PLEASE! I need help,...

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Hello everybody, I really need help,... I feel lost, and really confused. I am the mother of a two year old boy who is just not talking,... Actually he is 25 months old,.. We have not seen a Pediatrician because we lost our Tricare insurance service for a few months but we will, as soon possible,... still I need to hear from other parents,... I have to feel responsible for him not talking, obviously I am the mom, a stay at home mother so, maybe he is lacking the social interaction provided in a daycare, besides, my first language is Spanish and I also speak French, But I don't feel 100% confident speaking English, I am a foreigner (legal permanent resident) and I feel like an Island, I don't have much of a community built for my children,... no grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins,... My husband is from Alabama, but he is most of the time busy, although he is a good dad and tries but most of the time is just the children end me,... We also have a 4 yo daughter who attends ballet, gymnastics, karate and violin lessons,.. but she doesn't go to preschool, I would say I tend to give more attention and time to our daughter because she was a difficult baby, crying all the time,. although perfectly healthy, they never get sick, they are beautiful, and strong, and healthy.. she has a great ability to pay attention, to learn, but like a said she has a more difficult personality, she get mad very easy when she doesn't get her way, she is a little diva and the boss of the house but she is perfectly healthy,.. because of her personality she doesn't seem to care much for her little brother, yes they are always together but she plays w him maybe just once a day for like 30 minutes,.. My son, on the other hand, was always a very easy baby, rarely cried, he is always laughing, he smiles back, he loves to dance, he does say some words, banana, mama, papa, water, cat, dog, gabba gabba (for the yo gabba gabba show). and his all time favorite word:"marshmellow".... He los to hug and gives kisses,.. he plays tag and w building blocks, and he loves to draw,.. he climbs everywhere and can run really fast,... oh, he can pay attention for a long time, like when watching movies, cartoons, he focuses and smiles and laughs when he sees something funny (almost anything is funny to him)... he has also cried when something bad happens in movies or cartoons,.. I have to say he watches more tv that I would like to admit,.. the truth is that I tought he was just my easy happy son and I tend to pay more attention to his sister,... so maybe that's the main reason he is not talking??? Anybody went through this confusing time? worrying about a 2 y o not talking? Oh, also maybe this is too much info, but he still drinks breastmilk,... of course he can eat anything else but I haven't been strong enough to deny giving him milk, because he seems to prefer breastmilk anytime...

You haven't done anything wrong!! !

Now. Yes, he should probably see a pediatrician. It sounds like he says some words, so he's not completely non-verbal. I would suggest turning the TV off and interacting with him more. Boys tend to be slower to display language skills than girls, so don't panic if he's behind where your daughter was. It sounds like he's fine otherwise.

And if the two of you still enjoy it, keep breastfeeding! It's still good for him, and so is the bonding time!!

Hi, I sent you a pm. xxo <3

Every state in the US has an agency called something like Early Intervention (in CA it's called Regional Services). If you contact them, they will come out and do some screening tests. If the delay is large enough, they will provide speech therapy free of charge.

One helpful thing to do is to write down all the words your child says for a day or two, then count how many words he uses. A 25 month old should use at least 50 words, and start making two word phrases -- "duck hat" was my son's first combination, and it happened right after he passed the 50 word mark (he had a minor delay). Bilingual children do sometimes have some delay, but it's worth getting things checked out just in case.

Two books that are really good for teaching you how to help your child learn to talk are:
It Takes Two to Talk
More Than Words

There is also a charity called the Scottish Rite Center that offers speech therapy to kids who aren't covered by insurance and don't qualify through Early Intervention.

OK lady-- Deep breath.

Deeeeeeep breath.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

100% NOT YOUR FAULT.

If there is a problem, and you're catching it at 25 months, you are doing a phenomenally good job. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER.

It's completely normal to give more attention to the difficult child, and leave the more or less content one alone. Frankly, dear-- let's just assume for a moment that your son does have some degree of autism (which he may, but based on your description it would be relatively minor). OK. We have that assumption. He probably appreciated being left to his own devices, in his own little world.

It's never too late to turn off the TV and spend some more time with him (and two is such a fun age-- that's when they start being more like people and less like pets). But-- take another deep breath. Because-- a lot of autistic kids NEED to be left to do their own thing for a while every day. Some of us need it A LOT. Because it's how we calm down. And we can't calm down if someone's trying to talk/play/therapy/interact with us. And if we can't CALM down, then we MELT down (pitch a fit, have a tantrum, lose our tempers). And we can't learn anything if we are not calm and melting down.

So-- PLEASE STOP GUILTING YOURSELF. It isn't going to help. It's only going to hurt.

Just wanted to say that being multilingual also can contribute to a speech delay HOWEVER that is NOT to blame you but to COMMEND you because in the long run multilingual children often have a very high aptitude for learning! To comfort you:
http://www.asha.org/Publications/leader ... 91013a.htm
Hope this helps!! ! Your son is very lucky to grow up in a multilingual household!!

Books.

Books that have pictures, with the word underneath.
Books are a VERY good item for little boys who don't talk much yet. Why?

Because a book is a set length of pages - which means (after a few times) he will associate a book with "mom will be spending a bit of time with me now, without running off to do other things - yay!"
And that too - it means you are sitting with him. Contact (proximity to mom - yay!) is comfortable. Sitting (if done in a calm, regular place, at a regular time, etc) cuts out a good many distractions.
Reading aloud in this calm setting allows him to LOOK at the picture, and HEAR MOM SAY WORDS, in a comfortable setting. It will trigger that words are comfortable, etc etc.

From your post, I can see you're smart enough to see where I'm going with this. Dedicated "listen to mom talk WITH ME" time is probably the best step you can take immediately. And heck, maybe you can get your daughter to sit down too and once in a while take over the task of reading, and bonding with her little bro.

Hi,

I'm new here too and I can't lend much expertise about your son's verbal skills, but it did strike me that you don't have much of a support system and you don't seem very happy about it. I would suggest trying things like meetup.com ... you can look for groups organized around your hobbies, stay-at-home-mom meetup groups, and everything in between. It could give you a chance to get out of the house and talk with adults while your kids play with other kids. Unlike your daughter's activities, these are more oriented towards moms and could provide an avenue to strike up a friendship with someone. I did this after I had my second son and while I didn't stay with the meetup groups very long, I made a good friend out of the experience.

You could also look at La Leche League for a local support group (just google La leche league and you should be able to find a name and number for the local leader). Yes, it's centered around infants, but there will be other moms there with nursing toddlers. Which, btw, is totally okay and even beneficial for both you and your son so long as you're both happy with it. And if you do want to wean, LLL can provide advice and support with that too.

Good luck.

Hi,

When my son was little, he was cared for by my sister-in-law and mother-in-law, both of whom spoke Spanish, while I was at work. He was a little late at language development. His pediatrician was not overly concerned because he said that in his experience, babies in bilingual homes sometimes start speaking a little later. He believes due to the fact that...well...everything has 2 names, a simple sentence has 2 ways of being said, etc. Indeed, when my son started speaking he very quickly caught up and surpassed his peers.

To be completely honest, at that point, we thought my son was typical. It wasn't until later that we found out he had ADHD, SPD and NLD. So now I really don't know if his delayed language was due to his wiring or to being raised in a bilingual environment, but I think it is at least worth throwing out there since it sounds like your son is on target in other areas. This is not to say that you should not bring him in for an evaluation, because I think you still should. But according to my son's pediatrician--who has a large number of bilingually raised children--the delay is not always a sign of problems.

You sound like you care... and delayed speech happens sometimes. Evaluations are important. I am a librarian, and get to see a lot of kids of all ages. Each develops at his or her own rate. What I learned about language is... speak to your children in your own language whenever possible. Any language development is good... the more you talk, the more they can understand, and will help later on when it comes to understanding English as they gain the ability for language. I got some literacy and language training on that point, and my mom is an ESL teacher and my sister is a speech therapist so I get to hear a lot about it.

Its amazing how many similarities I see in your and my situation - that was 14 years ago. My son is 16 now and after many years of evaluations and confusion, has a diagnosis of ASD. I really hope and pray that its a minor delay in case of your son and he quickly catches up but to be safe, please just give him as much social exposure as much as possible. This is something I will always regret not doing in time.. Late speech may mean nothing, but many times its ared flag and I have seen that in a few cases. Your daughter reminds me of mine, who was always doing too many things at any time and very precocious - too busy to pay attention to her little brother. My son was , and is very sensitive, and I remember he used to sob when he used to watch Peter Rabbit being chased

Remember that even if he is on the spectrum ,you do NOT have a fault in that. But keep him around kids and all the best to you.
Take care

...also I second all about Books and Reading that Oddfiction said. Its very important to read to hima dn get him interested in books....

From what I was reading about your son, I am a bit confused...you're saying he's not talking, but then you say he can name several objects? Also you mentioned several things that suggest that your son has a healthy sense of empathy and social reciprocity (seeking to share experiences with others). Single words at age 2 is slightly delayed, but it may represent any variety of things. A pediatrician is certainly a good first step. Just to reassure you, as you're waiting for your insurance, you may check this site: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/mile ... s-2yr.html
Also, you may want to check with your doctors, if there is some way that you can go sooner (like perhaps the insurance is retroactive, and you could be dropping in any time, and being covered with a bit of extra leg-work).

Again, I'm not clear on what you mean when you say "not talking". Do you mean, he's stopped talking altogether? Or is he just not talking in 2-4 word sentences, and rather - only saying single words?

Good luck to you!