help me find words

Post Reply New Topic

My son is in second grade. Since he was very young, I have seen that there is something "off" about him. The only person I told about it was my husband, who initially thought I was paranoid. As our son grew older, the differences have become more noticeable. For some time now, my husband and I have been in agreement that he needs to be evaluated.
When DS started kindergarten, we thought his teacher would suggest an evaluation. We were waiting for her to suggest it, just in case we were both imagining things. Nothing happened. All of first grade passed, and nothing happened. Now all the "differences" are pretty in-your-face at this point. He has very obvious social defecits, as well as being physically clumsy, but he does very well on his schoolwork. The other day I took him to his first basketball practice and watched him spin like a helicopter in the middle of the gymnasium (he also spins at home). I feel like his teachers are either incredibly ignorant, or are purposely saying nothing to me.
So...parent/teacher conferences are coming up. I want to say something, but I don't know how to bring it up or what to say. I am very aspie-ish myself, and I have a lot of social anxiety. I frequently fail to come across the way I intend to (I may seem angry when I'm concerned, etc.). Usually I just smile and say as little as possible in order to seem normal.
So, can anyone give me some "scripts" for this scenario? An aspie-ish woman trying to advocate for a very-probably aspie child at a tiny, podunk public school?

Well, the good news is...if you are in the US, you don't really need to advocate. You just need to request an evaluation. You don't need the teacher to do it for you, but he or she can tell you who in your district is the right person to contact.

Good luck!

Depending on where you live, (I am in the US) you can say you have concerns that your child is showing signs of being on the autistic spectrum and ask if your district has an educational diagnostician (or whatever the relevant title is) because you want to ask for an evaluation.

Tell them you want an autistic spectrum evaluation. You want your child to be evaluated with an ADOS, and to be tested with intelligence (IQ) tests, fine and gross motor skills tests,(in case you child needs OT); pragmatic speech and language (in case your child needs ST) etc. (If I missed something someone I am sure will pipe in.)

They will also test hearing and vision (or ask for doctor notes) and send you a zillion forms to fill out. Some of it is bureaucratic stuff, Some of it is for you to give your own evaluation of behaviors. They will give you a form to fill out which will constitute written notice of asking for an evaluation. If they don't you may have to write a letter outlying the above paragraph stuff and including that it counts as written notice.

They should give you a booklet which give you an outline of your rights and how much time they are allowed to take.

I don't think you have to worry too much about how you phrase it. Just make sure you are polite and determined. They may or may not attempt to tell you they do not think it is necessary, or they may heartily agree. Sometimes I think teachers are told not to rock the fiscal boat, and that they have to wait for the parent to request services, even though they are supposed to help identify children with needs. Sometimes the schools are just not well trained or educated in spectrum issues.

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 05 Nov 2012, 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

Here is a sample letter for requesting an evaluation for your child. It includes some important parts that you may want to have in notes on hand to talk to the teacher/principal/school counselor about when you speak to them verbally. Empasize the effect his emotional/behavioral/social difficulties/quirks/oddities have on his educaiton in spite of his ability to complete classwork, and concern that without the right support he will begin to struggle and fall behind. A written request demands a response by law.

http://www.ldonline.org/article/14620/

Today's Date (include month, day, and year)

Your Name
Street Address
City, State, Zip Code
Daytime telephone number

Name of Principal or Special Education Administrator
Name of School
Street Address
City, State, Zip Code

Dear (Principal's or Administrator's name),

I am writing to request that my son/daughter, (child's name), be evaluated for special education services. I am worried that (child's name) is not doing well in school and believe he/she may need special services in order to learn. (Child's name) is in the ( _ ) grade at (name of school). (Teacher's name) is his/her teacher.

Specifically, I am worried because (child's name) does/does not (give a few direct examples of your child's problems at school).

We have tried the following to help (child's name): (If you or the school have done anything extra to help your child, briefly state it here).

I understand that I have to give written permission in order for (child's name) to be evaluated. Before the evaluation begins, I have some questions about the process that I need to have answered (list any questions you may have). I would be happy to talk with you about (child's name). You can send me information or call me during the day at (daytime telephone number). Thank you for your prompt attention to my request.

Sincerely,

Your name

cc: your child's principal (if letter is addressed to an administrator)
your child's teacher(s)



Note: If your child has been identified as having a disability by professionals outside the school system, add the following sentence to the end of the first paragraph above:

(Child's name) has been identified as having (name of disability) by (name of professional). Enclosed is a copy of the report(s) I have received that explains (child's name) condition.


This information is copyright free.

Readers are encouraged to copy and share it, but please credit the National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities (NICHCY). NICHCY Parent Guides are published in response to questions from individuals and organizations that contact us. We encourage you to share your ideas and feedback with us!

Publication of this document is made possible through a Cooperative Agreement between the Academy for Educational Development and the Office of Special Education Programs of the U.S. Department of Education. The contents of this document do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the Department of Education, nor does mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations imply endorsement by the U.S. Government.

NICHCY
P.O. Box 1492
Washington, DC 20013
v/tty: (800) 695-0285
Fax: (202) 884-8441
e-mail: nichcy@aed.org
web: www.nichcy.org


Excerpted from Communication with Your Child's School Through Letters. National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities. www.nichcy.org (2002). Washington, D.C.: Academy for Educational Development.

I went directly to the school district for an evaluation. I told them that the pediatrician had concerns and that started the ball rolling. There were a few forms that the pediatician had to fill out. I was told that unless the child's behavior affected their school work, the teachers are not allowed to say what they "think" is the matter. some parents are very sensitive to things like that and do not care to hear what the teacher "thinks" is going on with a childs neurology. I am NT but I am also very blunt so who ever has to care for my son (dentist, teacher, baby sitter, dermatologist), I explain that my son has ASD traits and these are the things to do and not do with him. My son is 3 and is in pre-school.

After looking at the county's school district web page, it appears that students are evaluated with what they call PSW (Pattern of Strengths and Weaknesses). Is this a real test or a made-up thing? There is no mention of autism on the web site, and none of the strengths and weaknesses listed have anything to do with social skills issues. There is no mention of the ADOS test, either.

Evaluated for WHAT?


Sounds like something they are using to determine "school-readiness" or something similar.


I wouldn't expect to find that info on their website. Kids at public schools have all types of disabilities and there is no way every type of disability could be addressed on the website. Eureka-C and others have solid advice. The law says that if a parent requests that a child be evaluated for any disability, the school must comply. The best way to do that would be in writing. I would not recommend mentioning it to the teacher during the PT conf and expecting that she/he is going to do something about it. Find out from the teacher or principal or possibly the website who your letter should be addressed to. There should be one or more administrative people who are responsible for disability services and that is who it should go to. As has been mentioned, it is important to stress how his behavior is interfering with his learning or the learning of other students or the specific skill deficits he exhibits related to learning.

It can be helpful if the teacher sees the same things you see and can "back-up" your story, so to speak, but the teacher does not need to be the one to initiate the evaluation process.

As for the school personell making recommendations. My son had behavioral/emotional issues that caused difficulties in the classroom, with his being able to stay in the classroom, resulted in social difficulties, interfered with his being present to learn with the other children, and where he spent from 60-80% of the day in off-task behaviors (I didn't know this last part until the Behavioral Assessment), from kindergarten through 4th grade. It wasn't until his 4th grade year that the school principal suggested he would be unsuccessful in the intermediate school (5th and 6th grade) and would likely end up at the alternative school for persistant misbehavior. This was the first time that it was mentioned to me that his difficulties were severe and warranted follow-up and an evaluation for special education. I believe many of his current difficulties (at age 11) could have been prevented if he had support throughout his elementary years, instead of believing he was "bad" and something must be "wrong" with him, because no matter how hard he tried he could never be "good." We are fighting these beliefs on a daily basis even though he now has a better support system, and is much more successful. I don't believe they knew it was AS. I do believe they were trying to be "nice" by glossing over the problems occuring. I believe that the teachers/school principal/counselor all believed they were doing what was best for him, but looking back I see many mistakes that could have been corrected with the right support/accommodations. Maybe, he would have at least one friend in 6th grade, Maybe he would be in all mainstreamed classes instead of in a self-contained class part of the day, Maybe he wouldn't be depressed and dislike those things about himself that I think make him awesome, but he thinks just makes him weird... and the maybe's go on. I know I can't change the past, and I know we are on a good path now. But I just don't want someone to make the same mistakes we made.

One point: you are better off asking for evaluations, etc. via email or a letter, anyway; they sometimes don't follow up on verbal requests. There are lots of templates out there, but the important thing to remember: you need a paper trail. Any meetings you have should just be to verify and reiterate what you've said already in writing.

I don't know what country you are in, but Autism societies are pretty much universal, and easy to find with a quick google. See if you can find an advocate to accompany you when you meet with the school, or who can discuss the laws where you are.

Here are some sites I found with a quick google that offer sample letters for the US; I think they are a good start:
http://www.familyrn.org/resources/sampl ... evaluation
http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/ ... le-letter/

Good luck!

"The Patterns of Strengths and Weaknesses model generally uses a cognitive evaluation (most frequently the Woodcock Johnson III Tests of Cognition) which breaks out student performance into key areas, focusing on what the student already knows, processing speed, ability to reason, long term memory retrieval, short term memory, working memory, auditory processing, and phonemic awareness. To qualify, the student must show a set number of cognitive strengths (often three), plus at least one cognitive weakness. The student must then additionally show an associated academic weakness in an area which matches the cognitive weakness."

http://special-education.yoexpert.com/d ... -2879.html

Anyway, my understanding is that a PSW model is only for identifying Specific Learning Disability which is only one area of special eductation in which a child can receive services.

A child with autism spectrum disorder may receive special education services under one or more of the disability categories:

Autism is one of those categories, but many children with AS or HFA do not receive services under this category.
Often children receive services under Specific Learning disability (oral language, reading, writing, math etc.), or speech (pragmatic language problems, expressive/receptive language problems), or Emotional disturbance (anxiety or depression or anger outbursts interfering with learning), or Intellectual disability (low IQ), or Other health impairment (ADHD, SID/SPD), etc.

http://nichcy.org/disability/categories

If you request an evaluation for a "learning disability" it won't be enough. You have to be specific enough to get the right evaluation. That's why an advocate is often good. They can speak the language. But don't be scared if you don't have an advocate. Just mention the problems you suspect and say (in writing) that the evaluation should address all the problems. They won't list the tests until the evaluation. Once you find out the tests, asks which tests address each concern. If they missed one, ask if something could be added to address the gap.

I have no idea. Everybody just gets the same evaluation I guess?



Would pragmatic language and expressive/receptive language therapy address his social skills problems?

Would I be better off not mentioning anything to the school and finding a doctor to evaluate him instead?

Yes, definitely, to the first question - at least in part. Pragmatic speech is the social aspect of speech - my son has been HUGELY helped by it.

If you have access to health insurance, I would definitely get your own evaluation - look for a pediatric neurologist or a developmental pediatrician (or a hospital-based group headed by either one that also has Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists and psychologists/psychiatrists) If you go into the school with a diagnosis, the school will want to do their own evaluation - but they will have to address the one you bring in.

Just to clarify a bit, the school will require their own evaluation because they are looking at things from a different perspective. The question the school asks is not simply, does the child have a disability? But does the child have a disability that prevents him from getting an education in the regular classroom? Many might think, well duh! If a kid has a disability it must effect his learning but I can tell you from experience, the schools don't see it that way.

I am just adding, that at my son's school, you do need to write a letter. Talking to a teacher is not enough. They can put it off all year if you ask. With writing a letter, they have to respond within about a month. It is official then, and has to follow regulations.

I am in a small town too, and my friend's son was just diagnosed at age 9. No one wants to say anything, everyone wants to pretend everything is fine.

The reason is that they are afraid that if they say something, people will be angry. There is also a feeling that autism is very bad, and so it is better to pretend everything is fine.

I don't think people have bad motivations, just a lack of knowledge.

My little son just got evaluated and so, so many people assume a very bad outcome for him. There is no reason to think that, though. People just assume that he will be like the most severe case that they saw years ago, probably someone who did not have any kind of advantages in life or understanding of autism. But that is what a lot of people here think.

They also think -- well, the parents know their child, if they suspect something, then they will request an evaluation or get a referral from the doctor. They don't realize that parents can't read minds.

So, my son's class sort of has two teachers. A complicated situation brought about by low enrollment and cost-cutting. Anyway, I had a conference with both of them. I decided to try and "feel around" by asking how he was doing socially, did he have friends, etc. The first teacher thinks he's doing 100% fine. The second teacher immediately began talking about his love of rules and order, his quirkiness, his pedantic speech, etc. So I told her I thought he might have high-functioning autism, and she immediately agreed. She said she has worked with autistic kids in the past and it seemed to her that his behavior/personality fits with ASD (though of course she acknowledged that her opinion should not be substituted for a diagnosis).
So oddly I feel really happy now. If she'd said I was nuts I would still think he should be evaluated, so having her agree with me makes me feel more confident going forward. I am going to call his pediatrician and ask for a referral to someone who can administer the ADOS. I hope it is covered by insurance.