipe himself or put his own pants back on, but we don't have accidents). He refused to sit on the potty so I had him watch a lot of potty training videos and left the potty in his room first, this went on for a long time ... when I finally saw him sitting on it I made him go pantsless and followed him closely for about 10 days and made sure he went on the potty, I let him play with a handheld game system to distract him from running off. Key moments were first thing in the morning, after a big drink, after a meal, before a bath and before bed. Every time he went in the potty he got loads of praise and for a while I let him pick out a sticker and put it where ever he liked on a big piece of paper on the bathroom door - if your son is upset about the stickers getting ruined you could use craft foam or something similar, then he could reposition them - anyway, he eventually lost interest in the stickers but I still praise him every time he goes. We started using the big potty when he showed interest in sitting on it.

Edit: Also I'm sure this isn't for everyone but I also leave his kiddy potty in his room, if the bathroom door is closed (and it usually is because we don't want him in there unmonitored) and he for whatever reason doesn't want to wait or tell us he needs to go he'll use his own potty.

Also, some kids on the spectrum do not like the bathroom due to sensory issues...flushing could be too loud, for example.

I was also tough to potty train. My mother tried with me when I was two but I kept going in my pants. She said I couldn't figure out I was supposed to go in the potty than in my diapers. Well I had been wearing them my whole life so just imagine you have always gone in your pants and mommy or daddy had always cleaned you up for it. Then one day they buy a chair and have you sit on it and they pull down your pants and take your diaper off. With not understand speech or have limited understanding of it , you are not going to know what is going on. It's a change.

My mother did try showing me how to use it by having me watch her go and I still didn't connect the dots for it. She figured I wasn't ready so she put me back in diapers.

I didn't quit wearing them until my brother was born and when I saw the mess he made in his diaper, I stopped wearing them. I figured out diapers were for babies and I was not a baby anymore. I just remember then I got tired of wearing them because they got too uncomfortable and I thought I had to wear them because my parents kept getting them and putting them on me. My dad said I liked wearing them.

I had accidents up until the age of five and I messed myself until I was about four. I also had fear of using the toilet. I preferred my potty chair. Even when teachers at day care try and make me use the toilets than the chair, I wouldn't go so I would end up having accidents or just going in my pants. I was that stubborn. Mom also says I didn't like going in my chair at home so I would end up going in my pants. I only liked sitting on it.

I hear potty training problems are common in kids on the spectrum. If it weren't for my brother, I may have still been in diapers until a lot later and who knows till what age. My mom thinks I would have figured it out.

I know this was off topic but I just wanted to share my own experience.

Stay strong and try to not get angry and be patient! I say that because my son is 8 and still doesn't wipe himself and doesn't always flush. He would go in his pants at school, and play, with dirty pants, stinking...he didnt seem to care! The only way he will even use the toilet now is if he has his medicine, which is an anti hyper intensive. (no idea how that works, it just does) I know it's so frustrating and so hard. I wish I had controlled my temper, looking back, but in my defense I wasn't aware of my sons condition until later.

I think toiketing problems are often sensory things and a combination of sitting on the actual toilet, flushing, the water sounds, stopping what they are doing to go, feeling if they need to go and knowing how to not wait until its too late. Try a kiddie potty with no flushing, try the candy idea, try everything, INCLUDING not pushing the issue. He could come around to it, just later than what is typical. Hopefully it will work out soon but be prepared mentally for this to possibility that it go on for a while...If it does, it's okay...and if it doesn't then great! One less thing we have to worry about with these precious ones

Look up Potty Watch...it worked for us when my daughter was non verbal I potty trained her at age 3. She is now 7 and I know she is stressed when she has accidents. I also bought a potty chair that fit on the big one and a step stool from IKEA, very cheap. I personally think its silly to use potty chairs because then you have to transition them to the big potty. You can program the watch to go off at every half hour or hour or two hours, whatever, the one we had played twinkle twinkle little star....they have ones for boys too. I liked them as they were cheap, but buy two because our kids are hard on things. We and the school took her every hour and we were lucky enough that she stopped wetting at night at age two and never had an accident, she will even wake up now in the middle of the night to go. Also if you have issues with them not going up the drink and if they wont drink give them something salty (pretzels chips). Also you can make your own frozen pops and keep handing them a drink.

DS was 3 1/2yo before he was potty-trained (with accidents) and 12yo before he stopped wetting the bed. We tried everything to get him to stop having accidents at night, but nothing seemed to work. Some nights I would just be so tired that I would throw an old towel over the wet spot, change him, and then go back to bed. It took me awhile to figure out his "clues" that he needed to go potty. The biggest one is that he would go and hide. So, I knew that if he was out of my sight for more than 3 minutes or so, that he was messing his breeches.

Our youngest also has problems with bed-wetting. Fortunately, we figured out that if we have him go potty right before he goes to bed and then wake him to go again before we go to bed, he usually stays dry. The only time when he wets now is if he's sick (which is a useful tool to know what's going on with him).

I have always read that kids are ready to pretty much potty train themselves once they feel uncomfortable with a dirty diaper. I do not know how much this applied to spectrum kids. My kid (age 4) just pooped as I was reading this thread and then started walking around very uncomfortably...I hope he will be trained soon.

My parents used to leave me in dirty diapers after I mess in them. They wouldn't change me right away. My ex thinks they did that to get me to quit so I did. He said I was basically forced to stop wearing them so they made it unpleasant for me. I don't know if that was true or not they did.

I have 4 kids, all NT's, but potty training them each was different. My youngest did not fully potty train until she was 4. She wore diapers and pullups until there just werent any that fit her anymore. She also held on to the bottle that long. She nursed exclusively (no bottles at all) until she was almost 2. I could not get that child off the breast no matter how hard I tried. Eventually, what got her off it was the fact that I had my appendix out and I came home from the hospital full of drugs and took pain killers for a week. I could not nurse her with drugs in my system so I didn't. She had a little fit. Her first word had actually been "titty". Not "Mama", not "Daddy" but "titty". Then again my youngest son's first word was "Mine".

She was the hardest one to potty train. She was determined not to use the potty and I was determined that she would, or go wet. It took about a month of no diapers or pullups to finally get her to realize that she had to use it. There was no other choice because she had outgrown the biggest diaper they sell.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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