Struggling at school

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My son - almost 9 yrs old - is starting to find school harder. The expectations for more mature behaviour, self control and independent work are a struggle for him. He is becoming more ever more reliant on his TA to keep on task and has more worries. He finds the classroom too chaotic and loud (he keeps going to the quiet room). When the TA is not there he does very little work and he is not reaching his academic potential. My son and I have good communication - he can articulate his worries which we then take to the school who are very supportive. His school are looking at more individual support. I do worry about the years ahead and finding the right school where he will be happy and successful. Its so daunting as high schools are larger and more chaotic. It makes me sad to see him struggle. Any tips or reassurance for a concerned mum?

It sounds like he has a good foundation for communication and a good situation with a supportive school environment so I guess I would say that he will mature and some of these difficulties are likely to get better. Does he already use headphones or ear plugs to help mitigate the noise in the classroom? I have been thinking about getting DS a set of the ear plugs that musicians use, they cancel out background noise but still allow you to hear certain sounds (hopefully like the teacher talking). But they are kinda expensive and not sure if I want to trust them to a 6 yo.

One of the things to keep in mind about a child that age - communication skills in NT kids take a huge leap forwards between the ages of 8-11. One of our caseworkers told me this is the reason why so many kids get diagnosed at that age: the other kids jump forwards, and our kids just don't make the jump for a while.

Check and make sure the school is on top of communication skills with social skills and pragmatic speech testing and therapy. I know that for my son, it caused him so much anxiety that he could barely work at grade level, much less up to his own level.

Another issue to look at might be executive functioning skills (like organization.) The aide may be helping him stay organized, and he may just not know where to begin without someone directly helping.

Sorry things are going badly; I do know it took us a while to get over this particular stage - but we seem to be doing much better now at 12 years old.