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Hello,
I'm new to this whole thing. My 11 year old son was diagnosed with AS on Monday. Now that I'm over the shock (I just thought he was a quirky kid with above average intelligence) I'm relieved to understand his diagnosis so that I can better help him feel like he fits in. He gets along really well with adults, but kids his age don't understand him, and vice versa. His AS obsession is science; astronomy, molecular, physics, chemistry... So, as you might be able to imagine having to try to relate to a classroom full of NT children all day is a problem. He hates taking the bus, kids trip him and pretend it's an accident. He hates school, for similar reasons, as well as the fact that he catches on to things quickly and gets frustrated with how much the teachers have to repeat things he has already learned and he's bored (especially because they're avoiding his favorite subjects most of the time).
His teachers go out of their way to help him. There is a no-bullying policy at his school, which is wonderful, but doesn't completely eliminate the problem. Especially because part of the problem is with the AS, on his part he may say things that he doesn't recognize as hurtful to other children and he may be the unintended antagonist.

Any suggestions of programs, or reading material (for parents and child as well) that have helped any of you?

Thanks!
Anjuluh

Welcome! I must say, you are much farther along than I was when we first got our diagnosis! Our situation was similar at that age, except it took me quite a long time to wrap my brain around it.

There are some resources stickied at the top of this board; a reading list, and a somewhat incomplete 'index' of posts by particular issue. If you have a specific question, post it here and you will get a "crowdsourced" answer not only from parents but also from autistic adults, a perspective I haven't found anywhere else and one that makes this forum an incredibly valuable and precious resource for me.

If you're looking for books that can help other people gain a perspective on who he is, I am a big fan of Kathy Hoopmann's books. She has two books that offer a broad overview of AS, (All Cats Have Asperger's Syndrome and Asperger's from the Inside Out) and a kids' series called the Blue Bottle Mystery. I found these were a good way to help other people who didn't need an in-depth explanation understand what was going on.

I also like this TED speech by Temple Grandin, which we sent to our family when we disclosed what was going on with our son: http://www.ted.com/talks/temple_grandin ... minds.html

There are a lot of other good books out there, though - so definitely check out the sticky post.

Welcome. Sound like asperger might not be the only thing that got your son, you should also check for giftedness and twice-exceptionnal.

We have troubles with accidental rudeness, too. It is hard to understand that one should not automatically say things even if they are true if they are unkind. My son is not offended by true things, (he laughs it off) so we have no theory of mind on it whatsoever.

You could try making social stories or looking for some on the Internet on the subject, that really outline what the social expectations are. Our son is younger so I do not know if this is too young for him, but Marc Brown (Arthur) has a book on making friends that I like. You may just have to be blunt and tell your son (when he asks about these things or complains about having social difficulties) that if he wants to make friends he will have to follow expectations of what a friend is to make them.

We recently read this book, which is on the upper-grade-school and middle school end of the age/reading ability scale: http://www.amazon.com/Diary-Social-Dete ... 1934575712

Thank you all so much!
I can't tell you how much it means to me to have help and support in this.
I have always thought of him as gifted, and thought that that is what set him apart from the other kids. I am now realizing that there are several symptoms that I was overlooking because of the fact that he has never had a problem expressing himself with words.

I have known ever since he was a baby that loud noises upset him, but didn't realize until now that he was having a sensory issue. He grew out of his fear of fireworks and the loud garbage truck passing by, so I forgot about that. But didn't connect those issues with the fact that he still gets agitated when his little sister sings, or kids on the bus get noisy and he repeatedly asks them to "please be quiet", or when they don't respond to his polite request he yells, "shut up!" I believe this is a big part of why kids treat him poorly on the bus.

Through reading about what some other parents have been experiencing I remembered that when he was between ages 8-10 he used to walk in a circle around the kitchen table at meal times. We called it "Orbiting". LOL He hasn't done it in a long time, but when it started we lived in an area near a lot of horses and cows and in the summer time flies would get in the house. He claimed that he started "orbiting" because his being in constant motion kept the flies away from his food. But when we moved he continued to do it.
He hasn't done it in a long time, but with all of this new knowledge I'm getting, I'm starting to wonder if he was stimming.

Thank you all for your suggestions! I now have an extensive wishlist of reading material.

About age 10 and 4th grade was when we began seeking answers. We also got a diagnosis at age 11. Now my son is 12 and (fingers crossed) seems to be doing well.

One of the best things for us has been the use of the special education bus. In our district, there are two special education busses, the one my son rides is for the kiddos who are higher functioning and primarily have behavioral/emotional issues. There is a bus driver and an aide. Our bus driver is this older gentleman who gets to know all the kids personally by name and calls us personally if there are any changes. He picks up each of the children at their homes so there is no waiting at a bus stop without adult supervision. There are few enough children that they can all sit one to a seat if they prefer. He is allowed to listen to his headphones or play a video game on his phone. Luckily my son has taken to the bus well and has not had any bad experiences with ugly comments from other children. He hated the regular bus which was overcrowded and during which time he was bullied (from his perspective) every morning while waiting for the bus. He had 3 bus write-ups for standing up on the bus and yelling at other children before we switched to the special education bus. This is not the same in every district, so I would check it out first, but for us it has been heaven sent.

Thank you for the though! That is very worth looking into. My sister drives a special needs bus and loves it! She also has an aide... I'm pretty sure our district has one also, because the elementary school that my children attend has a section set apart for special needs children.
He's not high functioning, so I'm not sure if he would be embarrassed to take a special needs bus, but I'll ask him if he thinks it would be better.

what makes you say "he is not high functioning?" just curious.

Only that I misunderstood the meaning of the phrase. Sorry.