17 month old who doesn't eat a lot

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Hi, there. I am new to this site.
I believe my 17 month old daughter has Asperger's syndrome. I work as a teacher's assistant in a classroom that has many autistic children, and my partner also has Asperger's (he was diagnosed a couple years ago). So I know what to look for. She hasn't been officially diagnosed, but we know. Anyway, she is breastfed and we are still nursing. I do not plan on weaning her anytime soon, but I do want her to eat more than she nurses. My son, who does not have Asperger's, is a big eater. My girl, however, hardly eats at all. She prefers to nurse, and I think if she had it her way, that is all she would consume. She does like pasta a lot, but even that doesn't guarantee that she will eat. I know kids go through phases, and that people who have Asperger's definitely aren't always big eaters, but I was wondering if any parents have any tips on what I can do for her that might make food more appealing. Tonight I tried keeping her from nursing until she ate, but she just had a huge meltdown and I don't really think it was helpful in her relationship with food. I want eating to be a positive thing for her.
Thank you

We had issues weaning, too. We did more extended nursing than planned, but I do not think it would be adversely effecting appetite for other foods. The milk changes nutritionally as time goes on, and they will often continue for comfort. She may not be getting as much calories as you think she is.

We did better once we started adding more foods. Autistic children are often picky eaters. I would expose her to as many different foods as you can (aside from choking hazards etc.) and try to beef up what she eats by finding foods she likes better than milk. Our pickiness problems came after this stage, but I would try to get her to tolerate a wide variety of food now, if you can. Just always make pasta or other favorites available when she won't try new things.

Is her weight percentile OK?

You could go for a consultation with a feeding therapist trained in the SOS method. It's a step by step method to address sensory issues with food.

My daughter nursed until she was 2. She was also a poor eater. She did, however, drink ridiculous amounts of milk (cow's). So, I cut back the cow's milk to try to make her more hungry and--surprise to me--a lot of her behaviors got better. I knew nothing about GF or CF diets at the time as she was just recently diagnosed. We removed casein completely and she had a developmental burst. Most noticeable was she stopped headbanging, lost that "spacy stare" and responded to her name more regularly. We also removed GF, but didn't notice anything in terms of improvements. We slowly re-introduced both gluten (after 9 months) and casein (after 18 months) with no apparent ill effects. She is still a picky eater, but she eats enough food that she is of average weight and not malnourished.

I do not know if this is related to your situation at all, but I thought I'd share. Removing foods she was sensitive to definitely helped.

Sounds like my dd5. I couldn't nurse, so she had formula. She was a VERY BIG child. 9lbs 10 oz at birth. 24 lbs by 6 months of age. 30 lbs by age 1. 40 lbs by 2. Thing is, she wouldn't eat food. Only formula. Since she was so big the ped had me start trying baby food at 5months, no she wouldn't have it. 6 months... no. 7 no... and on. By a year when most kids were starting some real solids, she still preferred the bottle and just a select few other things like yogurt, applesauce and one or two of the baby purees. She would spit out pasta and other solids. Didn't even like oatmeal. At around 18 months she finall started eating some things like bananas, kraft dinner, sloppy joe. Really picky though. Most of her diet was milk and yogurt. As far as meat goes it was either sloppy joes or soy dogs. Yeah, gross right? Now at age 5, still hard. Still prefers yogurt, milk, applesauce. Cheese. She really won't even eat cake or cookies. If there is frosting on she will eat that, but doesn't like the crumpliness. She doesn't like crunchy stuff, crumbly stuff, or very chewy stuff. Won't eat crackers. Give her the choice between pickles or french fries and she will take the pickles (loves pickles). She will eat most fruit though. If broccoli so much as touches her plate the whole plate becomes contaminated and will refuse to eat ANYTHING on it. Same for MOST vegetables. HOW she weighs 54 lbs at age 5 is beyond my comprehension. She does. Not Eat. If I take her somplace like mcdonalds she won't eat most of that either. She always wants the cheesburger. She will eat the apples and the pickle off the cheeseburger. If I lean on her she will put ketchup on whatever she can and try to eat it like that. Sometimes even dunks her food in water or milk to make it more... "palatable". 9/10 though I'm throwing out an entire kids meal minus the toy, apples, and a pickle.

I have a nephew who... knowing what I know now, I am quite certain he has aspergers. His parents (my borther and SIL) chalk his behavior up to him being fussy and slow. When he was about a year old (12-18 months) I remember visiting and they said that he would just drink milk and eat yogurt if allowed. The literally strapped this child into restraints and force fed him. It was pretty ugly. During this they would give him a blank VCR tape to play with as that was th only thing her liked to play with because he liked to spin the two little gears in them. Now his mom CLAIMS he eats anything, but he doesnt. He is thin as a pole. He didn't talk till he was 5, wasn't potty trained till 4. Sorry to go on, but I guess it's so obvious to me now. I tried to talk to my brother (my nephew is now 10) but they don't want to hear it.

ANYWAY, I'm guessing this is a pretty common red flag, however I wonder how many NT kids are picky like this too? Or how many kids with AS don't get picky till later. My 2.5 yo dd, I am nigh on positive she has AS but she has always like to eat compared to dd5 anyway. She is a little picky, but not as picky. She also gets picky about weird stuff like the color of her plate and cup not matching or the food not being cut into even enough shapes. But she is a lot more willing to eat more foods or at least try them. Just don't put it on her plate wrong or on the wrong plate...

NT kids an be majorly picky as well! my NT DD was like this, she was very selecive and didnt want to eat many solids until over a hear and a hlaf. She is 3 1/2 and such a good eater today its hard to believe she was so slow to start!! !

Wow! Thanks for all the responses, everyone As I said, I am very sure she has AS. Not just because of the eating thing. I feel so silly that I didn't even think of the color thing.....I am going to pay more attention to that. And yes, she is a big girl, and growing like a little flower! I am trying again this evening to withhold the nursing until after dinner. We definitely aren't ready to wean yet(my son, who is a NT, nursed until he was 4. In this house, the children nurse until they are ready and mama is ready). I will see how it goes and keep you all posted. Thank you again. I hope I can be helpful in future posts

DD is 3 1/2 and still nurses and she was my picky eater. DS who has AS was bottle fed (pumped breastmilk due to his cleft lip and palate) was spoon fed starting at 6 months and was fine with jarred baby foods. DD HATED to be spoon fed, flat out refused to eat off a spoon at 6 months, 7,8,9 and 10 months....she just started to accept the spoon occasioonally. She preferred soft finger foods and was a strong nurser up until the age of 2. TOday at 3 1/2 she is a super eater, much better then my DS was at the same age, and actually she eats MORE food then he does at 7...lol.

Hang in there she will eat!

I am wondering how you can etect ergers in a 17 month old. I though Aspergers wasnt picked up until about elem school.

Just curious as my son has Aspergers and wasnt diagnosed until 6 yo!

Kids are funny with their eating habits, that is for sure! My daughter hasn't been diagnosed, but my partner has AS and I work with students who are autistic/aspergers, so I know certain characteristics to look for. The first thing we noticed with her was how serious she is. Not so much at home, but even here, she doesn't always smile when she is happy. People are always commenting on how serious she is. I believe AS can be diagnosed as early as 2 years old. We will probably get that diagnosis only so she can have any resources available to her that she may need once she hits school age(if we don't end up homeschooling her, which is a possibility).

I have two children who have seemed to live on air, so I'll share what our doctor has told us over and over and over and that has served them both well growing up with healthy bodies:

Don't worry about quantity. Keep putting a variety of healthy choices in front of your child and let them explore, eat and enjoy at their own pace. Don't give into the temptation to provide less healthy choices because your child seems more likely to eat them. As long as a variety of healthy selections are offered, most children will eat what they need. It may not seem like much to us, but it is the right amount for their bodies.

That said, do watch out for a child not eating because they distract too easily, or a child not eating because they have a lot of digestion issues. Neither of those are "natural" choices and can interfere with your child's natural instincts to eat what she needs.

Breast milk is super healthy and your child will be fine with it. You, however, may want to curb it because, well, it involves you. As someone said to me, the first year you nurse on the infant's terms; the second year you nurse on yours. Rules like "we only nurse at home" will allow you to expand your daughter's diet when you are outside of the home. Pack up a nice and healthy variety and see how it goes.

Thank you, DW, those are very wise words. I will use this advise for sure.
We eat a vegan, whole foods diet, so she has no choice but to eat healthy One of her favorites these days have been apples, apples, apples.