how to handle annoying and teasing nephew?

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I have a annoying nephew who knows exactly how to tease me. Shes young, only 10 and Im a adult with mild form of aspergers. mostly adults know how to respond to being teased by a child, but for me, I cant respond thay well, Im just getting upset or sad. I tell my sister sometimes like "okey, sarah is annoying now..." so she can make her stop. But her respond is "why are you not liking your nephew??!". I DO like her but not when shes teasing to be mean and just annoys the s**t out of me. Every single little aspergerthing this kid finds strange she MUST pick on and say "whaaaaat????? Why cant you do that?! You gotta be kidding me!! You must be stupid, come on!" and question over and and over why I cant do things and how good she is that can. She cant accept that ppl are different. I find it most difficult that my sister doesnt explain anything just saying Im hard or difficult or dont like kids or something.

Anyone more with this problem, what to do?

Have you actually explained this to your sister word for word like you have here or are you just saying to her that your niece is "being annoying". I'm asking because I like to be as succinct with people as possible and I forget that they don't actually know what I mean. I feel like what I mean is blatantly obvious, but it actually isn't to them.

Forget the fact that your sister should have noticed that her daughter's behaviour is unacceptable. That will just make you feel annoyed. Instead focus on explaining why what your niece is doing is disrespectful.

Say: "when she does x it makes me feel y."

i.e. say: "when she says I am stupid that is hurtful."

Or you could directly tell your niece that calling people stupid is not nice and she should not do that. I remember my Grandma and my.mother telling me, "no don't say that". If you don't set boundaries children will not know where to stop.

Thanks for your respond.

The thing is, I have no problems to explain why her daughter is annoying me but I get no understanding just hostility. The problem is that my sister have a clear vision how a good aunt should be and Im clearly not that type. She can´t see how people are just how they SHOULD be. My sister have big problems with people that are different and my flaws are clearly shamefull for her as it is, with kid or not. She knows how I am but still isn´t helpful and never has, just saying Im disliking her daughter and "naa, aunt *** doesnt like kids, better you go to granny instead". This is even when I play with her and really trying! Just me having this issue??

Honestly, your sister sounds like a jerk. She clearly has little to no empathy or understanding of your condition, which is why she can't and won't stop her daughter from harassing you. She may even be taking a perverse pleasure in letting her kid say all the rude things she'd like to say herself.
My advice is to stay away from both of them whenever possible.

Oh, that's a shame, especially when you're trying so hard to get along with your niece.

I understand what it's like when you try your best and no matter what you do the other person has their mind set on not appreciating or seeing the effort.

I think it is possible your niece got her attitude from your sister in the first place. Honestly, I think you are being too nice. I think when your sister says your niece should go to granny, you should agree that this is a good idea. If they give you a hard time about you not liking kids I would say something like you like kids when they are well-behaved and well-mannered.

Normally, I would not give advice like that b/c my kid is not so well-mannered, but I think your niece knows exactly what she is doing, and that it is malicious because of the words she uses.

Yes, I think Im too nice as well... I often feel that way,
but when all Im getting is "you are not kind to your little niece when you
doesnt want to spend much time with her"
then im feeling confused. Like my feelings
may not be right. I start to thinking like
"maybe I am boring/hard to reach/not good and she has a reason
to react this way". My insecurities makes me feel unsure.

There are certain expectations that are societal and some are family culture also. Your sister, mother and other members of your family may have expectations of you that are not in keeping with who you are. That is first off. Secondly, your niece is not nice to you. I understand that when everyone around you say thine same thing, that it is hard to stand up for yourself, but I really would try to cut down on the amount of time you have to spend with her. If anyone questions you, just say it is not your thing, and she is not nice to you anyway and she should have more respect for her aunt. This is thing that traditionally - mindedpeople should in theory understand.

Another thing you can do, though it is less honest, is when they say you should spend more time with her, agree, but then don't do it. It is passive-aggressive thing and also not a thing I would recommend but if you are very conflict averse it might be the only way.

True. Its clearly expectations thats not keeping with who I am, thats right. I have tried to explain this many years that Im not good with kids (not interested either but I have always been kind). I will cut my time with them, more then before but its sad because its making me more lonely if I do. But, its always this same old story...niece stalking and talking until I go home again and I feel frustrating not able to talk to other adults and the other adults keep her doing what she is doing, nobody telling her to leave me alone. My niece family rarely visit me, they always have ten different excuses so they cant really care either.

Is it typical aspies to have problems to see clearly on ppl? I have always been like this, ppl treating me wrong but suddenly doing something nice and then I getting confused thinking like my thoughts were wrong. I wish I could have a better focus on whats good and whats bad and really SEE it CLEARLY.

Yes, I think it is a common thing. We expect consistency but people are not. Even if not being dishonest, sometimes the same person can be nice about one thing and mean about another. Or it can depend on mood. If you expect consistency, you will be disappointed.

Story of my life, right there. It's tough always feeling that anyone could do anything at any time.

Thats so hard for me, off course no one is completely consistent all the time but for me its difficult to see if a person is MORE good then bad (or the other way around) and stick with that feeling for a long period of time.

I wish it was some sort of a list somewhere, how to spot the bad in GOOD people, not just the obvious psychopaths out there. Its so many of those "how to spot a psychopath" but how about the more trickier ppl, the "nice" people that are really not so nice in the long run. That would be helpful to see, for me its so confusing that I mostly just stay hell out of everyone.

Had to admit it feels good to see that I´m not alone with that confusing feeling.