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Giftorcurse
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29 Sep 2011, 5:04 am

aussiebloke wrote:
Let me guess your adopted ?

Nope.


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XlugonPyro
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29 Sep 2011, 9:21 am

nick007 wrote:
I'm cynical about biological parents. Why would they chose to bring a kid into this overpopulated world?
Sex is a fun way to get kids. They want kids that are authentically theirs.

Some people are highly skeptical of the "overpopulation" movement anyway or disregard it outright, so there's that. In other words, they don't believe the world is overpopulated, so hey, let's make kids.


Not that overpopulation matters anyway.



Fern
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30 Sep 2011, 8:03 pm

aussiebloke wrote:
Let me guess your adopted ?


I don't know if you were talking to me or not, but no I'm not adopted.
Actually, people tell me that I look like a miniature female version of my father.



GreySun369
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30 Sep 2011, 11:54 pm

I'm cynical about the idea of adobting children. Face it, children who are old enough to realize they've lost their natural parents tend to grow up with some serious issues. Most of the time they never form a loving bond with their "new" parents and grow up blaming them for all the problems in their lives. I guess that's why most parents perfer to adobt babies who are too young to realize they're being put up for adobtion.



nick007
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01 Oct 2011, 12:07 am

GreySun369 wrote:
I'm cynical about the idea of adobting children. Face it, children who are old enough to realize they've lost their natural parents tend to grow up with some serious issues. Most of the time they never form a loving bond with their "new" parents and grow up blaming them for all the problems in their lives. I guess that's why most parents perfer to adobt babies who are too young to realize they're being put up for adobtion.

I would rather adopt than have a baby. Babies don't do much besides cry, spit & poo, I can talk to an older kid & maybe help with those issues.


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GreySun369
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01 Oct 2011, 12:35 am

nick007 wrote:
GreySun369 wrote:
I'm cynical about the idea of adobting children. Face it, children who are old enough to realize they've lost their natural parents tend to grow up with some serious issues. Most of the time they never form a loving bond with their "new" parents and grow up blaming them for all the problems in their lives. I guess that's why most parents perfer to adobt babies who are too young to realize they're being put up for adobtion.

I would rather adopt than have a baby. Babies don't do much besides cry, spit & poo, I can talk to an older kid & maybe help with those issues.


Babies are easier to form a bond with because as soon as they are old enough to be aware of their surroundings they see you as a constant in their life. Children above toddler age are harder to bond with because most of the time they never accept you and will often resent you for trying to replace their natural parents.



Giftorcurse
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08 Nov 2011, 1:21 pm

Damn straight, Grey.


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hanyo
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08 Nov 2011, 4:50 pm

Without adoption what about the kids that aren't wanted by their parents? They have to end up somewhere.



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09 Nov 2011, 8:46 am

Yeah, it's not all as wonderful as it's made out to be. I mean, you grow up knowing that one set of parents didn't want you, and the other set only took you because they couldn't have their own. That's gonna mess you up a bit. Still, probably better that than the foster system or a group home or something.


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Giftorcurse
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05 Jan 2012, 6:23 pm

Ohoho, man, have I opened up a can of worms already.
I have no intentions of going Cujo on you all about how much "adoption sucks". I'm a different guy now. But anyway, I've been thinking about this for awhile, and thought I should vent in the form of writing. I'm not against adoption per se, but I'm a little cautious about the flaws that come with it, to the point that its all I see. Here's what I think:

-Depending on the kind of adoption you're going for, you can either have regular contact with the kid or not even know what he/she looks like or even what gender he/she is. That said, there are loopholes.
-The adoptive parents can either do wonders for the kid or f**k up his/her life completely. Depends on who gets the baby. You'll never know who they are, in some cases, and that's bad for you, especially if they're, shall we say, "morally undesirable people." According to polls, only 1% of adoptive parents abuse their kids. Yeah, right. That's not to say that all adoptive parents are bad people, just that there are some rotten apples in the basket waiting for oranges to be dropped in. A friend of my father named Jonas, a REALLY GREAT hard-working guy (not sarcasm, fact), is being put through Hell by the State, trying to fulfill his dream of fatherhood while Waingro from Heat gets your baby like a free soda refill. Adoption agencies can be totally unfair, in my opinion.
-Let's talk about the kids. There's a popular misconception that adopted people are more dysfunctional than those raised by their biological parents; in reality, they're about the same. They may experience grief and loss about severed from their biological ties, part of this odd, pre-programmed belief within us that blood runs thicker than the heart. It gets more fun in the teenage years. The usual Giftorcursian angst is coupled with identity and self-esteem issues. Some may feel they're "playing a part" to please Mom and/or Dad. There are loads of options for getting them to grow a pair, though.

Is it a bittersweet option? A gift to the unfortunate? Legalized kidnapping? A necessary evil? YMMV.

Let the debate begin.


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artrat
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05 Jan 2012, 9:01 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
Quote:
-Depending on the kind of adoption you're going for, you can either have regular contact with the kid or not even know what he/she looks like or even what gender he/she is. That said, there are loopholes.
-The adoptive parents can either do wonders for the kid or f**k up his/her life completely. Depends on who gets the baby. You'll never know who they are, in some cases, and that's bad for you, especially if they're, shall we say, "morally undesirable people." According to polls, only 1% of adoptive parents abuse their kids. Yeah, right. That's not to say that all adoptive parents are bad people, just that there are some rotten apples in the basket waiting for oranges to be dropped in

I would say that one percent is probably right since the adoptive parents are paying the adoption agency to raise them. :wink:
Most adoptive parent are better than the alternative which is foster homes,poverty,a teen mother,abusive parents or parents that were never fir to raise a child in the first place.
Define morally undesirable? Many morals are invented by religion or society.
Quote:
your baby like a free soda refill. Adoption agencies can be totally unfair, in my opinion.

The adoption agency does an in depth back ground check of the possible parents. Many people get turned down and it takes months or even years to adopt a child.

My problem is that the agencies charge a fortune to people that are willing to raise a child. These people will be paying for the child for about 18 years.
It should be free. Selling human children is not much different from buying slaves. According to your post they are same.
Quote:

-Let's talk about the kids. There's a popular misconception that adopted people are more dysfunctional than those raised by their biological parents; in reality, they're about the same. They may experience grief and loss about severed from their biological ties, part of this odd, pre-programmed belief within us that blood runs thicker than the heart. It gets more fun in the teenage years. The usual Giftorcursian angst is coupled with identity and self-esteem issues. Some may feel they're "playing a part" to please Mom and/or Dad. There are loads of options for getting them to grow a pair, though.

They experience grief from knowing that their biological parents did not want them in the first place. blood runs thicker through the heart? :?
Did you mean to say that blood runs thicker than water? :idea: If you did then that is not entirely true.
I would not want to go back to the people that so easily gave me up. The teens are probably hurt and angry with their biological parents.


Quote:
Is it a bittersweet option? A gift to the unfortunate? Legalized kidnapping? A necessary evil? YMMV.
Let the debate begin.

It's beats bringing another child into this world and it helps the poor children that never had a chance for a proper life.
Most of the time adoption is helpful.

Legalized kidnapping would cost nothing. :idea:


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techstepgenr8tion
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06 Jan 2012, 1:57 pm

Some people have great genes but terrible personal ethics, some people have great personal ethics but terrible genes. As long as that dialog can be worked out appropriately I think its a great option.


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Giftorcurse
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19 Feb 2012, 6:49 pm

That's the issue. Would you rather subject your child to a life of psychological unwantedness in a dysfunctional family or be aborted?


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Giftorcurse
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19 Feb 2012, 6:53 pm

Don't get sentimental on me.


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kg4fxg
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19 Feb 2012, 6:56 pm

We adopted. Went through Catholic Social Services.

B



Last edited by kg4fxg on 23 Feb 2012, 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Giftorcurse
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19 Feb 2012, 7:11 pm

You did it for the cash? [edit: personal insult removed by moderator]


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