Why I'm NEVER Having Children

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I thought it may be useful for some people, as well as for myself, to make a list of reasons why I am never having children. I'm a Christian, so some of my reasoning on this list has Bible verses, just a warning lol

Why I'm Never Having Children:
- Having children can't be undone, you can get rid of them, but that requires adoption, and I would feel like a failure if I did that.
- I'm afraid I won't get the desired gender if I have children "the old fashioned way".
- I'm afraid I will take my anger out at my children.
- I'm afraid I will yell at my children.
- I'm afraid I will view my children as inferior, and maybe even treat them so.
- I'm afraid I will give my children too much/ too little freedom.
- I'm afraid I will be too little/too much of a bossy person to my children.
- I believe most children are selfish liars.
- I believe children are generally immature.
- I'm afraid I will lie to my children.
- I'm afraid I will compare my parenting skills to other parents negatively.
- I'm afraid I will be jealous of other people's children and their behavior.
- Some religions and churches teach part of parenting a child requires physical punishment, I could never do that well.
- Some interpretations of religious teachings state that you can judge someone by how their kids are. Some people think the Bible passage "Matthew 7:17-20" teaches you can judge a "tree" (the parent) who does not bear good fruit (the children) and that bad trees (bad parents) will be thrown into the fire (hell). Why would I want to take that risk?
- With the above reason in mind, I am afraid my children will be influenced by other people and groups to make bad decisions, and then I will be judged based on my children's bad decisions, when it wasn't me that caused them to do it.
- I'm afraid I won't be able to or not be good at expressing love and affection to my children.
- I'm afraid I will become sick of my children, get bored of them.
- I'm afraid I will only focus on my children's faults, not on their positive attributes. (I do this to everyone else all the time).
- I'm afraid I won't be good at praising my children. (I attempt to give positive support to people all the time, but I'm not good at it).
- I'm afraid I will criticize my children (I only do this to people who are weaker than me and when I'm feeling sad and negative).
- I'm afraid I will publicly humiliate my children, intentionally and unintentionally.
- I'm afraid I won't be able to think clearly and control my temper when my children act foolish or try and make me mad.
- I'm afraid I will make extremely hypocritical requirements for my children (I want them to grow up better than me, but in order for that to happen I would have to make rules I can't follow myself in my opinion).
- I'm afraid I will force politics and opinions on my children.
- I'm afraid I will become angry and ashamed of myself when I see my children make the same stupid mistakes that I made.
- I'm afraid I won't be able to stand up for my children when they need standing up for, or that I'll be too afraid to do it.
- If I choose to have children the "old fashioned way" (no adoption), I'm afraid that if my children have physical features (like facial structure) that are generally considered unattractive, that that will have a huge effect on how I view myself.
- I'm afraid my children will have a medical problem or birth disorder. (A LOT do...)
- If my children turn out "bad" like described in Luke 6:43 (“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit), then according to the bible, that would be a direct reflection on how "good" or "bad" of a person I am. That's a LOT of pressure in my opinion, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if someone came up to me and told me "your children have bad behavior/beliefs" because I take this verse word for word.
- In general, I don't enjoy being around children.

If you don't think you can put your heart and soul into being the best parent you could be, I applaud your decision to never have children.

But never is a very absolute word.

One thing that jumps out in your list: "I'm afraid." Of course you would be afraid; everyone going into parenthood is afraid. But it is that fear that gets them checking on themselves and working towards being a better parent.

Still, if you think kids are selfish liars and don't enjoy them then, yes, better not to become a parent. Until you've changed those notions, at minimum, anyway

I was not trained how to be a proper parent. my parents did the best they could but the parenting wherewithal was not imparted on me.

Most of the world population have kids because they were horny.
Oops! Too late! The End.

I can't help but think that Aldous Huxley's vision of a potential future could not be any worse than what we have now.

I'm curious why you posted this in the parents' section. It would not be useful for any of us to make a list of reasons why we will never have children. We already have them.

Your last reason is probably your most valid reason. If you do not enjoy children, having one of your own would be a big mistake and the price would not be paid by you, it would be paid by your child.

If you are looking for feedback regarding your suitability as a parent, I would say that at this point in time, you are better off not becoming one. Parenthood is not for everyone. Because parenthood is still pretty much a social norm, I think it is courageous to acknowledge that it is not for you.

There are many reasons why one might choose not to have children. My reasons are: 1) the world is already far too overpopulated, and 2) I could never assume the responsibility for bringing another person into this hell hole of a world and condeming them to 80 years of pain and suffering.

a part of me hoped [the melioristic part] that I could raise a child to be a benefit to this world, and the pejoristic part feared that I would produce a sociopathic monster. the latter won out.

I never had kids because it just wasn't in the cards. I've been unlucky at love, too. I've never been around someone who wanted a kid by me.

I finally met somebody who did but both of us are too old for such now.