Potty training "readiness".

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So, I have been trying to toilet train my non-verbal 4 year old with no success. I was told that he wasn't ready because he goes pee very very frequently (once every 30 minutes at least, if not sooner) AND his bowel movements are very erratic & unpredictable. I was told that to get him on a schedule, he needs to be able to hold his pee for at least an hour and a half, and have a major bowel movement at a consistent time every day.

Am I out of luck ? Please help ?

There are things that pediatricians are under-informed about regarding ASDs but I would trust a pediatrician's assessment of physical signs for potty training readiness. If you truly have doubts, you could try a developmental pediatrician (if you do not already have one) but I would under no circumstances push a kid who is biologically not capable into potty training.

My determination for readiness was whether or not mine would willingly sit on the potty/toilet, I had to focus on just that part for a long time. If you can do that much then I would probably make sitting on the potty for a few moments just before taking a bath a regular part of his routine to start with. My son used to pee constantly for the first year, I know that is exhausting!

ADVISE ? Telling me to basically believe that everything a professional says is true is your "advise " ? While in the same post you openly admit that pediatricians are frequently "under informed" about ASD AND in another post, you liken ABA to be similar to training "a rat to navigate a maze" ?

BTW, do you have data or research studies to back up your assertion that potty training is one of the few things that pediatricians and behavior therapists are not incorrect about ?

Secondly, if a poster is directed to follow a professional, what is the point of this forum, then ? From your own posts, it is obvious that you have disagreed with many a professional and openly admit to it. So, is it solely your prerogative to disagree with the pros while you believe that parents of lower functioning kids have no such right ? THAT was my real problem with your original and subsequent posts - that the pros are suddenly experts in my son's case while you retain the right to disagree with them where your own child is concerned (major reason why you are homeschooling your kid is because you don't believe in the professionals, right) ? #supremeirony.

[Unsolicited advise] If you reserve the right to misinterpret posts and give "advise" that shows your double standards, the poster to whom you pontificate will reserve the right to call you out on it. Not everyone is going to want to gang up with you against someone else, yeah ? [/unsolicited advise]

And, as for the claim I am new here, no I am not, I have been here for a while, I just don't post that much anymore. In any case, parenting a higher functioning kid or an older kid doesn't make you an expert anymore than parenting an NT kid would make me even superior to those parenting a higher functioning but autistic kid. We don't get to pick our kids or their levels of functioning.

Trying to get this thread back on track.

How can I get my son who pees frequently and has erratic bowel movements ready for toilet training ? Anyone here who experienced this but were ultimately successful in getting their child at least partially trained ? Thanks for sharing.

Of course I did not mean that I am the only one entitled to weigh the value of what professionals say. In my mind, physiology is a much more settled science than a lot the other things we talk about. If the OP or anyone else disagrees, that is fine. I am a direct person, and so maybe my directness, or the emphatic nature of my post was the issue, but I don't always remember to qualify what I say, and sometimes I say things with more certitude than is called for.

I don't think trusting expert advice on physiology means that I need to accept every expert's take on everything, or for that matter the fact that I don't accept everything experts say, does not mean I don't accept opinions on other things. it is not all or nothing. I don't view that as contradictory.

As far as the HFA/LFA, issue I am equally befuddled as to where that came from. I don't even believe it is a clear divide so much as a linguistic convention and short cut. Kids on the spectrum have such different arrays of skills. One kid can be low functioning in one thing and highly skilled in another, One kid might need completely different approaches than another irrespective of whether someone applied an LFA or HFA label on him.

This particular response was quite baffling to me especially given the fact that when the OP was on here a while back with speech issues I was one of quite a few posters who told her that lack of communication does not mean MR and not to take experts on their word on that.

The particular advice I gave here would have been the same for someone with any form of ASD or an NT. I could explain it further but I am afraid it would dig myself in deeper. Suffice it to say, this is my particular view on toilet training and other people obviously have different views, and I withhold further comment on the subject so those who align better with the OP can post.

Anyway, thank you Adamantium, for the kind words. I do my best to say what I mean, and maybe I succeed sometimes and maybe I don't. I meant nothing other than to give advice.