Touching private parts

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Hello! I need some guidance and advice. My 9 yr old Aspie son has discovered that touching and playing with his private parts is fun. I know that it is normal for boys to start getting erections, and begin to explore their privates, but I just wasn't expecting it this early. I am trying not to make a big deal out of this, but it seems as though he is doing it more and more. Only at home, but several times a day I am finding him playing with himself. This is embarrassing for me to post, but I only have the one son, so I have nothing to compare this too.

Can any of you offer any input as to whether this is a normal age for this to begin and how did you handle it.

let him know it is okay, but that he should do it in private.

Excellent advice.

Should have thought of that myself LOL

impart on him that there are ungood consequences of being caught in public.

Thanks for responses----I guess what I am trying to find out is if others can share with me what age this might have started with their sons. Should I be expecting puberty soon? He seems so immature in so many ways, I guess I am just surprised.

That's right in the usual age range for discovering that their body can do that. Not unusual at all.

It's worth teaching the concepts of what are "private" spaces (bathroom w/ door closed, bedroom w/ door closed, etc) and what are "public" spaces" (Anywhere where another person can see you...or however you'd like to define it). Then teach private behavior vs. public behavior.

Here's a free resource going over some of that info: http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservice ... ation.aspx

I have two sons- one NT, on AS. My NT son has never done that in any place I've ever seen. My AS son went through a phase of doing that when he was about 4-6 (he was fascinated by the changes in himself when he touched himself) and we had to get him to stop in public. It stopped for a while (in front of us, at least) and there was a resurgence around 8-9 yo, although this time he was pretty good about not doing it in public. We had to teach him appropriate places and inappropriate places to touch yourself (in the living room during family movie night being one of the inappropriate places). He is now 12.5yo and puberty does not appear to be anywhere in sight. I don't think the two are really very related. My NT almost 14 yo is just barely getting on the puberty train, from what I can tell.

Story of my life, so welcome to my world. My son began to rub himself several months ago, right around the time he turned 4-and-a-1/2. It was a stim that emerged very suddenly but caught on intensively. He began to not only rub / play with his private parts with his hands, but also developed the nasty habit of rubbing himself against people's legs (his father's especially), OT equipment and even playground swings / slides etc. It got to the point where I couldn't take him to our local park without having other parents notice and raise their eyebrows at him.

He does this to this very day - and in fact, the behaviour has morphed into an untaught sign for pee break. As soon as he starts playing with himself, I rush him to the toilet and usually he pees, but sometimes, he is just stimming. It is exhausting and incredibly frustrating.

I just gave up, I can't struggle / fight every single thing that he does or that happens, so I just let it go, telling myself that "boys will be boys". Life gets very overwhelming so just leaving it be is a sanity saver.

We started the "penises are for private" mantra when our son was very young. I am guessing that what you are experiencing now is umm more purposeful than the little boy type?

No advice here that is different from what anyone else's but my son is coming up on 9, and I guess I am trying to ask if this has a different intensity than the little boy type.

If it is the same type but you just haven't dealt with it in awhile it might just be a new interest in the cause and effect of rubbing it or a need to stim with it.

Have you noticed him looking at girls or pictures of girls in a different way?

I"m surprised it took him this long! When I used to babysit all of the little boys started doing it way younger, like 5-6.

Buth of my daughters have already been doing this too. I tell them to go to their room and do that privately but usually they just stop.

Thanks for all of your replies. Awww, His Mom, I wish I could give you a hug. We all have our struggles, and you are right, we just have to let some of them go.

My son actually did discover his privates when he was much younger (around 2 or so). And it has happened off an on through the years (especially in the bath tub). But this time, it seems as though the frequency is more, and he is starting to talk about that it feels good. And yes, he has started talking about girls. I really don't think he has an idea that it is connected in a sexual sort of way yet though. But who knows......

I guess my concern is that my son has gone through lots of other "stims", and I am wondering if this is going to be one of them. We have told him that it is normal and we realize that he thinks it feels good, but he should only do this in his room. He seems to understand this, but at the same time, I am hoping this doesn't turn into a stim like some of his others.

Right now I am just trying to redirect him into other activities. That is one thing my son has trouble with is finding things to keep himself busy. Yesterday, I said okay, let's find another activity to do, and he said "No, I am going to entertain myself doing this" LOL!

Anyway, thanks for the posts. It definitely helps to speak with those who understand where I am coming from.

I had to giggle as I could see my son saying the same, if he was not OK with being redirected. Do you have book on puberty? Some of the books have a discussion on masturbation and privacy. Maybe that is what you need, or maybe a social story?

Thanks ASD Mommy. I guess I should start reading up on it now. Even if it is not really happening, I guess it can't hurt to get prepared. Not looking forward to it!

I am not either.

I proactively bought a book for my son on puberty and rudimentary sex-ed. When I gave it to him, he tossed it and made a face that reminded me of that Big Bang Theory episode where they gave Sheldon a sex book so they could stop explaining all their jokes. Sheldon kept telling them it gave him nightmares and to stop referring him to it, whenever they referenced it.

(I hope you are familiar with the show as it will make more sense if you are. LOL)

One or more of the writers at BBT has, lives with, or knows someone with Asperger's REALLY well. I don't care if the producers say Sheldon doesn't have it - that's just because they don't want to deal with the PC issues (and I don't blame them for that). A lot of the things Sheldon says are word for word things that DS says. Sometimes they are things that I would say if I wasn't watching my tongue.
An example: the guys had been picking on someone who wasn't very smart, and felt bad about it. They decided they should apologize, but weren't sure what to say. Sheldon suggested something like, "I'm sorry you're stupid."
I actually said the words out loud at the same time he did.

I know some people don't like it b/c they think it is a geek version of a minstrel show; but as a geek, myself, I love that show so much.

I agree with you on Sheldon, and so does Jim Parsons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheldon_Cooper

"In an interview, Jim Parsons noted the writers' response, but added that, in his opinion, Sheldon "couldn't display more traits" of Asperger's.[64][67] Parsons, who plays Sheldon, has read John Elder Robison's memoir Look Me in the Eye about his life with Asperger syndrome, and said that: "A majority of what I read in that book touched on aspects of Sheldon". He also stated that "the way [Sheldon's] brain works, it's so focused on the intellectual topics at hand that thinking he's autistic is an easy leap for people watching the show to make".[68]"