Arrgh Mother nature calling

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I cringe at writing this post.

My daughter 11 had her first visit from mother nature today. It was inevitable, I got that. She is very middle of the middle of the spectrum. And non verbal as best we can tell not high functioning. Also has a MR diagnosis.

We are trying to figure out what to do about school.

Wife idea. Keep her home on these days. Then get her on some type of controlling med ASAP.

My suggestion is send her to school like normal. The teacher and all the aids are female. She is supervised 100% of the time by either the aid or teacher. I plan to call the nurse first thing in the AM. If the nurse implies that it's not something she can handle I will drive (20 min) to the school and get her, and bring her home.

opinions? idea's?

My sister in law teaches a special education class with children with MR and autism that may need help with feminine sanitary needs. The school nurse and/or an aide are able to handle the situation, but you may need to talk to them about it. There is no need to keep her home every time.

I remember my first call from Mother Nature. It posed a problem for me, because I have different issues from your daughter. I've felt like a male trapped in a female body since I was three. Mother Nature decided to threaten my inner masculinity when I was 10. I cried about her next three visits. I wasn't ready for it. I wanted to be a man when grew up. I felt that I was punished for being the way I am and feeling the way I do. I feel very much like a man, even during that monthly visit.

I would keep her home b/c she is probably scared if her receptive language/understanding is not good. She might think she is hemorrhaging and I doubt she would get much out of school, today. That would give you time to explain things if you can to her, let her have a comfortable day at home. That gives you time to call the school, find out what there general procedure is, and you can figure out if she is up to it for tomorrow.

TMI maybe (even though you probably already know this)---Even for HFA and NT girls this can feel very gross and uncomfortable. She may be in an awful mood, have trouble dealing with it from a sensory perspective, have aches etc. I would let her stay home, and coddle her, if it were me.

I would let her stay home this month. Get her on a mitigating medication immediately, have her take it back to back with no breaks so that she will have less or absent issues that time of the month. Once it is gone or made much more manageable she can stay in school.

My daughter is HFA and this is honestly the current plan. Her hygeine is not good, I can't imagine her trying to take care of this. If I can make it easier for her I will. We have a while before we need to worry though.

^^^^^Even better, yes.

I just thought of another thing, as well. She may not want other people taking care of her in such an intimate way. That might very well freak her out, and honestly from a safety perspective it is easier to take care of her if she does not think it is usual for people (even other females) to touch her in that intimate a way, if you follow what I mean.

I imagine the school staff has handled this sort of issue before. I think having a conversation with them and the nurse about it would help. Because your daughter is non-verbal, you may want to be extra aware if she seems to be experiencing any pain or discomfort, and if that may be influencing her behavior in any way. If so, you'll want to make extra sure that on those sorts of days, the school staff know, and can accommodate her.

I really would not get her hormonal medication out of no reason, only to stop menstruation. They are not sugar pills, but have impact on hormon balance of her body, so this should not be done lightly.

I´d simply let her this time at home, tell her about the stuff without doing anything superexcited about it (Simply behave to it, like a boy getting a mustache...if it was like that you would not freak out as well, but simply think of it as something totally normal and explain relaxed, that due to him getting older now his hair is growing, and thats totally normal, and that he will now need to shave. ^^)

And the handling of that "always" diapers (dont know the correct english word) is as well not that complicated. If you feel unsure about it, you can use the extra long ones that are made for night and have extra side protectors on it, so these normally last for me easily half of an day. So at the start you can care about that in the morning yourself and when she comes home from school again, and when she is more used to it, and can change them herself she can use "lighter" ones or experience with tampons.

There is absolutely nothing freaky about that, and I would care as well for treating it yourself that way, because if you freak out about it and think of it of something weird and special, then she will as well feel weird about it.

I agree with those who said to keep her home this time. The first menses are bound to be a big deal for a girl on the spectrum, and having limited communication or understanding would make it even harder. There is a lot she is going to have to learn about taking care of herself during her cycles, and she will have to adjust to change of routine and possibly emotional and physical discomfort. Every one of those adjustments can be magnified depending on the girl.
I would spend the first couple of days very close to her, asking her how she feels, making her comfortable, helping her change, and etc. Phone the school and tell them why she is away, and see how it goes. If she seems to be coping ok you can put a system in place for her next month, or the one after that.
Personally, I would not put her on hormonal medication. Help her to chart her cycles so she can expect when she'll be menstruating.
J.