Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

jessicaP
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 29

29 Sep 2008, 11:55 am

Are there anyone self diagnosed after their kids were diagnosed? Now two months after my son's diagnose, I found my son's behavior is so much like me. We are both late talkers. I picked up really quick. My son is still talking with only vowels, but I understand him.

Yesterday when I was reading this forum, my husband complained again that I did not hear him . He never understands why I don't hear him sometimes, or even worse, don't response to him and come back minutes later ask "what did you say just now?" This happens most when I am reading. To me, it is perfectly normal if my son ignores me when he is pushing his trains, although the doctors and therapists disagree.

When I was young, I like to zone out my mind whenever I was bored or unhappy. I could walk from home to school without noticing any thing on the way, like a conscious sleep walk. My teacher said I walked as if I was counting every ants on my way. Zoning out was not always a bad thing. My school once took all kids to a stadium for an event, and it was very boring. Every kids talked, jumped up and down, ran around, except me. I sat there zoning out, no talking, no moving for two hours. I was praised by my teacher. Quiet and discipline is a great merit in Chinese culture. (I am Chinese) When I zone out under pressure, my mind is empty, when I zone out intentionally because I am bored, I make out stories in my head. My son does that too. Sometime he looks like he is doing some serious thinking. Sometimes he looks like he is just idling.

I was a late walker, and was clumsy in all sports except swimming. My physical education teacher didn't understand, why the second worst student can jump 3 feet and I can jump only two feet. In first and second grade, i had trouble finish my assignments in time because I wrote very slow. Today my handwriting is still child like. My son does not has gross motor delay at this time, but his fine motor skill is not good.

I was a good student in school. I didn't know how to defy orders. So even I didn't like school, I did everything teachers and my parents want me to do. My son would yell at me or his therapist and in the mean time does what I or the therapist ask him to do.

I hope as time past I can discover more connection between my son and myself, like
Love reading (I am a super fast reader. I finished Harry Potteer book 7 in 6 hours, and English is my second language)
Love science (Going to start as a professor soon)
Love construction toy (My research experiment is the coolest construction project you can ever image)
Find a person he loves and have family (My husband said it is more than fine if our son turns out having my personality)

Yesterday my son said his first "mama" and I was so happy. Going through this makes me feel more connected with my son.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

29 Sep 2008, 12:21 pm

How old is your son? It sounds like you have a very, very early diagnosis.

I believe it is very common for parents to realize that they are on the spectrum after a child has been diagnosed. My husband and I both went through a self-evaluation process, where I decided I had many AS traits but not enough to "be" AS, and my husband basically instantly clicked with, "oh, wow, I've always had Aspergers." Not that it matters much at this point in our lives; whatever burdens we were given were long ago compensated for or adjusted to, and we've both used our gifts to get where we are. But it definitely makes it easier to understand where the AS came from, with no latching onto metals theories or anything like that. Being able to see the clear genetic link, I believe, simplies the process of knowing what will be best for your child.

Welcome to WP and I wish you all the best in parenting and enjoying your uniquely wonderful child.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


jessicaP
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 29

29 Sep 2008, 12:33 pm

My son is almost 3. His diagnose is autism spectrum. Doctors did not say anything specific. He started talking 5 month ago, but yesterday was the first time he calls for people.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

29 Sep 2008, 12:41 pm

jessicaP wrote:
My son is almost 3. His diagnose is autism spectrum. Doctors did not say anything specific. He started talking 5 month ago, but yesterday was the first time he calls for people.


That must have been a cool moment for you.

Our kids do everyone in their own time, their own way. Sometimes even I forget that, when reading other people's posts, remembering only what my own son was like. He was early on most things, but always "different." Tough to explain. I don't think he could have been diagnosed at 2 or 3, but it would have eased over a few things if we had known. There can be a lot of power in knowledge, as long as you don't let everyone get you on the obsessive "treatment" train. Which I don't think you will ... it sounds like you really understand your child. There is another thread on this board that gives a pretty good discussion on early intervention, and that is probably worth reading. What can and should be done is very personal to each child, was basically the conclusion of this board.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


fbug
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 46

29 Sep 2008, 7:03 pm

JessicaP, I think DW_a_mom has nailed it regarding the "treatment train" and kids developing at their own pace. Too many "professionals" tend to think that anybody who starts talking late is "mentally disabled" will never be able to achieve anything in life and will be doomed to be a failure and a burden on society. I'm sure you know by now that is not true. The only thing that makes this even remotely true is the limitations imposed on these kids by the people who only look at labels instead of paying attention to their actual levels of functionality and treating them based on their individual abilities.

I will say again that you must never let anyone subject your son to any unnecessarily oppressive treatment, such as "special" classes/schools, or anything meant for low functioning kids. That is the last thing he needs right now. Just give him time and he will eventually speak normally, albeit a bit later. I am glad to hear you were not subjected to this horrible treatment while growing up (like I was, unfortunately :evil: ) and I want the same for your son and any other kids with similar issues.

Also, there is an article here regarding late talkers that may interest you. This should be a mandatory reading for anyone who evaluates late talkers.


_________________
I'm not really autistic. The "professionals" who labeled me couldn't distinguish an anxiety disorder from a developmental disability. I'm just here to give advice to help prevent what was done to me from happening to anyone else.


ster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,485
Location: new england

01 Oct 2008, 7:16 am

my hubby was diagnosed 3 months after my son was.

we both took the questionnaire- i have some traits, and hubby is off the charts !