Why do people have kids if they can't parent them properly?

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Today I went to a local library and I played on the playground with a toddler girl and her sister

Everything was fine...until I decided to use the restroom!

When I got out, I heard the little girl SCREAMING at the top of her lungs which PISSED OFF her mom!! !

Because I was in the restroom I had no idea of the full extent of what was actually happening but I knew it couldn't be good whatever it was!

Perhaps they were pulling each other's hair or something?

I don't know

But then the mom literally YELLED at the 2 girls (I think one of their names was Jessie) to "GET IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW!! !! !!" which probably traumatized the little toddler girl and her sister!!

I mentioned in my SpongeBob thread on WP about a problematic episode of the show called "New Leaf" where Plankton yells "GET OUT!! !! !!" to Mr. Krabs for breaking his possessions and that's kinda how this mom acted with her kids

The difference is Plankton's anger was 100% justified because he was FURIOUS AT MR. KRABS for destroying his knick-knacks just to prove that Plankton only wanted the Krabby Patty Secret Formula and his gift shop was just a front!

What do you guys think about this?

Were both Plankton and the mom in the wrong?

Thanks in advance!! !

Now I am learning that the root cause of kids throwing tantrums and partners arguing is due to unmet core emotional needs?!?

So with the toddler on the playground maybe she felt that her sister didn't love her?

Or the mom acted the way she did because of events from her own childhood?

I mean it makes sense since we are basically wired from infancy to get our needs met!! !

I think by the point they've worked out they cant parent* we're a bit past the decision on having or not.

*That's if they even recognise the issue. Next door to us is a interesting one; single mum (he walked out when the kids were toddlers) and pretty much since they've spent the last 4-5 years screaming like something out a horror movie at each other, both mum and at least one of the girls who are about 5 or 6 now. I mean shouting and screaming themselves hoarse, slamming doors etc, to the point it's worrying, you wonder if there's something you should be doing.

I think the question is more at what point does it sink in that there's something deeply wrong with what you're doing, and seek help or whatever to redress; how can it not be blindingly obvious. But such lacking of introspection is hardly limited to parenting.

Parenting is difficult. I had so many good intentions, intentions which were less thrown out the window, and more sent into orbit and destroyed with a nuclear bomb!

I voted for plankton, but didn't realize you were speaking about a character in a cartoon. I voted for blaming plankton, but was thinking of amoebae, from which life on earth descends!

^yeah in retrospect I should have specified that I was referring to the cartoon character by using his full name "Sheldon J. Plankton"...

Really? If that caused so much trauma that it's life-altering, then the child or family already had other bigger issues. This really shouldn't be an issue.

Well, it is 100% possible there might be actual abuse going on within their family but it's none of my business!! !

After what happened, I HIGHLY doubt they will ever return to that library or playground!

I just wish I knew exactly what triggered this event in the first place?

What was the catalyst that caused the little girl to suddenly throw a tantrum?

Oh and I forgot to mention that when the mom told them to get in the car, the toddler started crying & wailing

I can confirm that she did that because she didn't want to leave the playground...

I doubt that. It's a library and a playground. Unless there are a ton around or they don't normally visit such places, chances are they'll be back.



The kid was having fun & likely doesn't want to stop. Normal to not want to leave & normal for a tired parent to be over it.



So you answered your own questions...

Not neccessarily because I don't know if her throwing a tantrum is what caused the mom to have that reaction and tell the 2 sisters to "GET IN THE CAR NOW!! !" or is it the having to leave that caused the toddler to have the tantrum?

Which came first?

IDK but it's in the past so no use dwelling on this incident since I'm not sure of the exact order of events!

HOWEVER, if it happens again I will tell the staff at the library so they can deal with it!! !

Not neccessarily because I don't know if her throwing a tantrum is what caused the mom to have that reaction and tell the 2 sisters to "GET IN THE CAR NOW!! !" or is it the having to leave that caused the toddler to have the tantrum?

Which came first?

I mean something would have had to precede the event to make the little girl act in that way, right?

Tantrums don't just occur at random!! !

They are CREATED by an external trigger

Besides fighting with her sister I cannot think of any other possibility but being upset over having to leave the playground

And the strange thing is that day when I was using the restroom I didn't hear the 2 sisters yelling

Not even once!

Meaning that the girls' mother was most likely the real trigger which goes back to bad parenting...

Today, I witnessed yet ANOTHER toddler temper tantrum incident, this time at a local thrift shop

What happened was a little Mexican girl was there with her mother and she wanted a scooter which her mom was all set to buy BUT...she also wanted other toys even though her mother said only the scooter

This caused the toddler (actually I'm not so sure if she is a toddler because I'm pretty sure toddlers DO NOT ride scooters so she might be 7 or up) to throw a tantrum and her mom took away the scooter because she didn't deserve it!! !

When the girl started crying and wailing I told my brother Josh to IMMEDIATELY leave the store since I didn't want to be subjected to that crap but the "offenders" left the "scene of the crime" so we were fine!

Unlike with the Library Playground incident, I witnessed the entire thing taking place so I know the correct order of events!

Toddlers think the whole world revolves around them, so when they don't get their way, they get angry and frustrated for not being in control of the situation. So they throw a tantrum, and then you definitely can't give them what they want because it rewards bad behavior.

Of course, there are plenty of adults that are like toddlers, and most of them are running this planet.

Hmm...I think you hit the nail on the head with your explanation!! !

If the toddler at the thrift store was content with JUST getting the scooter without anything else, she most likely would have got it!

But nooooo, she wanted the OTHER TOYS as well which was the catalyst and led to the tantrum! !

Since her mom didn't want to reward bad behavior like you said @lostonearth35 she took away the scooter which REALLY pissed off the little girl and caused her to wail saying: "But I want it!! !" (those were her exact words BTW) and then her mother even said: "I don't reward bad behavior!" and firmly escorted her out of the store with no scooter

All because she was GREEDY!

She might also be mad since I got a Barbie doll that day that she might have wanted so I feel like I somehow played a role in her misery...

From the perspective of little kids who have to live with their parents they might as well be trapped & imprisoned! !!

That's why they throw tantrums in the first place!

It's their way of protesting imprisonment and lack of freedom/autonomy

I remember a tantrum I had as a kid where I attempted to go to someone's house and my ABUSIVE babysitter Christine took me away from their house, picked me up and THREW ME ON MY BED!! !! !!

Something traumatic and tragic like that would DEFINITELY 100% stick in your head!

Or rather, she wanted a different doll than the one I got and got upset seeing that I was able to get a doll in the first place!! !

I'm pretty sure she would have went for the Princess Elsa doll over the black Chinese dollar store knock-off that I got

Those were the ONLY 2 choices that they had there and I am thinking the little girl wanted Elsa

I have lots of Disney Frozen Anna & Elsa fashion dolls and didn't need ANOTHER duplicate since I try to keep my collection unique so I left behind the Elsa Doll

Based on my analysis of the event and everything I know about how the story actually played out up to this point...it's safe to assume that I helped contribute to her tantrum!! !

But it wasn't on purpose!

I did NOT mean to upset someone, especially a young kid!!

What I am trying to get at here is I believe the mom at the playground and the mom at the thrift shop are both narcissists! !!

ESPECIALLY the mom at the playground because when the little girl & her sister were playing she just sat in her car and didn't even pay attention except when the toddler started tantruming!

Narcissism is the root cause of bad parenting!!