Please listen, parents. Hate on me for it if you want.

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19 Feb 2014, 5:40 pm

Here's the thing. And honestly, I'm really about done here and about to be out of it. The forum I mean. My generation and the next one, like my grown kids, I can't do anything to help. They bought into the victim mentality. Oh God, I have AS, I can't do ANYTHING, EVER! But maybe this next generation I can help out. If one parent out here hears me and doesn't write me off as a nutcase, I'll be happy. Stop treating your AS kids like little spun glass creations, cause you will turn them into that if you aren't careful. We are tougher than you think. We can learn things. Treat them like you would any other kid. Any other kid that you would let learn to grow up that is. Don't make their AS your life's mission. Have your own life's mission which doesn't include them! Yes, it sounds cold but do it!

Don't let the dx play you. It's playing too many people as it is. "Oh, my poor child! I must protect him and wrap him in cotton gauze because he's so fragile!" Yeah, keep doing that and you breed a basement dweller who thinks the world is against him, CAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT! Teach them that they can fight back. That they can speak up. That they can prove themselves and you expect nothing less and you tolerate nothing less! Do not do them like my mother did me! I barely escaped, and yes, stupid whining girl from another thread or not, I happen to be strong. I wasn't born that way, I learned to be that way. It's the best gift you can ever give your kids, to make them fight their own battles, grow up, act right, etc. You may say "But AS kids aren't like other kids". YES WE ARE! WE DONT WANT TO BE! STOP TREATING US LIKE WE ARE SO DiFFERENT! If you keep treating us like we are different, then you are no better than the bullies, except you bully us into staying in our little shells, in your control, etc.

I got one that I think has it and he's also deaf in one ear. So the hell what? He's learned to live in the real world. He's GLAD he did. i showed him this before I posted it and he just said "Fistbump Mom" and he did. He can function just as well as any other man around can. Because he wasn't coddled. Because he was made to toughen up. He's gratefull to me for that. My mother would have me living there with her and a ton of f*****g cats if she could. Oh, hell no.

My oldest moved back in recently. the boy i didnt talk to in three years! he went to move back in and i told him that he has three months then his s**ts gonna be in the yard and the locks are changed. You HAVE TO be that way with them! And he's even NT.

Either way, I'm pretty much done. Overprotective Moms, ya'll just yell at me now, but remember. You reap what you sow.

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cubedemon6073
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19 Feb 2014, 6:09 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

Here's the thing. And honestly, I'm really about done here and about to be out of it. The forum I mean. My generation and the next one, like my grown kids, I can't do anything to help. They bought into the victim mentality. Oh God, I have AS, I can't do ANYTHING, EVER! But maybe this next generation I can help out. If one parent out here hears me and doesn't write me off as a nutcase, I'll be happy. Stop treating your AS kids like little spun glass creations, cause you will turn them into that if you aren't careful. We are tougher than you think. We can learn things. Treat them like you would any other kid. Any other kid that you would let learn to grow up that is. Don't make their AS your life's mission. Have your own life's mission which doesn't include them! Yes, it sounds cold but do it!

Don't let the dx play you. It's playing too many people as it is. "Oh, my poor child! I must protect him and wrap him in cotton gauze because he's so fragile!" Yeah, keep doing that and you breed a basement dweller who thinks the world is against him, CAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT! Teach them that they can fight back. That they can speak up. That they can prove themselves and you expect nothing less and you tolerate nothing less! Do not do them like my mother did me! I barely escaped, and yes, stupid whining girl from another thread or not, I happen to be strong. I wasn't born that way, I learned to be that way. It's the best gift you can ever give your kids, to make them fight their own battles, grow up, act right, etc. You may say "But AS kids aren't like other kids". YES WE ARE! WE DONT WANT TO BE! STOP TREATING US LIKE WE ARE SO DiFFERENT! If you keep treating us like we are different, then you are no better than the bullies, except you bully us into staying in our little shells, in your control, etc.

I got one that I think has it and he's also deaf in one ear. So the hell what? He's learned to live in the real world. He's GLAD he did. i showed him this before I posted it and he just said "Fistbump Mom" and he did. He can function just as well as any other man around can. Because he wasn't coddled. Because he was made to toughen up. He's gratefull to me for that. My mother would have me living there with her and a ton of f***ing cats if she could. Oh, hell no.

My oldest moved back in recently. the boy i didnt talk to in three years! he went to move back in and i told him that he has three months then his s**ts gonna be in the yard and the locks are changed. You HAVE TO be that way with them! And he's even NT.

Either way, I'm pretty much done. Overprotective Moms, ya'll just yell at me now, but remember. You reap what you sow.

Well, let's look at your track record. How many times have you complained about your husband and this ole boy guy you are seeing on the side? Let's also see. You have herpes by Ole Boy as well. I believe your husband is an alcoholic. Your son does not have a steady job and didn't you say he dropped out of high school as well or am I mistaken. There was one incident you and your own children cursed out your own husband. Why did you do this? Let's if I can remember. Oh yes, I remember, it was because your husband wanted to have sex with a prostitute and wasn't this during his birthday.

Everyone can look all of this up and confirm this for yourself and go through all of her posts. They speak for themselves. Would you want to raise your child in the environment she has brought her children up in. Is this the kind of tough you all want in which the toughness leads to one getting herpes? When I look at the evidence presented before me from all of your posts, I think if I was you I would rather have lived with your mother and many cats. Is this the toughness that parents want from their children?

Like she says, "You reap what you sow." Parents, look up all of her posts and weigh the evidence for yourselves and come to your own conclusions.

In addition, look at what is going on with our country as well. By what is going on in our country especially with those who have had problems obtaining a career after college. A number of them were expected to do it on their own and a number of them failed? Are children taught the critical thinking skills needed in school to being able to navigate their careers and to dissect the arguments of what authority figures say? Based upon the outcome of the job market, I think we need more parental involvement, not less. Children need more guidance than ever not less. Look at the evidence as to how America is today. Children need real skills and real instruction not self-esteem classes.

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 19 Feb 2014, 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OliveOilMom
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19 Feb 2014, 6:12 pm

The prostitue thing was NOT me! Go back and reread! And yes. It's better to be tough and live a hard life than to be catered to by an overprotective, smothering mother who b*****s about other kids playing vidya games!! !! !! ! BTW, whats your life like?

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babybird
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19 Feb 2014, 6:30 pm

I would've loved a protective mother.

I hate that I was thrown to the wolves. All I've ever seemed to have done in my life is fight, fight, f*****g fight and I never get used to it. I hate it.

People think I'm all tough but I'm not. The only place in the world where I can be me is on WP. And I'm only just learning to trust people on here after about 2 years or so. I've been scared all my life even though I can look after myself.

I don't know what is right or wrong here. I think as long as you love your kids then that's the main important thing.

Some kids are tougher and more resilient than others.

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OliveOilMom
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19 Feb 2014, 6:36 pm

You lived though, right? Everybody wants what they don't have. You know that as well as me. You came through it, so can anybody else.

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babybird
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19 Feb 2014, 6:45 pm

Yes. I think that children should be exposed to life's hard knocks.

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cubedemon6073
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19 Feb 2014, 6:58 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

The prostitue thing was NOT me! Go back and reread!

What do you mean "The prostitute thing was NOT me!"

OliveOilMom wrote:

And yes. It's better to be tough and live a hard life than to be catered to by an overprotective, smothering mother who b*****s about other kids playing vidya games!! !! !! !

Why? Can you provide clarification please? Why is either good? If neither is good why do you consider living a hard life better than having an overprotective and smothering mother? What is the essence of toughness? What is its' fundamental meaning?

OliveOilMom wrote:

BTW, whats your life like?

What do you want to know? Will you please ask me some specific questions?

If you want to get inside my head here is my blog. http://whyifailedinamerica.wordpress.com/

I guess I do have to write an autobiography of sorts on my blog.

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 19 Feb 2014, 7:41 pm, edited 4 times in total.

cubedemon6073
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19 Feb 2014, 7:00 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

You lived though, right? Everybody wants what they don't have. You know that as well as me. You came through it, so can anybody else.

What is the basis for your assertion? Can you prove that everyone and anyone can "live through it"?

If the beliefs of America is good like you have then why does America have adults over 18 in which 26.2% have some form of mental illness?

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publicat ... ndex.shtml

Let's look at the stats of America. http://www.businessinsider.com/here-are ... t-1-2012-6

Is our way really working? Is this whole bravado of confidence and toughness good for our souls? The evidence is mounting up that the American culture we live in is dysfunctional.

You say we have to get in the real world. What if the "real world" that is the problem? Is the "real world" ever wrong? What is this "real world?" Has anyone outside traveled or lived outside of the USA including outside of the western world? Is the real world the world that encompasses the whole planet Earth or is the real world the part in which you grew up in which more than likely is the USA?

You say one has to be tough. Why? What does one win in the end? What exactly is the prize?

No matter how we all live our lives we all end up 6 ft under, correct? What is the purpose of life and how shall we all live?

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 19 Feb 2014, 7:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

cubedemon6073
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19 Feb 2014, 7:02 pm

babybird wrote:

Yes. I think that children should be exposed to life's hard knocks.

Why? Can you provide a justification? Where do life's hard knocks come from? Should they be exposed to all of life's hard knocks? If yes, why? If not, which life's hard knocks should they be exposed to and which should they not be exposed to? Let's say no child in the USA was exposed to the hard knocks and were taught everything they needed to know wouldn't some of the hard knocks be gone? If yes, does this mean some of life's hard knocks exists because of the belief that our children should be exposed to them? Do we not create a logical paradox that by exposure to some of life's hard knocks they are created in the first place? If I am correct, why not remove exposure to prevent their creation?

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 19 Feb 2014, 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Marcia
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19 Feb 2014, 7:08 pm

I don't consider myself to be an over-protective mother. If anything, I'm more hands-off than many I know.

However, not all children "come through", and of those that do, many are scarred for life by experiences for which they were unprepared and received little to no support.

It's a difficult balancing act for all parents, and we have to take into account all the factors at any given time.

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19 Feb 2014, 7:49 pm

I agree with OliveOilMom. I don't think it is just AS kids either.

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19 Feb 2014, 7:55 pm

Many thanks, OliveOilMom......& I'm behind you on this one! Because Aspies are different, being tough is requisite. We'll learn that on our own. To be treated with dignity, to acknowledge our strengths, goes a long way. I think it's an important distinction that parents (and any other adult) can be sensitive and caring without coddling any given Aspie.

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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown

LabPet
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19 Feb 2014, 7:58 pm

Oooo, there's a YouTube video for this too!! ! <Lab Pet raises hand to share>

Let's all have a wedge of cheddar, yes?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xK9qv611sU[/youtube]

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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown

Last edited by LabPet on 19 Feb 2014, 8:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MjrMajorMajor
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19 Feb 2014, 8:00 pm

Marcia wrote:

Exactly. It's not either/ or, but finding the right balance for each child.

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19 Feb 2014, 8:01 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:

OliveOilMom wrote:

Here's the thing. And honestly, I'm really about done here and about to be out of it. The forum I mean. My generation and the next one, like my grown kids, I can't do anything to help. They bought into the victim mentality. Oh God, I have AS, I can't do ANYTHING, EVER! But maybe this next generation I can help out. If one parent out here hears me and doesn't write me off as a nutcase, I'll be happy. Stop treating your AS kids like little spun glass creations, cause you will turn them into that if you aren't careful. We are tougher than you think. We can learn things. Treat them like you would any other kid. Any other kid that you would let learn to grow up that is. Don't make their AS your life's mission. Have your own life's mission which doesn't include them! Yes, it sounds cold but do it!

Don't let the dx play you. It's playing too many people as it is. "Oh, my poor child! I must protect him and wrap him in cotton gauze because he's so fragile!" Yeah, keep doing that and you breed a basement dweller who thinks the world is against him, CAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT! Teach them that they can fight back. That they can speak up. That they can prove themselves and you expect nothing less and you tolerate nothing less! Do not do them like my mother did me! I barely escaped, and yes, stupid whining girl from another thread or not, I happen to be strong. I wasn't born that way, I learned to be that way. It's the best gift you can ever give your kids, to make them fight their own battles, grow up, act right, etc. You may say "But AS kids aren't like other kids". YES WE ARE! WE DONT WANT TO BE! STOP TREATING US LIKE WE ARE SO DiFFERENT! If you keep treating us like we are different, then you are no better than the bullies, except you bully us into staying in our little shells, in your control, etc.

I got one that I think has it and he's also deaf in one ear. So the hell what? He's learned to live in the real world. He's GLAD he did. i showed him this before I posted it and he just said "Fistbump Mom" and he did. He can function just as well as any other man around can. Because he wasn't coddled. Because he was made to toughen up. He's gratefull to me for that. My mother would have me living there with her and a ton of f***ing cats if she could. Oh, hell no.

My oldest moved back in recently. the boy i didnt talk to in three years! he went to move back in and i told him that he has three months then his s**ts gonna be in the yard and the locks are changed. You HAVE TO be that way with them! And he's even NT.

Either way, I'm pretty much done. Overprotective Moms, ya'll just yell at me now, but remember. You reap what you sow.

I don't disagree with what Olive Oil Mom said, but just wanted to point out - you forgot that she is going to sell her 17 y o daughter to gypsies for $10,000. Because to not sell her to gypsies would be coddling her. (I still think she's pulling out legs.)

cubedemon6073
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19 Feb 2014, 8:02 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:

Marcia wrote:

Exactly. It's not either/ or, but finding the right balance for each child.

That's what I say as well.

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